Am I WRONG for being CONCERNED that my 11 year old Nephew came out as GAY?

[SomeGUYonGAG]

Before I start let me clarify something, I have NO problem with any LGBTQ+ people be any means, if my Nephew really is gay I will accept and love him as much as I always have, I just have a problem with him coming out at 11 years old and before he even hit puberty.

I can tell he hasn't hit puberty yet, his voice isn't cracking, no growth spurt, no facial hair, no nothing. How can he say that he wants to date other boys if his dick hasn't got hard yet.

I know this is just a phase and it might pass (I don't care if it does or not)

But this is my real concern, Is he being influenced? Is it his wretch of a mother (my brother's cunt of an ex)? What is he watching on TV? What is he looking at on the internet and YouTube? I honestly think he's being thought something that a kid his age has no business knowing?
Yet again we're being raised in 2 completely different generations and I can't understand the younglings these days (OMG I sound like my Grandparents).

Please tell me, am I right for being concerned, or am I just trippin. I am completely open to another point of view

[SarahsSummer]

Concerned just means you care and caring is not wrong. While even before puberty many, if not most children know and understand what love is and many who've come out as gay, had a feeling or just "knew" well before they actually came out. With society taking a less hostile approach to "coming out" many children are feeling empowered to do so. My personal beliefs are that at this early age, children can and are be influenced in a variety of ways. We can choose to direct them towards some and away from others or we can allow them to explore these ideas themselves and be open to whatever they may discover. I can't help but think we are all influenced throughout our lives and to some degree these influences are just a fluid internal review of thoughts and feelings which may change over time.
I would "allow" your nephew to come out as gay but support him as he expands on his own feelings whichever direction they may flow.

[Anonymous]

No I’d be a little concerned, I mean I didn’t find out what sex was until I was 12 because relationships and putting a label on my sexuality didn’t matter at that age. He’s still a kid, he shouldn’t be worrying about whether he likes girls or boys (not that I’m against it, you can’t help who you love). I just think it’s a little young to be taken seriously.

[Astarlessnightsky]

I agree he is a little bit too young to know for sure, but you can't manipulate someone into being gay, or the other way around.

Sooo... sooner or later it will become clear what his sexual orientation is, and no one can do anything about it.

One thing you can do is talk to him what he thinks, being gay, means and clarify it. Children don't make a difference between being friends, loving their parents, loving their pets, and sexual attraction. Maybe thats how this came to be, maybe he just has a friend he simply likes playing with.

[CharlieBadger]

Erections occur in the womb. Boys masturbate well before their body produces any sort of emission. And emissions can occur before hair starts growing in other places.

I knew I was bisexual by age 11 easily.

Should you be concerned, yes in your nephews health and safety. That he's gay? Not so much.

[Tyme1313]

So, regarding puberty, he may well already be in puberty, and at 11 likely is, and show no signs you can tell. I actually started puberty at 8, for years my only outward sign of development was pubic hair and genital growth, along with the ability to become erect and producing semen. Which are all things that can develop with boys you may well have no idea about. I didn't actually have my first real growth spurt until I was nearly 12. So, he could just be developing in ways other than the common outward signs you'd see everyday. It also depends on ethnicity, most studies have shown males of Hispanic and African heritage tend to have higher testosterone levels and tend to start puberty in the age range of 8 - 10, rather than the range on 11 - 13 that is listed as the average (I'm Hispanic).

Now, actually all studies have shown sexuality is entirely psychological. Now that isn't to say mental illness. Psychologically related things have 3 aspects in common, they have; genetic components, biological components (abnormalities), and environmental components. So, yes, things around him would have an effect on his sexuality. He may have the genetic and biological components, and simply have been lacking the environmental components leading to homosexuality. There is also the possibility he has the genetic, and environmental components, yet lack and biological abnormalities. The basis in psychology is not all three are needed in equal quantities, as sexuality is polygenic so many genes affect it.

