Am I gay, please help?

[Anonymous]

Hello, everyone. I need help. So I'm a 21-year-old boy. I liked girls as a child, I was even in love with 2 and with one of them we were dating for a month, but then everything failed. I was 16/17 then and in the years after that I never managed to find another girlfriend. I still didn't get along with women, and I tried everything. So one day, I was 19 and I started thinking about what it would be like if I were a girl, a 19-year-old young girl. To wear women's clothes, to have a girl's life, etc. In the beginning I only wore thongs and panties and whatever women's clothes I could find and looked like that, I looked ugly, but I felt good. A little later I started to think what it would be like if I suck cock like a girl and fuck me like girls are getting fucked.. I started chatting with men, I didn't like them, but I wanted a cock! Then I find one man. Completely unknown at the age of 39. He came to my place, and I was dressed normally. We talked a little and I told him I was going to get ready. I went to the bathroom, undressed. I put a thong, put a bra and stuffed socks inside to look like breasts. I put on a skirt, a purple tank top and went to him. He said I look good and to squat down. I got scared and started thinking, what am I doing, Lord, but there was nowhere to go. I knelt in front of him, he unzipped, took off his jeans and saw a cock in front of me, but it was soft. I grabbed it with my hand and after a while I swallowed it. I blew him like that for about 2-3 minutes, then he went to bed and lay down, and I stood at his feet, pushed my ass up and continued to suck him. But he coudnt get hard, at one point I felt sick from the inside and I told him I didn't want to do it anymore. He got a little upset, got up, put on his jeans, said goodbye for now and left. Then I felt terrible at first, but after a while, I mean a few hours. I started to get excited and happy about what happened. I saw what it's like to suck a cock. So, can you help me?

[NamerOfStars]

First thing's first: relax. You're uncertain of what you feel and what that means about you, so let's take a minute and think it through. You're not in any immediate danger; you can take the time to sort this out. Please bear in mind that what I'm saying here isn't authoritative; even if I had the authority to assess your sexuality from a distance, I'm not a psychologist. What I'm about to say should guide you as you ask these questions of yourself.

Now, it sounds like you have at least some degree of gay curiosity. Okay. Do you still feel sexual attraction towards women? Freud and Kinsey both say that absolute heterosexuality is rare; that most people have SOME degree of attraction to their own sex. I obviously don't know if that's true (I'm not a telepath), but I figure it probably is. That would mean that there's probably some wiggle room in the percentage before you cease to be "straight"- or it's a very small group.

It also sounds like your first encounter with a guy didn't go too well. That's okay. It sounds like you kind of rushed into it. Sex can be scary, especially when you're trying something new, or with someone new. But the PROSPECT of new-stuff sex is pretty much always scary. I've never been the ONS type; all the sex I've had has been inside a relationship, so I can't say with certainty that it's not as good if it's with someone you don't know, but I truly do believe that to be the case; it's not about "Hey, here's a penis, time to blow it", it's about "Hey, here's Dennis, time for some sexual fun with him". Sex really isn't something you should rush; everyone involved should be comfortable with what they're doing. If you do decide to try it again, you might want to go a bit slower.

In the Venn diagram of male sexuality, crossdressing plays an important part. Several of them, actually. In the abstract, it's kind of strange that we make such arbitrary decisions on what is "masculine" and what is "feminine": what's the difference between a Catholic schoolgirl skirt (seen as markedly feminine) and a kilt (markedly masculine)? That the pleats go all the way around? That one's attached at the end, while the other's a single piece of cloth?

There are many reasons a guy might wear women's clothing: comfort, tactile feeling, a desire to feel feminine, sexual gratification, humor, etc. And none of them are mutually exclusive. Ask yourself what appeal it has for you. Are you enjoying that part of what being a girl would entail, or are you enjoying thinking of yourself as a girl? If the thoughts feel a bit overwhelming, remember that it's just fabric; clothing can't change what you are.

[MCheetah]

Yeah, I'd say you're probably gay. And likely trans.

[GirlyGal20]

Hard to tell. You're either gay or bisexual. You could look at pictures of famous people and see what you like

[In_Trance]

you're a troll