Its weird that its important to a woman. here's why. Imagine the most attractive man possible. He has accomplished things, financially secure, physically attractive, mature enough to really consider a serious relationship... this man cannot be 18 years old. It takes us men time to be this way. However since this man is now desirable to women, he also isn't going to just wait 2, 5, 10 years without sex.
So what men are virgins... well very young ones might be... meaning they won't be mature or financially secure or have had time to accomplish anything have any life experiences. This generally doesn't sound ideal to women.
Alternatively maybe he's not very desirable to women. He is not physically that good looking, has no confidence so he's waited 5 years not because he wanted to but because he had no options. This generally isn't very attractive to women either.
So im not saying a guy who had a bunch of sex is something you should love but what are the alternatives you prefer? Someone very young? Or someone not very desirable? Short of that im not sure you will find a man with very low or no body count. Most women say fuck it and go for the man they want, regardless of the body count.
A lot of good looking men with perfect faces and chiseled bodies here in London in their late 20s and early 30s looking for wives are virgins or have body count 1 or 2. These men have thirsty girls throwing themselves at them but they’re not interested in low quality bimbos. They have the brains to realise their self worth and only want to marry high quality women to start a family with. Perhaps it is a cultural thing too then… this is why boundaries are important. When people have no limits there is no difference between people and animals. A man who sleeps around is no different an animal.
I dont see how thats possible but if so then you have tons of options. I personally never heard of such a thing or met such a man. I've met some like nerdy losers living with mom and some young guys who were very low count. Thats it. Men who are actually very attractive have low or no marriage prospects and also dont want to just never have sex. So the only option is just fuck around.
I think that’s for White men and especially in America. In our culture the decent men have standards.
Body count is proportional to ones decision making and integrity. A large number implies impulsivity and lack of self control, which point to other potential negative habits and makes that person a less desirable relationship candidate. So, in short, no- your approach is reasonable and warranted.
Very well explained.
Agree completely
But why do you need self control when it comes to do sex? As long as it's consensual and it's done safely... What's the issue in doing it a lot?
20 is considered low.
All humans experience a “slut phase” where the hormones in the body demand sex more than they ever will again.
Some people manage to go through this phase without giving in to desires.
Others give in to their desires and go on a sexual adventure.
There’s nothing wrong with either response. Both are vital learning experiences.
However, the majority of people who embraced the slut phase will eventually grow tired of it and begin to seek actual relationships.
My friend has the highest body count of anybody I know.
I once asked him if he regretted it. He said “no, I don’t regret it. I learned a lot about sex, how sex makes people treat you different, how sex can ruin friendships, how to tell if someone wants sex or a relationship. The only reason I feel bad about it is that now that I’m fed up with sex and want a relationship, most women assume I’m a slut and won’t give me a chance.”
In the end, t’s your choice to hold his past against him or not.
I wish I'd been able to experience some of that phase, it unfortunately passed me by entirely, though not for the want of trying.
Speak for yourself. All humans aren’t sluts.
How the fuck is 20 people low? I know I am below average with only 5 people but god damn xD
I think its more of a deal breaker if he had ever engaged or in a long term relationship such as 5-10 years with someone then broke up. Because I want to be the one that my husband loved the deepest / most. I don't want to be with a guy who had fallen head over heels for someone else, dated for 7-10 years then broke it off. If he has fallen deeply for 8 girls throughout his life, I'm just another body on his list. I'm not anything special.
From my experience, guys who have been in very long term relationships tend to have difficulty adapting to dating other females. There were multiple times where I've went out with guys who came out of long term relationships. One of them said that he didn't wasn't used to doing foreplay prior to sex because his ex girlfriend never needed foreplay to get aroused. Another one of them told me that his ex girlfriend had an extremely high sex drive so he was used to having sex almost everyday. He couldn't handle being abstinent for two weeks.
I have to agree with you there. I am a virgin and have had one long relationship of six years (+2 years friendship to start with). I would prefer to marry someone who is also a virgin and who has not had a serious long term relationship. Like basically has never been with anyone because all the boys my age who had girlfriends even for 2 years are damaged goods mentally. They have so much baggage from their first relationship.
