Am I Dating a Dom?

[Anonymous]

Met a guy when my friends and I went on a speed dating event for kicks and giggles. Wasn't expecting any more to come of it than some funny stories, but met a really cute guy. We've since been on several dates. He has a very commanding presence (in a good way - he's not overbearing, but super confident).

Disclaimer: all of what I mention below I'm okay with - he has never hurt me and he's been really respectful when I've asked him to stop. But I've never been exposed to this area before, and something about how he's acting feels more than just a playful kinkiness. So, I guess I'm just curious if he's truly a dom, how to find out, and if anyone has tips for a girl who's new to that whole world (I'd be game for trying out the "lighter" stuff, just not anything too extreme. Also, I'm not naive enough to believe any of that 50 Shades crap).

Since then, in our makeout sessions, he kinda started pulling my hair a bit (more towards the roots, so he's guiding my head on how to turn), before he trailed his hands to my neck. He wasn't chocking me or painful, but he was definitely watching me to see how I'd react. I've never had a guy actually hold my neck while making out that way (I'm not into chocking, so luckily it was a very lose hold).

I started to back off a bit (I was gonna go grab water), but he pulled me back and told me he hadn't given me permission yet and if I wasn't careful, he'd have to bend me over and spank me. Later, when I did get back from grabbing water, he pulled me into him, kissed me hard and then turned me before grabbing my ass and telling me "I told you so. I have a feeling you're gonna like this. Something tells me you like being submissive."

After we finished making out, he was super attentive, cuddly and softly affectionate. He kept saying things like "thanks for being such a good girl tonight."

[IDontbitehard]

If you like him (which it seems you do) let the guy know that you'd like to play along the next time he starts up by mentioning softly"Don't be to rough" and let it play out. Directly talking about it could damper it for both of you.

[Asker]

Thanks for your advice! What else do Doms do to "test" a girl? Or any other advice on moving forward? Just follow his lead?

[IDontbitehard]

Your welcome. Well, by this time you've already fantasized some (obviously) and know what is turning you on about it. Whatever that may be, flaunt it to him somehow. Spill your purse with something in it, or when he ask you to do something in a normal setting say"yes sir" in a sexy suggestive manner.

[VesatileMarie]

R either he really is dom or mentally unstable, and I mean that in the purest way possible. If it's ok with it? Then cool but be careful, it's early on so there's no telling how far he'll go

[Anonymous]

Maybe he is, but you need to sit down and talk with him about how real doms get consent before doing such things. Then talk about your limits.

[Asker]

Any tips on how to broach that? I'm a total newbie.

[Opinion Owner]

Ask. Sit him down over coffee.

[Richareens]

Definitely a DOM lol. That was a nicely written story tbh

[Asker]

Haha thanks. Any tips for moving forward?