Am I a virgin if I did this?

[Anonymous]

So, this is very embarassing and I considered not asking anything but my mind has been killing me with this. Ever since I was a little girls, I had the habit of rubbing agaisnt whatever I was sitting on. I don't really know how it started but yeah.
It was only much, much later, when I was about 15 when I realised that it was one form of masturbation. I had never understood why I got scolded for it as a little child (had to be around 4/5). And over the years it never changed much, besides me becoming more descreet about it (tho I'm not sure if people still knew what I was doing) because while I knew I was doing something wrong, I didn't know what I was doing wrong.
I realised what it was and switched it to just bouncing my leg (nothing sexual).
Most people would say "Oh you only lose it in PiV sex!" But I don't believe that. For me, any planned sexual act counts (because for me rape doesn't make you lose your V-card). And while, this didn't happen, no one touched me in a planned sexual way, I would say, "Hum, this is dumb, I'm a virgin, that's it" But masturbation is such a private matter.
Now, if you don't mind, I will procced to fall into a hole of shame.

[Anonymous]

Virginity is seen, in every culture that cares about it, as never having had intercourse.

So, your own definition notwithstanding?
Every other society on Earth, ever, would judge you as still being a virgin.

As for your hole of shame?
Why? Most people wouldn't care, or wouldn't judge you negatively for it.

[Asker]

I don't know, I just feel guilty about it. It makes me upset.

[Opinion Owner]

do you feel self conscious about having had rubbed on things so often and people seeing it? if so... that's understandable, but also harmless. You didn't know what you were doing, so there's no reason to feel guilty, and no one is/has judged you. Do you feel guilty for masturbating, in and of itself, even if totally private? If so, why? Almost everyone has done it. It is normal, natural, and harmless. Even if very sexually conservative and you believe sex should be only with a single partner, and only after marriage, there is actually very little sensible argument for how masturbation is dangerous or immoral. One way to look at it is, by masturbating, you are satisfying a desire you feel that you also feel you shouldn't act on with other people. It's a way to relieve stress and sexual tension, and feel satisfied, while retaining your virginity and not involving other people.

[Asker]

No, I'm fine with masturbating, for the most part that is. It's really the fact that it was public that upsets me.

[Opinion Owner]

It was when you were 4 or 5 you were scolded. I've known kids that age that were scolded for much worse. Especially so many years later... no one judges you for it. It's OK.

[Asker]

I hope so... Thanks.

[Opinion Owner]

No problem. I mean, I'm a shy introvert as well, so take it from me: no everyone is judging you, and a lot of people who do judge you? Their opinions don't matter. Don't beat yourself up over things like that. It's OK.

[Asker]

Thank you :)

[Opinion Owner]

of course :)

[abc3643]

You stop being a virgin when a penis is inside your vagina. Period.

[abc3643]

This: " rape doesn't make you lose your V-card" is ridiculous. How would you explain a child born from rape then? (For example, Olivia Benson on "Law & Order: SVU" is a child of rape.)

[Asker]

For me you can lose your v-card with sex only. And sex is about consent and desire. Rape is not, it's a power play, a violent act.

[abc3643]

So the mother of a child of rape is a "Virgin Mother"? I think a lot of people - especially Christians - are going to have an issue with that.

[abc3643]

I guess the Virgin Mary was raped by God then, hunh?

[Asker]

I'm not religious so I'm not really the best to defend God (even tho I was raised in a catholic christian household haha)

[lawhawk84]

You aren't the first to ask this question. The universal definition is someone who has had actual sex. Not masturbation, fingering, oral, or anything else. Dick inside= no more v card.

[Iron_Man]

Just don't do anything

[Asker]

Yes, but?

[Iron_Man]

Yes but no sex for you so dont look for it

[Asker]

Okay, but am I a virgin or not?

[Iron_Man]

I said yes

[Trooper205]

I personally think Masturbation, Rubbing and other physical Non-Intercourse methods DON'T take your Virginity. They way I see it, a Human Penis must enter you to take your Virginity. Pretty plain, I suppose.

[Proxyz123]

Ofc you're still a virgin

[Potatocream]

bruh what lol why wouldn't you be a virgin 😂 losing your virginity means someones cock inside of you 😂 how does masturbating fullfill that xD and dont feel bad lol

[Yellovv]

Pretty normal you want to rubbing yourself on something.

[Asker]

And?

[Yellovv]

And you feel horny.

[Anonymous]

I don't view masterbation as a means to losing your virginity. However, I do view rape as a way to lose it; part of the reason rape is as terrible as it is.

[Anonymous]

how far is that hole? hope the hole of shame doesn't eat you up

[Asker]

God, so embarassing :')

[Opinion Owner]

XD nah jk