Any ideas on how to be more sexual with boyfriend?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 6 years. Lately we’ve been talking marriage for about 2. He finally told me he’s afraid that we will get boring. He’s asked me to spice things up with him. We have, but he says we’ve fallen back into a routine. He says I don’t send him dirty texts or say dirty things during the day to make him long for me all day. What can I do? He’s worth it and I want to please him. He pleases me, I’d like to keep things fresh like he asks.

RoseySarah · Accepted Answer

This is hard and really his love language is different then yours which is also tough!

Married now almost 2 years still learning ourselves.

For us naughty pics or dirty texts don't work. We erp together writing a story! Seeing where it goes.

We snuggle and say cute and sexy things teasing.

He got me fuzzy handcuffs which gets dusty from non use.

Often the best is our favorites which do seem boring but we love those. Trying new things we always come back to them

So understand him being worth it! Hoping he is and your okay with it all.

What things does he want exactly 🧐. Really we tease but not thought-out the day!

Maybe few hours before if we can. We more talk sweetly! Lovingly then just dirty!

We both enjoy our intimacy and talk more I want you then just dirty lusty!

Maybe try switching it up in bed! You being on top sitting on him just kving it yourself!

So hoping he makes you happy in bed what do you want?

CrypticMoon · Accepted Answer

Ask him exactly what he wants since this is his problem. Does he want to role-playing? Bring toys into the relationship? Try different dynamics like dom and sub? Have sex in public places? Swap partners or do 3 ways? Blindfold him? Wear sexy lingerie? Try different positions?

You can't give him what he wants if he doesn't specify what exactly will fulfill his needs beyond a dirty text every now and again (which I personally find hard to do because I feel nothing from sexting. The anxiety about what to say kills it for me) Definitely ask him to be specific so you know what direction to take.

HippoDino · Accepted Answer

Have you asked him if there's any fetish he has you are not aware of? It sounds like he wants to do a bit kore than vanilla sex but might be a bit embarrassed to bring it up. If he just thinks things will get boring because of low sex drive, maybe you could get in the habit of sending him pictures even if you aren't turned on at the time, im sure he would enjoy it and it wouldn't be too hard for you to judt snap a quick pic.

GoodEnoughThen · Accepted Answer

I would continue discussimg, perhaps seek couples counseling/sex therapiat. What if he gets bored with what your most recent or next attempts to spice things up? He needs to keep his expectations real as well. Little unfair to put it ll on you to fix his problem.

chrissykerdock · Answer

sounds like he'd like fellatio that always helps a relationship

Angxl3120 · Answer

Keep going with the flow, according to your moods, welcome him back home with some lingeries or something, drinks would make it better if you both drink, try foreplays.

Just dont try something really different like something really different, keep things flowing (personal opinion)

lightbulb27 · Answer

well, he's really thoroughly "trying before buying"...6yrs and he wants you to up your game... commitment issues ya think? no comment on the question.

boggboss · Answer

He has told u what he wants not sure what u need to ask send him dirty texts maybe some nudes lol

Dargil · Answer

There are creative things that can be done with toys and to body parts. Some may appear  Ewww  on the surface but can get surprising results. The internet can give you suggestions on how to play.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

This is just another reason I'm glad I'm easily pleased in that department. A woman could do the same exact sexual things with me every day forever, and I'd be very happily content with it, and actually find the familiarity of the routine comforting, instead of boring...

I'll never understand people who need to "spice things up".

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Pull his pants down without saying a word and start sucking his dick.

DiegoO · Answer

🤔I think you both should push further. After many years do you share the same goals? If you do, why not try new things? Go to new places—restaurants, shops, different travel destinations, etc.

hbkfan · Answer

Have you tried roleplaying to spice things up

jahaims · Answer

He literally told you what he wants. Just do those things.

Worst · Answer

Try having sex with him

Longshank · Answer

Plenty and I class myself as an expert! Give me a follow I’ll hook you up 👌🏻

Alex8736 · Answer

Get kinky

renodnol32 · Answer

Try surprising him. Talk about new things. Try new toys and kinks. Also, try more romantic settings because it can lead to newer and fresher things. Thing of other firsts you both haven't done together yet.