@sarahr123 From my experience dating, focus on the quality of the guy. Most important to marital satisfaction is really not virginity. You can be a low-quality guy yet be still a virgin. You can be a great quality guy and not be a virgin. Virginity does not make you a good guy. It doesn't make you less flawed as an individual. Marital satisfaction is based on MOST IMPORTANTLY on: character, maturity, personality, no huge flaws. Many people overlook major flaws during the beginning stages of the relationship until it comes back to haunt you YEARS later
Sahar123... Why on earth would you spend 6 long years with someone without the aquisition of marriage or deflowerment? Searching for a virgin equal is'nt going to happen this far down the line. This at this point contends its self to controlling factors.
Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions
What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Girl, I completely agree with you. I’m surprise at some of the men commenting that body count doesn’t matter because if it was the other way around (a guy asking the girl) , it would matter. I think you should be what you desire. If as a man,
you want a woman that doesn’t have a high body count then you yourself shouldn’t have a high body count. If as a woman you desire a man that is driven and successful, then you should also be driven and successful and not fully rely on looks alone. Don’t desire something that you yourself
are not.
Can I ask you a question
@xboxfan1213 Sure.
Would you dump a great man just because he doesn’t have a huge dick
It would be hypocritical of me to judge another person based on their body count.
I hate that I'm judged because I was neglected, mentally ill & found out at an early age that I could get someone to "care" and show me "affection" if I was willing to spread my legs for them.
My past doesn't define me as an indivual, before the age of 18 - I had lost count on how many I had slept with, for the past 11 years - I've slept with one person, my husband and have no desire to sleep with anyone else.
I had childhood trauma, neglect, grew up in a one parent household who was only interested in her husband’s return than her children’s mental and physical welfare. We were mentally, verbally, physically and sexually abused yet all of us remained virgins by choice. We didn’t go around sleeping around despite suffering from eating disorders, body dysmorphia, depression and borderline personality disorder as a result of our circumstances and biological tendencies. We kept our self respect intact. I expect the same of a romantic partner too. A difficult childhood is not an excuse for promiscuous behaviour. Opening one’s legs doesn’t being love - it gets you used.
I apologize. How I reacted to my trauma as a child makes me inferior to you and your siblings. You are more respectable and a better person than I'll ever be but I'm sorry that your self respect lays within how many you've slept with. My self respect comes from being a good empathetic person, who cares for the indivuals around me & how I conduct myself. & I never said spreading your legs = love. In fact I'm very well aware of the fact that as a child, I was used by adult men and I'm glad that it gives you a reason to feel superior to me. It's the little things for people like yourself. 🙂 None the less, I wish you the best & the best for your future partner.
I'm late to the game, but personally speaking, a body count doesn't phase me much. What I consider is trust and they're clean with no STD/STIs from their endeavours.
In regards to body count being high and trust, what I mean is if any of those encounters involved cheating on an existing (at the time) partner, then they can't be trusted and not a factor in my life.
If they just went through a high sex drive phase or something like that, that's nothing different than someone who did a lot of drugs, or drank a lot or got in trouble with the law here and there.
What our past are, is what made us who we are today, and what matters is who you/they are today.
We all change. I'm not who I was 10 years ago, let alone 20. Neither is anyone.
Openess and trust is what matters. That and I don't get the clap or crabs or whatever.
I agree. But my “high” is if he's been with anything more than a handful aka 5. That disgusts me. I prefer someone who needs a longterm relationship and to be in love before they have sex. I also wants someone who doesn't give away their body so easily
And thats 5 “in total in life” lol
I agree with you. It disgusts me when people can just sleep with anyone and everyone too.
Yes and they act like stds aren't serious because most are curable. Nah thats still nasty. The only part i disagree with is how many people one can date. I've dated many but i didn't need to be physical with each to get to know them. A lot of people assume you need to be physical along the way. Not everyone i dated even got a kiss. It just depends on the level of conmitment or how much we can see a future together
That’s too many! I’ve been with three men, and one of them is my husband. I post some pretty racy opinions on here, but that doesn’t mean I ever felt the need to ride any dick that I came across. Opinions and such on here are kind of fun, but a real relationship is far more serious. Don’t put your health and mind at risk
Sometimes, people make mistakes when they are younger and they learn. They change their attitudes and they change their behavior.
