After several times anal sex still hurts?

Question

My boyfriend and I have had anal sex several times and it still hurts like the first time. It hurts to even use the bathroom afterwards. He is 8 inches when erect. Does size matter? Yes! We use lube. When I am relaxed/aroused and he penetrates me the opening of my anus hurts like hell and when he tries to go deeper it feels like sandpaper is in me. I use a vibrator to stimulate my clit and I just cannot deal with the pain. It's been several days and the opening of my butt still hurts. We've been together for several years and we just wanted to spice it up. For those who enjoy anal sex how did you manage to ease the pain and/or pain free?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You're making the same mistake most people make when trying anal for the first time. What you are doing is akin to attempting to do the splits without first doing all the stretching and muscle toning that gymnasts do, but still expecting to have the same positive results they do. It's no wonder it's painful for you.

Here are a couple of very high level articles to help get you thinking.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a28688985/anal-training/

https://www.vice.com/en/article/k78qga/how-to-get-your-butt-ready-for-anal-sex-of-all-kinds

Yes, size matters, but only in the sense that you'll have to do a little more "training" to be ready for it. It sounds like I'm similar in size to your guy but my wife loves anal sex and get's great orgasms from it. But it wasn't always that way. She had to work at it, but she had fun doing it.

Get yourself a training plug set where the largest one is at least the size of your man, and spend some time training. Take it slow and don't push yourself beyond your comfort zone. Relax and don't move on to the next size until you are truly comfortable with the smaller one. Use a good water based lube. And most importantly, masturbate while you train so you begin to associate the sensations of anal stimulation with pleasure in your brain.

Don't let your man get his dick near your ass again until you're completely ready. He can help with a finger though if he want's to be involved.

talover · Accepted Answer

My wife and I have tried a couple of times in the first years of our marriage. I'm a thick boy so even with a lot of lube, relaxation, stimulation and butt plug insertions, she couldn't take me. In the end, we moved on and have never thought of trying it again.

Jessica405 · Accepted Answer

Yes, it does matter in this case. He should take it very easy, not like pounding in a vagina. You need loads of lube. You need your knees up by your boobs, which tends to open the entrance naturally.

I find laying on a table with my bum over the edge. My guy stands there and takes aim at either hole. Never let him go from bum to vag! Make sure he cleans his dick fully straight after, if he goes in bare back!

BlacklightShade · Accepted Answer

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ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Your technique sounds wrong.

have you tried just using a dildo and lube?
do the usual hygiene stuff first.

then using small dildo and lots of lube, practice getting dilation correct and also what position works best.

then move up to a dildo close to what he is, then practice dilation and positions.

make sure you take it very slow, make sure you all time for dilation.

make sure plenty lube. Try different positions that work better for you not for him,

Becca2001 · Answer

If it feels like sandpaper you might need a lot more lube

Iron_Man · Answer

Quit doing it

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

It's because the penis isn't meant to go into the anus. Anal sex for women is a minority only and the exception to the rule type of thing.

Twalli · Answer

I finger and lick her ass for about 5 minutes straight beforehand.

mrkdvsn · Answer

That should send a message to you that "anal" penetration is inappropriate. The anus was never meant for that type of activity. It's an EXIT hole, not an ENTRANCE hole.

In_Trance · Answer

use more grease

najekim · Answer

If it feels like sandpaper you need more lube.

OnTheLevel · Answer

Slow your pace. You are rushing it too much.

Anonymous · Answer

You both are not taking the proper time to get you relaxed. I have had anal sex with multiple girls and with the right preparation it is never painful.