I came across a few 'Slut Shaming' posts by women blabbing about how men slut shame women who sleep around on GaG.
I also saw majority of Men and at least half of Women here having extreme views about promiscuity.
There are few Men here called 'White Knights' who will defend women manipulation, deceiving, promiscuity and agree with women . Everyone can voice their opinions, we live in a free country after all.
If we analyse, who are these 'white knights' ?
These 'White Knights' are usually men who are above 35 years of age, or who are already married or who are desperately waiting for any warm body that they can settle with.
If you ask a guy less than 35 years of age and who is looking for a woman to marry and not to just have some casual sex , 90% of guys like these will want to marry a woman with no or very few amount of past sexual partners. (Even if the those guys have slept around, they still want a 'pure' woman. Hypocracy , which I don't agree).
What do Men and Women lose if they have Casual Sex?
Loss to Men: A committed relationship? Maybe.
A good reputation? Yes, men can jeopardise their future potential to have a high value mate through perpetual promiscuity (See the book social Psychology and Human Sexuality, 2001).
But more importantly – what, on a reproductive/biological level, do men sacrifice?
Quality.
They sacrifice quality.
And that’s quality of the women. Many men who sleep around don’t mind this; all they are looking for is novelty in experience anyway. Almost any willing woman will do.
It’s still a sacrifice – in terms of a relationship and in terms of a reputation for the purposes of having a relationship with a high value woman though.
Of course, the ACT of sex carries with it very little sacrifice for a man. In fact, it’s all gain to the male limbic system. Get in and get out – hopefully. Unless she stalks him.
But quality is still the sacrifice for a promiscuous man – and that’s why men will try to get the highest value woman they can for a relationship – and have low standards for casual sex.
Women might be attracted to promiscuous men and have sex with them. But the kind of man who is being promiscuous is not generally having sex with 10 women who are rated 10s every week.
The more a man is eagerly looking to sleep around, the lower quality women (low mate value) he has to settle for in that act.
Another way we can think about it is – it is generally assumed among the male community that high reproductive value women are extremely hard to ‘hook up with’, in COMPARISON to lower mate value women.
Loss to Women : And what do WOMEN potentially sacrifice, if they sleep with a man quickly (as in, before enough attraction has been built up)?
According to scientific research reported in the book ‘Social Psychology and Human Sexuality’ – women potentially sacrifice their reputation, and risk being viewed as having lower mate quality.
Of course, we don’t live in tribes of 100-200 or more any longer. So, reputation damage isn’t as real a threat to females as it may have been many years ago.
Women in one country can fly across the world and sleep with many men, and then fly home and not risk any damage to their reputation, don’t you think?
Why Men are not Slut shamed but Women are?
Shaming of immoral, unmanly, or unfeminine behavior is a necessary component of a stable society. A world that says you can’t judge people for behaving like losers or failures is one that will inevitably regress to the lowest common denominator. It’s the world we happen to live in, where kids are given participation trophies no matter how badly they suck at the game and where an old fart deep in his dotage is called “courageous” for cross-dressing and calling himself “Caitlyn.”
Additionally, if you feel shamed over something, it’s an indicator that whatever you’re being shamed for is something you hate about yourself and want to change. For example, while a devout Christian may retain his virginity until he gets married, because he’s choosing to save himself for a higher cause, attempting to shame him for not having sex wouldn’t work.
While nobody can force you to live your life a certain way, you can’t sit in your basement all day twiddling your fleshy bits to hentai and expect the same measure of respect as a manwho actually accomplishes something real. Yet much in the same way that fat girls demand to be given the same deference as skinny ones, loser men in the manosphere—and moral degenerates who steal other men’s wives—demand to be treated the same as men of virtue.
The reality is that if you’re being shamed, you probably deserve it. If you’re unwilling to own the consequences of your behavior, you need to change the way you act. In other words, if you’re sick of being shamed, you should stop acting shamefully. Demanding that the rest of the world change to accommodate your failures makes you no different than a spiky-haired Tumblrina crying about how she was born with the soul of a naked mole rat and why won’t you accept her for who she is, you cishetwhitemale asshole?
At the end of the day, choices have consequences. You’re free to carve out whatever life you see fit, but I’m also free to mock you for it if your life choices are stupid. “Shaming language” is just an attempt to de-legitimize any criticism of anyone who chooses mediocrity over greatness, failure over success.
