Am I bad girlfriend for faking?

[Anonymous]

Hi,

So, I've never had an orgasm with my boyfriend when we have sex. He doesn't know that.

He's done everything I wanted him to, but I just can't ever finish, so I started lying to him and telling him I did in fact finish.

I know it's bad, but he just can't make me finish and I kinda feel bad to tell him that. Overall sex is great, but I never orgasm (which I don't find so bad at all, i can finish myself).

My question is, am I that bad of a girlfriend for lying to him? He always gets so excited when I tell him I had an orgasm, I can't break his heart :/

[MrOracle]

Yes, you're being a bad girlfriend and a bad woman in general.

When you fake, you are essentially training him NOT to please you or get you over the finish line, which is bad for him, bad for you, and bad for any women he's ever with after you.

Faking is a corrosive and deceptive practice, and in my opinion is no better than other types of deception.

[rtj1211]

Are you sure you WOULD break his heart, because that's a terribly patronising attitude to have about men.

I had my dad project all his own insecurities onto his son when I was growing up and it made me so pissed off I can't really describe it properly. A lot of men HATE being treated like little boys.

We didn't get practical classes in giving girlfriends orgasms at school or college, you know. You need to have the respect to show him, then encourage him to mimic what you did, then enjoy the results of your joint success down the line.

If you treat your boyfriend like a baby, how do you think you are going to treat your actual babies? As adults?

[Smashingdoozy]

Yes. It's not only bad for him it's bad for you. Now you either have to keep up the lie which will suck for you or tell him the truth. You can work out a way that will get you to orgasm it just takes time and patience

[Still-alive]

Yessss totally agree.

[shesrad]

well it makes no sense at all, why not communicate? he obviously wants to please you, based off his reaction to him thinking you climaxed, why not just be open and honest.

[Red_Arrow]

Yes, bad. If he does not know that he is not making you cum, how can he know he needs to improve? How can you now give him guidance since you arlready lied and says hi is doing good? And at some point you may have to be honest for some reason and he will then know you lied to him the whole time.

[Vanidal]

You are a very bad girl.
You need discipline.
Hmm. Yeah.


Talk to him.
But don't start with: I have never had an orgasm with you.
Start with: hey, I saw this the other day. Orgasm seems amazing. Can you help me experience it?
Make it something that you want to explore together. If you want to explore the orgasm cave, don't leave him outside :)

[SnowedIn]

This. Perfectly said.

[spartan55]

Yes, you are a bad girlfriend.. Teach the guy how to get you off. You realize you are only screwing yourself over (so to speak) by not communicating, right?

[Berethor]

It complicated, lying is bad, but you do it to make him feel good about himself.

[20yearsolder]

Yes, you're a bad girlfriend. You're giving this guy the impression that he's doing a good job. Even if he is doing a good job you need to let him know that you're not cumming. Do you orgasm when you masturbate? If you do then teach him how to do it

[AviatorTom]

You've already broken his heart by lying to him. Tell him the truth and use your fingers next time to get off with him.

[Dargil]

I wouldn't want you to do that for me. Just enjoy the ride and maybe put a little more energy in to the "dance". Make it best for him and you might feel more fulfilled yourself.

[RavVid]

Hmmh. I think you need to be honest. I can understand it is a white lie to make him happy but it is self defeating. You'll leave him thinking that what he does works when it is not working.

It is a bit hard now to tell him he doesn't ring your bell at this point. Maybe leave what you have said in the past in the past but acknowledge you are having difficulty orgasming lately. I know I am telling you to lie more!

You could finish yourself off in front of him. I have begged and pleaded with girlfriend's to do that.

[exitseven]

He will figure it out on his own so you might as well tell him. It does not have to be bad.

[FilmGuy93]

Yeah, that makes you a bad girlfriend. But wayyyyy more importantly than his feelings; you're setting your relationship up to fail by making sure that you're having unfulfilling sex.

[JPresidente]

Please don’t do that. Just be honest. Guys don’t like that stuff.

[Emma_Walker]

Yeah, kinda you should tell him what you want and how you want it. You should not lie to him

[Wise4myage]

You're only cheating yourself in the long run.

[macjets007]

Not a bad girlfriend, but if you didn't fake then you two could talk about it and maybe figure it out! Communication is key to everything in relationships including fucking!

[maximumpower]

Not necessarily bad, but dishonest.
That in itself isn't good.

[TacticalLizard]

Lying doesn’t make you a bad Person only makes you a bad person if A person is Hurt by your lies

[Zolly99999]

I wouldn't say a bad girlfriend but you shouldn't fake it either.. just tell him the truth and work with him

[coffeecacao]

I suggest tell the truth thats up to you

[QuietRunner]

yes faking will reinforce bad techniques and not get you true pleasure

[panamared1]

do you need direct clitoral stimulation