For example, you can have some boys with only one or two genes active, which would mean they would need more from the other two components. In other words there would be a more drastic biological abnormality, or extreme environmental factors to make him homosexual. Where as other boys may have six genes active, so the amount a biological or environmental factors necessary are lessened. The interesting thing is the ape we are closest genetically related to is the Bonobo ape, which is an entirely bisexual species. So the basic theory in psychology is we are very fluid in our sexuality on into our 30's. As the 30's is when your brain becomes fully developed and personality becomes permanent.

One way you can tell is if he is left handed or ambidextrous. Statistically about 10% of the straight population is either left handed or ambidextrous. Where as 50%+ of the gay and bisexual population is left handed or ambidextrous. Its something that has been shown to correlate with our sexuality, odd isn't it.

So, theoretically, yes it may be a phase, or it could be certain environmental factors. If it is the later, you can alter the environmental factors in an attempt to correct it. This isn't to say conversion therapy, as torture won't work. But, if he is watching a lot of things involving LGBT, or has started sneaking to watch porn and its gay porn, you can control this and possibly have an effect. Though its extremely hard to control environmental factors as you aren't with him 24/7. He could be experimenting with another boy from school. That is an environmental factor you won't be able to control, as even controlling for the others, such a factor would be the primary cause.

[wankiam]

he is 11... he is not gay though thats not to say he doesn't identify as gay... either way i dont think it matters really. im sure he is still the same irritating little kid under it all.

[goaded]

Are you really a male? You think boys don't get erections?

You're concerned about the wrong things. There doesn't have to be anything sexual about it, for a start, maybe he just loves other boys. Everybody's being influenced by everything, but being aware of possibilities doesn't make you more likely to change, just less likely to feel left out or "wrong". This is a good thing.

[pigoat]

Yeah man gay people are weird

[Laozi]

Why don't you talk to him. Ask him how he's so sure about his sexuality.

[SomeGUYonGAG]

I've thought about it but I don't think I'm the right person because I've never had sex, or had a girlfriend or even been on a date before. So I don't know what I could do.

[Laozi]

Is he close to you? If yes then it's not a big deal. Just ask him. If not then find another member of the family who is close to him. And tell them to ask him about it.

[SoMuchNut]

You don't have to hit puberty to feel attraction to another person.
Heterosexuality and homosexuality are not just about the physical act of sex.

[AngelLily]

It's definitely alright to be concerned.

[Browneye57]

Tell us he has a dad. No? That's what we thought.

[SomeGUYonGAG]

His father is my brother and yes he's active in his life, or at least he tried to be. My Nephew's mother abuses the custody court system and lies about my brother in order to take his son away from him. Now my brother only really gets to see m\his son about a week out of the month.

[Browneye57]

And there ya go. He's being raised as a girl. Do you know boys are expected to act just little girls in school? And when they don't they drug them? We have an epidemic of this - the kid isn't gay, he's brainwashed.

[SomeGUYonGAG]

Yes, that happened to me. I think I talked about it on one of your questions, now that I remember.

[genericname85]

I don't think sexuality is a choice or a learned behavior. It's inherent to the individual biologically.

[Thatsamazing]

Are the CAPITAL LETTERS really NECESSARY?

And as you already pointed out, he hasn't even hit puberty yet so it doesn't really matter one way or the other. There's nothing to be concerned about.

[bangyourhead]

You're completely right to be concerned. Shoving children into deviant lifestyles is child abuse.

[Dchrls78104]

Exactly.

[Twalli]

You should be concerned because of how difficult his life will be. You should not be concerned about his homosexuality. He will have a lot of trouble in life after coming out. It will not be easy. Make sure he knows you are there for him and will never stop loving him. You will always be there for him. He will need the love and support of everyone he can, even if he doesn't right now.

[Twalli]

Oh and hmguys get boners even when young, we just don't get sexually turned on, so they're extremely uncommon.

[Surely]

You are right for being concerned.
Also make sure he isn't being taken advantage of by other boys or men.

[Exorcist_Rampage]

You're not wrong for being concerned. I'd be super angry too. I prefer my children to have sexual lives when they get older where the potential for fruitful sex is a possibility.