Am I just the Mistress/Side Chick here? Is it all in my head?

I’m quite upset. Sorry if it’s so long I will keep it as short as possible. I met a guy at a bar a year ago and we have been speaking everyday really up until now. He used to be really sweet even after we had sex.

We’ve had sex so many times now and it’s really great I just thought it would go somewhere at some point after but it’s been a year and all I do is go to his house and sleep and have sex then i have to leave the next morning as he says he has work but someone told me that his ex girlfriend is living there and she finishes work at 6 since she’s a nurse. Which I’ve noticed 5:45 am is the time I have to leave.

I know we’re both attracted to each other but since he’s 30 and I’m 20 we don’t have much in common as I would with someone my age. I’m 21 soon. He has 3 kids with this ex. I’ve noticed on her Facebook page too she must have her own house but she has pictures at his house.

Lately the past 2 weeks I’ve been meant to go see him but he cancels last minute and says ‘I’m not actually home yet, can I come and see you’ or oh ‘Shall we go to a hotel’ although he has his own house? Or he says ‘Shall we go on a drive somewhere in my car or to a hotel we can’t go to mine’ I’m starting to feel like someone is there?

I ask him and ask him if he’s back with her can he just let me go but he says he isn't and that he wants to speak to me then he will just change the subject and just speak to me normally. I’m really upset it’s hard for me to let go considering he isn’t really letting me since he’s keeping me there?

What do I do? Or is this all in my head, am I being paranoid and maybe he’s just busy? He’s started to reply only when it’s convenient for him and he’s not online as much anymore. He hasn’t replied to my message in 15 hours.
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Superb Opinion

  • This is a tough situation especially as you have feelings for him, but I would cut him loose. It is not not likely to get better. Please consider he might very well have not just the girlfriend you know about but another one or more. He might have found a new one and is focused on her now. I am sorry.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, he is using you strictly for sex. You said it so yourself. Other than a physical attraction, you have nothing else.
    He has 3 kids, an ex that is around. That sounds like a big headache. Doesn’t sound like you two do much talking. No studs your age? I’d move on.

    • There is a lot of people my age I get along with as we’re on the same levels and stuff but It’s just since I’m quite attatched to him as it’s been a year, I’ve never actually spoken to someone for this long before

    • Talk with someone else then. The only thing you do is have sex? Don’t you feel used?

Most Helpful Girl

  • It definitely sounds like he’s living with her, based on the time he makes you leave and the time she gets off work.

    • Yeah I also saw women’s stuff in his house when I went I forgot to add. And my friend drove past seeing a women in there so I think it confirms it

    • It’s also very bad that he doesn’t take you out in public. He’s using you as a side chick for sure.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 5
  • Denial. It's not just a river in Africa.

    • Do u think I am being paranoid then?

    • No, quite the opposite. It seems you are looking for an excuse to avoid confronting the obvious truth.

  • He's definitely living with her.

  • I would say you need to drop the Jerk! Block his number block him on face book and everything! Tell him you are done and just be done with him.

  • Sounds pretty fishy to me. Are you sure he is still not married?

    • I’m not sure... he really keeps me at arms length he dosent even let me have his phone number! And I see women’s things in his bathroom when I’m over his house

    • he is still married.

  • leave if you have any doubt

  • Yes sounds like you're a side piece. And maybe a reconciliation is a possibility or in the process? He says no, because it's not "official", but doesn't mean one or the other isn't trying or that it's not being talked about. They do have kids together after all. But even if not, you don't sound like you're going to be someone serious for him. So if you were hoping for that, or want that, you might want to rethink it?