Sexual Relationships
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Am I Going to Get Laid?

A girl I met on a hookup app (not a dating site—geared toward hookups) agreed to meet me.
I told her I would get a nice hotel room that overlooked the city and we would order room service, enjoy the view, and then we could snuggle while I read aloud to her (from a specific dystopian book we had been discussing), and we could stay in for the evening. She replied, “That sounds WONDERFUL! …so long as you don’t expect anything sexual to happen on the first date.”

I, of course, do expect something sexual to happen; else, I would have suggested a different “date!”

What do you think? If she is meeting me in a hotel room for the night, is she expecting us to have sex?

Can I plan to initiate, be a tiny bit aggressive, and see where things go?

Or do I need to accept her statement above as a clear denial of consent from the start?

Honestly, I’m not interested in dating this girl. She doesn’t live close to me. I want to hook up and leave the door open for future hookups.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • When the woman states: "Don’t expect anything sexual to happen on the first date," then don't.

    You promised her a nice hotel room that overlooked the city where we would order room service and enjoying the view where the two of you could snuggle while you read aloud from a specific dystopian book that the two of had been discussing. That sounds nice and is what she expects. That is what you will get.

    If you anticipate more, you are dropping a bunch of money... for nothing. Being aggressive have her storming out of the room or kicking you in the balls.

    Playing games with women is a losing proposition. You are old enough to know better.

    • This is certainly wise. Playing games only leads to frustration. On the other hand, fooling around can be fun. I didn’t think we were ever discussing anything other than a sexual encounter. The day we “matched” she stripped for me on cam. If anything, I was worried she was going to ask for a fee after we did it.

  • I think if someone wants to meet up a hotel, it’s pretty obvious they want sex. So I would say she’s expecting sex (especially if you started talking on a hook up app)

Most Helpful Girls

  • Wait so she replied That sounds WONDERFUL! …so long as you don’t expect anything sexual to happen on the first date.” I would tread carefully with this, she's basically telling you she doesn't want anything to happen on the first date. If you want something on the first date, you probably want to pass up this opportunity up.

    • This is why I need a female opinion! It sounds like a mixed message to my male ears. I don’t know which half of the message to focus on. We already made the date. If I called it off, would that be a snub?

    • Well do it's not that uncommon for us to not want sex on the first date, we can end up with too high of a body count that way, if it turns all the guy wants is a one night stand. If you're wanting this to possibly be a relationship you might not want to be too aggresive by trying something right away, when she's already told you not to expect that. Then you'll just look like a creep. Maybe she just want you get to know you and make out a little bit see how you vibe and all.

    • Oh sorry I re-read post, I forgot you said you don't want to date this girl, in that case I would call off the date, it sounds like you two are not on the same page about this "date" is.

  • She doesn’t wanna hook up. You will be disappointed.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 7

  • I did something like that except book was “Civilization and It’s Discontent”, Freud. I sat in wooden chair and she sat on my lap facing me…old wooden study desk in dorm…. Intellectual Stimulation…
    She liked it and every two weeks we made jack/ginger or martinis or jello shooters. Edwards/Luther (Bondage of the Will) type books, Nietzsche, Kierkegaard. Augustine, Spinoza, Bacon, Locke, Ingles, Acquinas, Rogers, Milgram, Jung, Skinner etc…

  • i would never go to a hotel with a guy if i wasn't going to sleep with him. it's stupid of her to agree to this if that's what she has in mind

  • Maybe she just wants to see if there's some chemistry because sometimes you think you connect with somebody online and then you get in person and there's no chemistry at all.

  • If she said nothing sexual that means she doesn't want to hook up.

    And why are you trying to hookup on the first date?

    Go ahead and try if you want but I feel like you're just wasting your money. And you might even get slapped with a sexual assault charge.

    • I’m definitely not planning a sexual assault.

  • Don’t do that that’s just respect for the girl you can’t appreciate a girl like that that’s like the next future whore giving it up real quick

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