Sexual Relationships
1 mo

Am I Paranoid & too cautious if I dont let a stranger use my bathroom or a male neighbour into my home when my husband is not there?

A friend thinks I'm just paranoid but there's been a few times where I just just hear warning bells. Like one time. e this neighbour while very friendly dragged my garbage bin in for me and asked if he could come in for a drink of water and I've seen the way he looks at me and he knows my husband is at work, I told this guy to wait outside and I would get him a glass of water buy he tried to follow me in only I stopped the door with my foot and told him to wait outside. He still had pressure on the door saying it was only a drink of water no big deal. I called my husband from my Mobile phone and he went away. I told my husband about it and I know he had words with him where our neighbour works at his car, I know because a friend saw and said my neighbour looked petrified. My husband never would tell me what was said. He did install some cctv cameras and fit some new security locks on the doors. That neighbour doesn't look in my direction anymore.

Also had delivery men, salesmen and survey people asking to use my bathroom.

0 6

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • You are not paranoid and shouldn't feel judged or like you have to prove anything to anyone. First off, its YOUR HOUSE! You and your husband decide what and who goes on in your house! Secondly, it is highly inappropriate to have any man inside your home at all when your husband is not home, coupled with the added safety/security hazard. You ever notice how in movies, especially older movies that even when family is visiting for the holidays, when the owner/husband/man of that house leaves for whatever reason, the other men including the wife's father will think of some task that needs to be done in order to politely leave the house as well. Vice-versa that only the shady/manipulitive woman stays behind to talk to the men while a lady excuses herself or follows her friend to the other room.

Most Helpful Girl

  • No very good girl always listen!

    That man was awful and probably wanted something bad pushing on the door when you said no!

    Really things like that happen way to much! Have pepper spray or a tazer ready when men are near!

    Waiting for him is a good thing don't let feminists or friends tell you to do things to let you get hurt!

    Here many women are rapped letting guys and girls inside while alone! Their children kidnapped too!

    If it feels unsafe then it is! Always listen!

Most Helpful Guys

  • Definitely not paranoid. You are rightly cautious and quick on your feet. If you hadn't called your husband you likely would have been sexually assaulted or raped, he would have just pushed on past you. A lot of these guys take a woman being friendly or inviting them in as a clear sign they are looking some D whether they are married or not.

    I gave my girlfriend a talk about this on keeping the security latch on when opening the door. She thought I'm a strong independent woman and no man's going to push past me. I gave her a little demonstration. I knocked the door and and as she opened it a fraction to look out I pushed the door right back. Scared the crsp out of her but she understood after that.

    • .. it's also a good sign that your husband can trust you when he's away.

  • “He still had pressure on the door…”

    That’s a major red flag. Why is he so determined to get into your house? You’ve seen the way he looks at you. Why is he looking at you that way? He probably has some fantasy about what would happen if he gets you alone. You’re not being paranoid. One thing a good self-defense course will teach is that if you sense in your gut that a person feels dangerous you need to get away from that person. If such a person gets on the elevator, leave the elevator. Definitely don’t let him into your home. Why risk it?

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 29

  • No I think everything you did is great and as far as my bathroom all the girl use it but any of my guy friends hell no

  • Never let a man in your house, if you are married. It's just bad policy honestly. It opens the door for some any bad things and misunderstanding.

  • not paranoid at all, you can't trust anyone anymore.

  • This is a good thing, to not let people in.

  • paranoid? yes but it's understandable

    when you're afraid of someone/something what are you really suppose to do?

  • Where do you live that delivery men ask to use the bathroom. And people putting pressure on a woman's door will get you shot here, so nobody does that crazy ist.

    • I have two guns my husband gave me but I keep them locked up.

    • Then you have no guns. Bad guy going to listen to you when you go "Oh don't rape me yet, let me go get my gun"?

  • I don't let men or stranger women into my house when alone.

  • If he’s gaslighting you yes. In fact even when your husband is there I wouldn’t let him in. There is other neighbors he can use. If you don’t know him well or trust him it’s probably good you don’t let him in some people are way too trusting.

    Most people when they’re told no they just…. Respect that and move on

  • Not an overreaction. Your husband sounds like a good man.

  • I agree, I feel the same.

  • Now a days not at all.
    Stuff might get stolen or worse.

  • No, I wouldn't let a stranger in my house at all.

  • You are not paranoid.


    You are smart not to trust strangers. Nor are you being rude by declining their request to enter your home.


    Continue to protect yourself by keeping men you do not trust from potentially harming you. No matter how slim that possibility is.

  • Not paranoid at all, you are doing what I would do.

  • Then you have a good husband. Cherrish him for it.

    Tell your friend that next time, whatever risk that she wants to take SHE can take it with HER life, not with yours.
    Everyone will have all kinds of ideas and opinions about whether or not you should take "this" and "that" risk. But at the end of the day "you" are the one that has to live with the consequences.

    One can never be too cautious.

  • No you’re not. Keep doing what you are doing.

  • No, you're not paranoid your being cautious.

  • No, you're not, you're being cautious.

    • You're being cautious but not too cautious.

  • It’s not paranoid. It’s healthy caution. It’s inappropriate for them to even ask.

  • No you're not being paranoid. You're being cautious as you should be.

  • Show More (15)

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