The only Valid point I agree with women is that Men who sleep around should be just as much shamed as women who sleep around and not to be seen as heroes because they could seduce few confused women who were out in the bar to explore their sexuality and want to compete with men dominated society and end up being used and later turn bitter towards men by becoming hardcore Feminists.
Please Blame Nature not Men for your Design,
Men didn't make you this Way.
Ladies, I want you to talk to the big man upstairs (God) and complain him why he made you this way. Men are not at fault if God designed you in such a way that after enjoying sex for 1 night you will knocked up with a kid and will have bear the consequence for 9 months.
Why women are more 'Vulnerable' to Judgement than Men
As I said earlier talk to God why he discriminately designed Men and Women.
Talk to God why men want 'Loyal' women.
Talk to God why women want 'confident' men.
Its in nature of Men to seek out a 'Loyal' woman and that's why most guys 'Judge' a woman so that they can weed out promiscuous women.
So women are more vulnerable to criticism, here's why -
1) Once women do something, regardless of whether they don’t EVER tell anyone they did it – their neurology has experienced it and something internally still DROVE them to make these choices.
And if they mainly practice unattached sex, because they are avoiding the deeper parts of themselves that truly want to surrender in trust to a trustworthy man – their body can, over time, train to send messages to men that they are ‘the one of many’ rather than the ‘one and only’.
And all men naturally categorise the women they meet in to one of these categories – based on how the woman shows up.
As we know, what we practice persists.
Women's body language doesn’t lie.
High value men looking to devote themselves will be able to read what a woman is all about through their body faster than they even get the opportunity to verbally tell them anything about themselves.
I know it kinda sucks to hear it – but no matter how ‘UN-easy’ Women feel inside, because they would turn down most men…what their bodies practice becomes the energy they send out.
2. MEN talk to each other when they get sex easily. (ground breaking information there!)
I theorise that men do this gossiping about easy sex to warn each other (their own sex), just like women gossip about ‘jerks’ who make bad or abusive boyfriends – men spread pictures, videos, and gossip about women they have casually slept with.
This is possibly because on a primal level, in our tribal days – this information was CRUCIAL to the future reproductive safety of all men – why?
Because it warns other men not to invest their resources in the women they have gossiped about, since paternity cannot be determined.
(Paternity – meaning no one really knows who the father of the child is, since the woman hasn’t established trust and commitment with one steady guy, or doesn’t seem to have).
If human males were chimpanzees though, they’d all crowd around and take care of the baby – even if 10 of them had sex with the same lady chimp, because there’s always a CHANCE that the baby is theirs.
Although, male chimps have measly fathering skills compared to human males – and that’s partly why they need to ALL invest a bit of paternal energy.
So, just as women in a certain context, protect each other from low value mates of the opposite sex, men do the same in their own way.
Paternity is serious business.
For a man, incredible humiliation and “life-destroying” (to use a real man’s words) emotions can be felt surrounding the possibility that he might have invested time, money, effort and resources in to – gasp – ANOTHER man’s offspring.
In fact, I’ve noticed a scary phenomenon.
Men tend to get more insensitive to the women who have sex because she doesn’t know what else value to add.
In other words, some men become more disrespectful and insensitive towards the women that they get easy sex from.
3) Women sacrifice their true nature for casual sex, sometimes.
What I mean is – women are not biologically inclined to have sex with men that they don’t trust.
If women are having sex with men that they are HIGHLY attracted to – ie; a man who DOES show up as capable and trustworthy, then the danger might be that she really DOES love him and want a commitment. But, by then, he could have categorised her as ‘one of many’, depending on how she’s showed up.
If she’s had sex EARLY – but she’s showed up as his one and only’, then there’s no problem for the woman – the deal is already sealed.
But if a woman has not done that – then…she could really find herself hurt – and based on the reason that she wasn’t attuned to where the man was at, and how he really FELT about her – whether he truly had any feelings or good intentions for her or not.
There should be an equal Footing.
I am not a 'White Knight' but I support women that Men should be as harshly judged and looked down upon in society if they sleep around.
'Slut' should be used for Men as well.
But if women are sleeping around just to score equal points with men, then that's wrong.
Two wrongs doesn't make a right and eventually its a loss to women till society doesn't learn to slut shame men as well.
So don't worry ladies. Be strong, Be healthy, Be fit.
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