Abstaining from sex?

After our third pregnancy scare my wife and i have decided to officially abstain from having sex. No birth control we have condoms but never use them. We freak over a late period. We are obviously to immature to practice safe sex. Are we being reasonable with officially abstaining?

Updates:
1 y
I just wanna clarify im not saying our method is the most reasonable or adult like. We know what birth control is but obviously dont take it seriously. The abstaining wasn't even our idea but when it was presented to us we thought hey we can use this as birth control until we can be a little more marure with our decisions. We can't just get steralized today and we said to each other that its a good tool to use and show how our actions are not great 2 kids from being careless. Possibly a 4th kid
1 y
She got her period!!!
1 1

Superb Opinion

  • I think you're being completely unrealistic. Why don't you use condoms? Why doesn't she use melting inserts that kill sperm. They're inexpensive, are inserted 10 minutes before sex and are good for one sexual encounter. Used with a condom they are 95% effective. Birth control foam works similarly. As well as sperm killing, folding sheets the size of gum wrappers, inserted into the birth canal close to the cervix and also melt in five to 10 minutes...

    However, an under the skin hormone releasing birth control device, the pill, or an IUD are all about 99 percent effective. The insert and IUD can stay in place for 5 to 10 years. The IUD does not introduce hormones into the body, nor do melting inserts and condoms.

    It simply requires planning. YOU MUST YOU THEM FOR EVERY SEXUAL ENCOUNTER. New melting insert, new condom, 10 minutes of waiting. Have them at the ready and USE THEM.

    I think this is simple. Use the wait for foreplay. At 41 you should have enough self control and rationality to realize you do NOT want another child and it is worth it to use preventatives.

    • Your right i agree not going to lie maybe we need better planning and stick with it. That was the main reason we said no sex. To avoid a pregnacy until we solve this.

    • Oh and I forgot. Natural family planning method. Mucous method and basal temp. Takes charting and checking. But once you learn it, you'll know when your partner is ovulating and you can put off sex. But swear off? You're kidding yourselves. Not going to happen. PLAN.

    • We are going over all our opions going forward. Do you think we should trust ourselves with that method?

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's like you want to keep breeding. My husband and I have NEVER had a pregnancy scare in the 30 years we have been together. The reason is that we did not, fuck and think later. You already have 3 dependents and you damn sure do not need anymore. There is no reason to do what you are doing. However, if you cannot take responsibility for your own health how can you make decisions for your kids?

    • We dont wanna keep breeding our last 2 were unplanned. I know how we are acting is not nornal or responible im not denying that. And I don't know why we drop the ball and like i said we have made attempts to use protection. But midway through i lose the feeling and my condom comes off.

Most Helpful Guys

  • This question is so private that it should not even be asked because no one here can answer for your wife.

    May I suggest talk to your wife and make a decision.

    It's nothing wrong if both agree to abstain.

    It's also nothing wrong if both agree to continue.

    And yes, keep up other form of intimacies as long as you both enjoy doing.

    Finally, don't be rigid. If after some time, you decide to resume sex, then talk again and then make a new decision.

    Really, decide with her, and not anyone here in GaG.

    • Thank you and we did talk about it and i was just curious what others think if we were making a better decision then doing nothing.

    • The key principle is: do you both agree? Sex? No sex? Resume after a period of time? It's all good, as long as its both your agreement. And if its a good decision by both of you, none of us outsiders can say anything. That's what I mean.

    • We both agree and have talked about it since her current period is late. I know it may be to late but we talked. We didn't set a resume time on sex thay we didn't do not sure how to guage that one.

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  • If you can do it is the best way not to get pregnant.

    • RE:UPDATE: YAHTZEEE!

    • Omg lol thays great but yes!!! We dodged a bullet.

    • Thanks for the MHO😎

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 6
  • why abstain with your wife? you have plenty of things to prevent pregnancy, available? its very odd in my opinion to be honest @41 too immature? so many things wrong here

    • I don't know we have never taken sex seriously i guess

    • go out shopping for protection with the wife, really so many different condoms and stuff to try

    • Thats the thing we have condoms but after having sex without one for so long i dont stay hard so we take it off no excuse i know. We have had talk after talk about it to but never take the next step.

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  • Why not have your wife take oral birth control?

    • She can't due birth control for health reasons anymore.

    • Vasectomy is an option if you never want children.

  • If she tracks her cycles well enough then you can do the fertility awareness method. It works really good if she is regular

  • Have you guys had kids?

    • We have 3 kids

    • So this will be your 3rd kid?

    • No we already have 3 and we are praying she starts her period soon.

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  • There are female condoms also. You guys are missing out a lot. Educate yourself if you are unsure.

    • I think we need to definetley educare ouselves.

    • Educate

  • I mean, there’s oral and anal sex, and female birth control. You don’t have to just abstain, but it is the most effective form of pregnancy avoidance.

    • I know and i dont mean abstain from evetrything just actual sex.

  • Incrediblely stupid. The whole point of marriage is to have regular and steady sex.

  • Absolutely reasonable. You’re way too young to be having children.

    • Whst do you mean

    • Only 41 years young... a teen pregnancy right now could really mess up his future goals/dreams 😣

    • @Apple1996 im not a teen?

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  • I'm scared for your children

    • What do you mean by that?

  • 1) I don’t see the point of abstaining
    2) why no birth control? There’s vcf spermicide that’s just as good as condoms.