Any advice on how to mention bringing lube into your sex-life without offending the guy?

I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. He was my first everything, including sexual partner. Ever since we first started having sex, it's been painful. I thought maybe it was just because I was new to it but it's barely gotten any better since.

I think the main issue is that I just don't seem to get "prepared" enough, no matter what. I'm on antidepressants, which I know can have an impact on that, and I was diagnosed with endometriosis a few months ago, which also explains the added pain. The pain isn't excruciating or anything, more so uncomfortable and it leaves me sore. It hurts the most when he's putting it in - sometimes he can barely even do that. It's usually alright after that, although I do sometimes spot afterward.

It doesn't help that he's on the larger side and that we both prefer it a bit rougher. We've tried it gentler too, of course, but that doesn't make a difference. The thing is, I like having sex. I just feel like it could be a little better if this thing wasn't bogging me down.

He's mentioned lube once before in the beginning of our relationship, which I hadn't even thought of. I kinda blew it off, thinking that it was just because it was still pretty new to me and that I'd get over it, but now I'd like to maybe try bringing it in. I'm just afraid of potentially offending him and making him think that he just doesn't "do it" for me. I don't think he would get upset or anything, just that I'd maybe make him sad or something.

I'm not really sure how one would bring that into the situation without it ruining the heat of the moment, either. If it comes down to ruining our sex-life or continuing to deal with the little bit of pain, I'd prefer the latter. Who knows, it might improve it for him too, though.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Superb Opinion

  • I think in this case, you'd be okay just bringing up honestly- you've got some medical issues, and because of them, sex is leaving you sore, and not in a good way. You think lube would help, and you'd like to know if he'd be willing to try it. He probably doesn't MEAN to be hurting you (unintentionally, that is), and isn't likely to see it as a personal failing when it's a medical issue.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't need to mention it! Just buy it, but maybe did you try asking him for "different approach" to your body? Maybe you can lube yourself and you won't know, or didn't found the "trigger point"...🤔
    I had a situation when no matter what i was doing she wouldn't lube... then later a found 2 good spots one was behind the ear and second, bitting the clit (gently)... you don't want to know how all "that" practice ended up...😈🤣🤣💦💦💦💦

Most Helpful Girls

  • How about starting with a slippery oil based massage and you both discover that a little lubrication makes it even better. Then say we can just lube the important bits…

  • Would he even notice if you applied it in advanced? Tell him you want it for your own comfort, if asked. He might like it himself and not even say anything.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 17
  • Break it out and use it. He’s not going to care as long as destination is reached. You don’t know priority for MSN yet?

    • Hurt Feelings is your department, can’t hit landing strip for some woman issue is what hurts us. C’mon now… ❓ 25. ❓ 😎😎😎😎😎

  • Any advice on how to mention bringing lube into your sex-life without offending the guy?

    Just say, "I'd be more comfortable with lube."

    That is the beginning and the end. No guy is going to refuse to use lube.

  • Present it as something you want to try to compensate for YOUR physical problem caused by antidepressants and endometriosis. Just stress it as a result of your physical problems.

  • Oh, hey... lube just makes things more fun for one or both, and you both win!

  • Why the fuck would you wait two years to bring it up? Go to the store and buy the lube. Compliment his size, smear it on his dick

  • Just keep it on your nightstand and apply it before you have sex.

  • Tell him you'd like to try it because your medication and health issue (s). It's probably best that you mention it when it's not the heat of the moment. A good time would be the next time you're in a store like Walmart together and you see it on the shelves. Please feel free to PM if you wish.

  • Why would that ever offend a guy? "Hey babe, I bought some lube for us to try. I want you to go to town on me."

  • gonna be blunt with this1. if i were him i would be offended, that you had/have not said something sooner about this issue. as far asif he will be offended by using lube, read what you already said "he offeredto use lube before".

  • I seriously doubt he will be the least bit offended. He wants a good experience as well and lube helps. Buy some and put it by the night stand, give him a big deep kiss and tell him you bought something that help both of you. He will be fine with it.

  • After two years and you can’t talk about that what’s the problem? just tell him you need a little bit of grease to get started LOL

  • He shouldn’t be offended by that. Just tell him you what lube.

  • Just tell him that you don't feel that you're getting wet enough to fully enjoy the sex, so you want to try lube to see if that makes it better.

  • I'm not sure why he would be offended. Just tell him it feels better with lube.

  • I don't think you'll find any way to bring it up without offending him. Think about what you're trying to introduce. ITS INSULTING TO A MAN

  • Squirter some in your hand and give him a hand job to start

  • Lube away baby

  • This is a no-brainer, just do it.