Am I being dumb?

I'm going to take a vow of celibacy because

After last year and how many girls I had sex with in a single month (double digits)

I repented and turned back to God

After I saw how my spirit started corroding

I lost the high standard i had set for myself a few years earlier as a teen

I liken my experiences to having eaten too much fast food
The lethargy
The brain fog
The depression
I considered myself to have been gay at that point. (Read mytake: You're gay if you eat peanut butter)
And now that my girlfriend, the only girl I ever really liked, has died i have to take drastic measures to honor her.
2 1

Superb Opinion

  • Well, you do what you feel you need to do at whatever point in your life you're at. Celibacy isn't some irreversible thing, though you can do it for yourself rather than taking a vow for someone else.

    There's many ways to find god, worship, heal in your own life, and devote yourself to faith while you can't put your life together or pieces of it. Rather than taking a vow of celibacy, getting more involved with your church and your community would probably help you find your sense of self, and what you desire in the future though.

    Most people don't understand the intense ennui that comes from just ONS and NSA deals that you get on a regular. It just becomes so systemic and predictable when meeting people and having sex with them turns from romantic to exciting to routine.

    Granted I don't think I ever slept with double digits in a month, at most a different girl every week on average for a few years because I could and didn't have a desperate feeling for anything more except money.

    You're 21, mourning, and going through experiences many 21 year olds do not. Mourn, fall back on your church and community, lose yourself in work for a while. Don't try to rush yourself into getting laid or into a relationship again. Just live and try to find a way to be ALIVE man, that's what your girl would want for you, right?

    Hell, if you want a real change, and to be celibate for a few months with a sense of purpose, join the Marines. Boot camp is three months, you won't even have the chance to jerk it. I guarantee your perspective will be changed on the other side. As well as through other experiences. You won't have a chance to be lethargic. It's an idea to toss out there, though very few people take that initiative.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I don't know what to add except, I support your decision and am sorry to hear about your girlfriend, that's very tragic. Just don't let honoring her direct your life direction. I sense you probably feel some guilt about her death and it's not your fault. Honor her, but improve yourself for you. I wish you the best.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It's not about you being dumb hun. Choosing something you believe is something you need to do is never dumb. How else will you know if it's the right decision or not for yourself unless you try?

    All I can say is try not to expect or hold high standards for anything you do. Don't waste your time by staying a certain way because you believe in time it will make you happy. Try it out and take in the experience but if it's not bringing anything positive to your life than just know that it doesn't make you wrong or dumb if you find out it didn't work out the way you hoped. It's ok to change your mind. It's ok to be wrong.

  • It sounds like you're grieving and celibacy is an appropriate stance to take in the face of grief. According to how long you were with your girlfriend will impace how long you grieve.

    However, you might want to reconsider including sex in a serious relationship that could end up being lifelong. It doesn't matter if you're with a man or a woman. Leave your heart open after it heals.

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What Girls & Guys Said

7 27
  • Yikes. Not dumb but extreme. Are you ok?


  • "After last year and how many girls I had sex with in a single month (double digits)
    I repented and turned back to God."

    One less guy to compete with for women is always good news. Good luck with your celibacy.

  • I can relate my husband passed away December 2018 please take your time through this pray, meditate, talk about it. Take care & my condolences 🙏

  • It's a good thing to have self-control.
    It's a good thing to have priorities in life that don't revolve around women.

    I don't see how never having sex honors your girlfriend but there's no law that says you have to have sex.

  • Extremely silly. It's like a guy winning big in sports that all of a sudden has a "revelation" and retires because "it's not right that I'm the only one winning".
    But since you had experience with stuff like depression, I can see why you'd do something silly believing it's smart or noble.

  • It sounds like you are taking a new, serious look at your life, and changing in areas that you understand are needing attention. Good idea.

  • Why are youo being dumb idg? Anyways you're just 21. Be celibate for a few years, focus on your career , mourn etc then try to look for something serious and stop being slut.

  • I understand your emotions are real but asceticism is not the answer. You sound depressed and guilt-ridden over something you have no reason to feel guilty about. So you had a lot of sex. Was it consensual? Then forget about it. If you are so inclined you can look for something more serious now.

    If you can't get past these feelings consider seeing a counselor. Good luck.

  • Do you little guy.

    • Also, sorry for your loss mate. That's rough.

  • I’m sorry she died

  • I wouldn't advice you to do this, just let the time pass, focus in other things, learn something new etc. Don't need to do this

    Ps: I'm sorry for you girlfriend.

  • Crap, sorry about your girlfriend. Yes, you have gone off the rails a little. You are in a slump and you will come out on the other side of this.
    You had a big wake up call and you will honor your late girlfriend's memory.

  • Isn't this how the beginning of ACE Ventura: When nature calls begins?

  • Why not just looking for a quality relationship?

  • Entirely up to you

  • You're not honoring her by being celibate. On the contrary. If you enjoyed her company she would want you to enjoy other girls. You're far too young to shut yourself off from the pleasures of a committed relationship.

  • Have you considered therapy, you sound a bit unhinged man. Try youper app it's a free ai therapist

  • So you had sex with all those woman right in the middle of a pandemic? This doesn’t make sense to me at all. Go to God And stick with him

  • Sorry for your loss. I know how that feels...
    The only thing dumb I’m seeing here is your take on peanut butter. lol No offense.

  • I was your age when I went celibate. And as a man man to man, that sounds like a very wise idea and a very wise decision you putting God in your life. Condolences for your loss.

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