After how many dates, do I have to put out?

[Anonymous]

[bluecotton]

You never "have to put out." Asexual individuals may not want sex ever, or else very infrequently. If you don't consider yourself asexual, then as general advice: You should have sex when you are ready and feel comfortable. You should never feel pressured into sex. That is a recipe for resentment, among other things. Communicate honestly and openly with your would-be partner and make sure they understand where you are coming from. Do your best to understand their wants and needs as well. Have an open and honest discussion. Who knows? All that talking about it might just turn you both on enough to get after it right then and there. ;)

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I don't want to sound like one of these feminist weirdos, but the answer is none. There is never a time where you're obligated to an extent that you have to.

That said, there does come a point where if you've gone out on say 4 dates and you still don't have the urge to put out or at least do something light. Maybe that isn't the right guy for you and it's time to move on so he can find the right person for himself.

There does come a point where unless you're values are very traditional, it's hurting both of you and then it's just plain unfair.

[_Maya_]

As many as you want. There is no requirement or magic number. It is when the two of you are ready for sex. You don't have to do that on date four or three or whatever. Sometimes it happens rather fast because two people just hit it off and other times you wanna get to know someone a little better for whatever reason. Example... the dates you went on were short because both of you were busy with things. So you want more dates because you want to get to know them better. Opposite of that is you had a couple really long dates and you just know that the guy is the one and you go for it. Don't put a number on that.

[Anonymous]

You don't have to put out in 1000 dates. You've got to do what's best for you and only if you like the guy. I waited until I was married.

I once heard a few girls trying to tell me that you'd have to give a guy a hand job or blowjob if he bought me an expensive steak dinner, he could keep his steak was my response. You got to value yourself

[ohsheeT]

I mean that's truly up to you if I've known the girl for a while which is usually the case before I take anybody out I like to put out the first day and that's just because everybody's grandmother says no don't do it hold off but if I really like the person if I feel their energy I'm going to put out.

No it's another thing it's a girl that I'm with wants to put out then LOL

[ImHere22]

It's seriously entirely up to you! If you're trying to get some on the first date, then let your intentions be known. And if you're trying to wait a bit, let him know you're not down to go beyond a certain level just yet. If he's a good human, he'll listen and abide by what you desire. If he's a dick and tries uses his on you regardless of your wishes, then stay far away from him.

[Zenpanda]

There is no set number, you do it when and only when you feel ready for it.
Never let someone pressure you to do it when you're not up to it.

[Katie1964]

When you feel like it.

[OlderAndWiser]

However many you decide. . . unless you are so desperate to have a man's validation that you are willing to allow him to dictate the terms of the relationship.

[lightbulb27]

you don't have to do anything you are not ready for. this should be a mutual emotional connection. And then, ideally you slow that down, especially at young ages because responsibility is on the other side of it, and possibly pain and suffering and life.

[Billlewis]

You don't ever have to let a guy have sex with you, no matter how much money he spends on you.

[SexyBrunetteNY]

There is no magic number, so don't feel pressured. Let it all happen naturally.

[BoopBoopBeep]

You don't HAVE TO, ever. That said, how long the various men are going to wait around is up to the various men, but that's not something random people on the internet can answer for you unless we knew the people you were dating personally.

[slatyb]

Have to? You don't ever have to. If you don't want to, then don't.

[strateguy632]

huh? if you don't FEEL the urge to put out after a 3 meetings don't bother. find someone attractive. your wording is weird.

[Miristheiss]

What kind of upbringing and value system do you have to talk like that?

Women all throughout history have not had sex until marriage or until they were with a long term committed partner.

Now have decades of these girls acting as if it is healthy and "good" to just sleep with whoever at anytime, body counts of 20, 50, 100. Should I have sex on the first date, 3rd or 5th?

This lifestyle will lead to trauma, depression, loneliness and brokenness.

[Dargil]

Never. You decide of you want intimacy with a guy.

[Fireguy17]

It will happen when and if it is time and not before.
There is no set rule.
If they can't wait, then they can find someone else.
I've had sex on the first date and after 4 months.

[DarkWinterNights]

You don’t have to put out at all. Just don’t lead him on. Make your intentions and goals clear.

[exitseven]

When you feel comfortable and you decide that you want to. Maybe never.

[stratford]

I don't ever want a girl to 'put out'. It should be a moment of passion, where both people want each other so badly they can't help themselves.

[FellowTraveler]

If you consider it 'putting out' as if it's an obligation as versus a mutual connection of pleasure and joy with another human being, then the path you are on is doomed to fail.

[tfan1]

Your choice but don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something that you don’t want to do.

[Mansearching]

Never ever have to put out. There is no number of dates.

I on the other hand, have gotten it by 3rd. A couple on first date. They didn't have to but we got caught up in moment.