Age gap... fetish?

I was falling in love with a guy who is 5 years younger than me (22 vs 27), it was mostly online since we lived in different cities but we met a couple of times and I felt like we def had chemistry.

I wasn’t super worried about our age gap even tho he’s same age as my brother so that was something I had to wrap my mind around but thankfully he does act more mature than my bro so that helped.

Anyway we were starting to get serious as in finding ways to be in a real long distance relationship and then making plans to see each other more often but then this happened:

one day he told me he’s always been attracted to older girls (he talked about it in the past but it was more like a casual “girls my age are not as mature” kind of thing so I didn’t pay a lot of attention to it) that all of his ex gf’s were a year or two older than him, how sex is better with older girls and how he was excited to be with someone even older.

Thats when I started to feel uncomfortable about this, funny how I didn’t mind the age gap at one point and now I’m just thrown off by it.

Now we keep in touch sporadically because I had to take a step back and although I still have feelings for him i can’t get past that age gap thing, now is almost all I can think of when we talk. I just don’t know if it’s silly of me to not want to be in a relationship just because of that piece of info.
What would you do?
0 1

Most Helpful Girls

  • Would you feel this way if you were speaking to a man that is 32 years old?
    If the answer is no, I suggest you don’t create a problem that isn’t there.
    There is nothing wrong with acknowledging something that is true.
    Are you older than your boyfriend? Yes.
    Is there anything wrong with it? No.
    What makes you feel this way is that you don’t necessarily fit into society’s norms of (younger woman—-older man).
    Now I have to ask you this,
    Are you living for society? Or yourself?
    Do what makes you happy.
    No excuses necessary!

    • No no, I did hesitate at first mostly because of growing up with my sibling who’s the same age but I don’t really care what society says, I consider myself to be very open minded. The problem here started when he made a big deal out of our age gap, saying sex was better with older women, or how excited he was that I was the oldest woman he’s dated.. things like that.

    • I know you don’t like feeling like a fetish but at this point I am sure you can see he’s into you besides your age. If you feel that the main reason he likes you is because you are older then try to bring this up with him and clarify it. This is the only way these negative feelings will pass.

    • Thanks!

    • Show All
  • I went out briefly with a man who was 21 when I was 27. To be honest I doubt he knew how old I was at first because I looked younger than my age. I got carded at 32. Anyway I don't there is a problem have that kind of age gap thing or to have a preference for someone older or younger but the whole sex is better and being attracted solely on the fact you are older would be a bit unnerving. Sounds like it was good that you took a step back. It is best to be attracted to the person or their maturity not a person's age.

    • reread your post. The age gap thing is nothing. I've known people to have much bigger age gaps and have 20+ years together. The real thing you would need to find out is does he really like you or the fact you are older. Ask him besides the sex experience thing what does he like about you. If he can't really come up with things that fall outside of the bedroom then you have your answer. It might come down to is he mature enough for you at 20. Does he have enough of your boyfriend criteria to move forward in a relationship. It has less to do with his age and more to do it he a good fit for you. I personally would date younger and older. It really depends if the man is kind, easy going person.

    • Thanks!

Most Helpful Guys

  • i olso have be in the same situation, i whas the young boy and my girl whas 5 yare older, i love her very much but she have the same proble, fuck the age, he is 18 yare ok, you're brother will be mad, don't make them meet each other. Only if you are mary him.

  • you're right, its stupid for people to be honest about their thoughts and feelings.

    We should just adopt a policy of saying and doing anything required to empty our balls into you and not give a single fuck about what happens to you.

    • Thanks for your super helpful answer. I will hide my thoughts and feelings too in order to not reject anyone in the future so they can empty their balls into me

    • You can't just turn what i said around because it doesn't work for you. You already are hiding your thoughts and feelings thats why you are talking to me instead of him. Also nothing in what i said suggested at all that you werent free to reject anyone you like. You want some good advise? Here it comes: As you evidently dont have a clue what you are doing why dont you go figure out the difference between your arsehole and your elbow before you mess with the next guys feelings?

    • Thanks for the feedback

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 10
  • I guess its your issue in your head to deal with and work through, it sounds like it is an issue to you and until you resolve that you won't be at ease with it

  • U like him, he likes you it's all good, in Muslim history our prophet Mohammed (صلا الله عليه وسلم) married a much older woman he was around 27 and the woman was in her 40s so it's OK to love some one with an age gap.

  • No not at all.. even many boys are more attracted towards aged ladies

  • A 5 year age gap is nothing

  • I mean I don’t think age cap is a fetish more like a preference

    • What if he has said something in the lines “the older the better”? I do have some fetishes myself I’m not vanilla but this makes me feel weird about being older than him

    • I like older women myself, it’s not about the age gap is more about the maturity and understanding also experience older women have

  • I have a thing for older women.

  • Age gap has NO revelence to anything in a loving relationship.
    Fact..)... Mary was 13 when she gave birth to JESUS.
    Joseph the father was 98 .

  • If he has a fetish is not your business. Important is how he treats you and how his behaviour is over all with you. He wants you and you wants him so go for it.
    You turn more and more old so his "fetish" won't be neither a problem in the future.

  • Age gap never bothered me. My wife wife is 10 years older then me. We have been married 20 years now. Also as you get older the age gap gets less noticeable.

  • It sounds like he's some kind of dangerous prevert to me. He probably likes being dominated and pegged too.