Am I a horrible wife?

Am I a horrible wife if I ended up cheating on my husband of 20 years with a younger man after he's lost interest in me? We haven't had sex in a very long time and during a time of weakness... I had a very brief affair with a younger boy... I feel horrible but at the same time my husband gives me absolute zero attention now adays. It really hurts.
0 2

Superb Opinion

  • Why feel guilty about that? My cousin had the same problem and she had a couple of affairs with men she met. If your husband ignores you, THAT is hurtful ! I would not suffer any guilt over it. You have a RIGHT to feel satisfied with your sex life, but be discreet about it.
    Others will give you different advice, but go with your feelings and don't let the 'guilt' weigh you down. Keep in mind, you will only be 'young' for a period of time, and later in life you will regret what you MAY have missed in your sex life. Just be careful, and selective about your partners. Yours is a COMMON problem. I have had many affairs with married women when I was in my 20's and 30's with women who had the same problem you have.

    • As an addendum, to what I wrote, I did get a 'down' vote to my advice which I expected. People who have been married for several years, and are 'our age' are not mentally prepared to end a marriage and start over again as a 'single parent' or just 'single' and go through all the BS you have to endure going that route. Easily said, not easily done, and I can tell you as a 'once married', 'once divorced' man, it is easier for a man than a women. As I said in my first writing, you certainly are not alone in your situation, so don't let it get you down or depressed and guilty, about an affair or two or three. You only go through life ONCE.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Cheating is never okay.

    Have you had conversations with your husband? Have you gotten marriage counselling? If you've done all that, then the next step is separation and potentially divorce, but not cheating.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Yes you are and you’re even worse for trying to justify it and throw a pity party. There is no pity for you. If you’re not happy in the relationship and you’ve talked to him about it and done what you can to fix it then you leave before you go out and f someone else. It really is as simple as that and there is no if’s, what’s or but’s. Disgusting, spineless, narcissistic behavior.

  • Cheating is plain wrong, for whatever reason. Either stick with your husband, or leave him. Don't do half measures like you have done.

    I assume your husband doesn't know. I feel sorry for him, being forced to be part of your life of deception and betrayal.

    Do the right thing and tell him.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 19
  • You won't be getting "Wife of the Year" award.

  • You are a horrible wife, and a horrible person.

    If you don't believe me, ask your husband.

  • Based on what you’ve written here your culpability is pretty limited.

    If you feel guilty about taking the unilateral action that you took then you might be better off not to do it again.

    If you’re more of an inner-directed type of person who doesn’t feel guilty about. The action you took to redress a grievance that was imposed on you then you’ll likely do it again.

    In NEITHER case would I suggest that you EVER reveal what you did to your husband.

  • you guys need to talk for sure find out why he isn't giving you any attention in the first place. he could also be cheating. sounds like a major issue. but if you want to save the marriage, have a serious discussion about it, i dont think you are horrible but you both sound very lost and outta touch literally with each other. kinda sounds like he doing his own thing as well?

  • Adultery is the ultimate betrayal.

  • I don't think so.

    But, I've always been bewildered by why "cheating" is horrible, or what it even means.

    Psychologists say that we get angry about cheating for purely biological reasons.

    Our primal brains get upset about someone procreating with our partner because we want to ensure the survival of our own genes.

    It makes sense, anger is typically a fight or flight response of the primitive parts of our brains.

    So one must ask, who is guilty of a primal response? The cheater or the cheated on? Well, they both are.

    Why then, get upset about someone having sex with someone else? Did it not give them pleasure? Do we want to act like primates or like an evolved person?

  • I would think better of couples if they went
    to marriage counseling to deal with things
    instead of committing adultery but maybe
    this happened cause he could have been
    committing adultery which is sad if he was
    cheating on you behind your back

  • Nope. You're only a horrible person because you're blaming your husband for it basically. All you did above was make excuses for your cheating

  • Do you think hubby is also having an affair? Why did he loose interest?

  • Marriage counseling? Discussed a divorce? That seems to be where you are headed.

  • Did he cheat on you?
    Marriage is about sticking it out and remaining true to your vows.
    I hope you do feel like complete shit.
    However, the fact you're still together shows that even in unhappy times he remains by your side

  • as I always say women don't deserve loyalty. What a piece of shit.

  • I’ve had chances to sleep with married women, but never did. No matter how dire your situation, you should divorce before you get to doing what you’re doing. I’d feel bad too. Thou shall not commit adultery. No matter how you rationalize it, it’s still wrong. When you get married you say your vows and such. Get divorced. Then you can go fuck as much as you want.

  • Did you say anything to him about him? If not then yes you are a horrible wife and even if you did you should have just divorced

  • Yes you are

  • yes you're horrible... let me know if you want to do it again lol

  • Women

  • @girlnamedmal
    not at all why should u miss out if he is not interested he's prob fucking behind your back.

    you could spice it up and bring another girl home for him and have fmf threesome :D

  • Wow i hope ypu 2 can find forgiveness

  • Why you didn't try to talk with your husband before cheat him?

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