What’s most important to me now is my partner’s attitude about sex. Is it something they just do for fun with whoever comes along or is it something reserved for a committed relationship?
i can usually discern their attitude from other clues and I never ask my partners to tell me their body count. In the last 40 years, I have had 10 partners.
any time you have to say "am i the only one" the answer is just no.
Guys with any form of success will have a high count , its a fact of life he is attractive to others , I dont think that example is high at all , all that is important is what happens from here , both do your medical at the same clinic , get your results , then BANG ! get into it , the past is the past , and his number is simply not that high ---
If I was to date a guy with a high body count I'd be fine with it. As long as he has no STI's and is loyal and can communicate healthily. It may also be great because then he may have more knowledge and experience on what he likes and what his needs are and for someone who doesn't really know or is inexperienced and lacking confidence thus can be a really good thing. Each to their own but I personally am not fussed on body count for others.
Same here. I won’t judge or tell him how to live his life, but I definitely won’t marry or want him to be the father of my kids. Most of the time if they had a lot of fun before marriage, they are not going to change much.
I suppose it depends on who you're attracted to in that case, so many people on both sides complain about the people they are looking to date, either that they ignore them or they sleep around etc. but then ignore the people in their social circle who might want to date them who fit everything else they're looking for, except physical attributes.
I also find it uncomfortable. I am not one for short relationships though as I become emotionally involved and am, as the guys in school use to call me, "frigid" when it comes to anything physically... at least till I'm comfortable with a person
B-O-R-I-N-G
The person you meet and fall in love with today is who they are because of their past.
I would never love a person who slept around that much
You might have already done so before finding out.
When promiscuity makes one who they are now they are the person high quality people should run away from.
Why bother asking? I am surprised many not ugly men would even know. I was married at 22, and I assume I was above thirty by then, and I was a bit promiscuous after my divorce (age 32).
I would never ask that of a woman. I do not want to know. Besides, women love to lie about such things. Women are far more promiscuous on average, it is just that the upper tier of men sleep with thousands of women.
it is best not to ask.
Nope. Dumb manwhores sleep with lots of women.
And I have to ask because I don’t want to marry a manwhore
High body counts leads to higher risk of divorce. You are literally a case in point.
It's a turn off to many guys, not so much to girls, but it's okay if it turn off for you.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NatureAdoresAVirgin
They go hand in hand unfortunately. The more attractive a guy is the more women he will sleep with and as his value increases so does his options.
30 years is a long time. Between 18 and 30 you have 4380 days and sex takes about an hour so if over 4380 days a guy slept with 20 people that's 4360 days he didn't sleep with anyone (assuming none was a long term girlfriend)
All this to say that unless you want a guy that is unattractive or has some kind of mental issue stopping him from having sex you'll have to deal with the body count (same as guys dealing with female body count)
No. That is where you are wrong. All the South Asian men I have known that are very very conventionally beautiful do not sleep around. The 6+ ones especially seem to have very decent body counts and I know they’re not lying because they have no reason to and I spend a substantial amount of time with them. They turn down most women who throw thenselves at them because they’re picky af and don’t just sleep with anyone. A few cheap people sleeping around means nothing. The guy who said his body count is over 20 is short.
All my friends and myself are very good looking. I have Victoria’s Secret measurements and I am a virgin. I won’t let any slimey, sleazy man use me. We have self respect. Sleeping around may be common in your culture but it isn’t in ours.
I'm not sure what culture you think I come from. And I definitely am not telling you to go sleep with sleezy men. My whole point is a high value guy with no mental issues will find himself sleeping with women, he will turn women down sure but if he turns them ALL down then that's no longer being picky that's having issues. My other point is that a high body count does not automatically mean sleazy, I knew a few sleazy virigns in my time and lots of guys who respect women but find themselves in bed with them every now and again. So by all means find yourself the super sexy virgin I'm rooting for you but don't generalize what men are like going by body count alone.
I like if he's been around the block few times cuz 1: he'll know a few tricks and 2: he's more likely to stay and not cheat
Nope. Most people feel the same way you do.
I'm disgusted by high body counts, too. Although where that level should be is pretty subjective and I suppose we have to be at least somewhat flexible.
Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Most Helpful Guys