Sexual Relationships
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Guys, are more confident guys (and/or guys with bigger cocks) into rough sex?

I slept with this guy who is really confident (some say arrogant) and he was into some really rough and kinky stuff. He has a reputation around my university for having a really big dick, a few different girls had mentioned it before, and the other night I was at a party and he was hitting on me. He's pretty good looking and was funny and we made out at the party and then went back to his place. It started normal enough (but really good), we made out and went down on each other (he was really good on me) and I struggled with his size, I would say about 10 inches, definitely my biggest I've seen. Like a porn dick. Then we got onto the sex. He took out this bag and he had all these things. A ball gag, handcuffs, a whip, a blindfold, other sex toys, even rope. He took complete control and was using almost all of them on me, and it was incredible. He was way bigger than anything I had before but I was so turned on that it didn't hurt too much. I was never with someone so kinky and I loved it. After, he untied me and we made out and he used his fingers really well and was really sweet. Is it normal for guys with bigger dicks to be so rough and kinky, or for really confident guys to be like that? It was a great experience and one I want to try again!

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AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • I would say that there's a correlation between penis size and confidence (it's certainly easier to be confident if you're bigger), but like anything else in life, there's no guarantee of this. There are certainly smaller guys who have tons of confidence, and bigger guys who have none or very little. But just as a beautiful woman with a hot body is going to find it easier to be confident in her appearance, a guy with a bigger dick will find it easier to be confident.

    Kinky is largely unrelated, or at least, much less related, to confidence, however.

Most Helpful Guy

  • There is no data, so no one can tell you but it seems unlikely to me.

    A good comparrison for sex is food and if you were to say 'Do guys with big dicks like pasta more than other guys?' it would more obviously be wrong.

    But without data its impossible to say either way, maybe there is some connection but it clearly isn't going to be an absolute so even if we assumed for a moment that there was such a link you would still be into a case of what sort of percentages have this correlation.

    And of course correlation isn't causation anyway so the long and the short of it is; if you like this sort of sex then date people who also like this sort of sex, there websites for it and in real life you can talk about it, just as you would anything else to assess compatibility.

    • But pasta and dick size are separate, whereas kinkyness and dick size do have much more connection

    • Only inside your mind because you decided that they do. It doesn't mean anything.

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What Guys Said

(16)

  • Confidence in the bedroom does not correlate with penis size. You may find another with the same skill set that is “normal”. Check for STDs….

    • I thought it might because he seemed really pleased about his size

    • Perhaps for him 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • It's not dick size alone but the whole pack of fitting the criteria of hegemonic masculinity. Many guys with a big one develop the "big dick syndrome" meaning they're super bad because they think being big is enough and have no skill. Many confident extroverted guys are either switches confident in both roles but quite often struggling to not be fetishized as only playing the masculine dominant role, and others are closet submissives because of insecurity and not knowing how to be differently that what society tells them they were and that worked to get laid until then, until they realized their own desires.

    Also real confidence as a sadist requires often self-experimenting, test what you dish on yourself or get it done to you to be at your sub's place and learn, now it's okay not to be masochistic at all and not want that, but at least it takes confidence being around other forms of non-hegemonic relationships, aka if queer relationships and female domination makes him cringe or he'd feel intimidated by any dominant girl or merely one that's taller than him, loves positions on top etc... > insecure, compensating, yellow to red flag.

    On the other size, small guys can be super confident and dominant, learn oral skills and that penetration is shit for most women, a good part of them still turns sub and eroticizes humiliation to cope with the social stigma and traumatic experiences with normie girls that rejected them or got weird after seeing, or it created a whole spiral of low self-esteem, same can be said about every characteristic that's socially emasculating in the gender binary: me being sub is totally linked to fitting the virgin nerd introvert wallflower archetype as of growing up BUT later in life you grow up and the sexual role that was socially imposed on you is no more, now I'm a sub by choice, could picture myself dom, am confident etc... (sadly many straight subs haven't reached that place yet).

    In a nutshell
    > Your sub/dom role is mainly influenced by the patriarchy so yes, at base level, manly, confidant and dominant go hand in hand, big is a bonus criteria.
    > Don't fetishize this link outside of your sub fantasies, for many masculine confident men, this role is a prison that they wish they could escape secretly or just not always be expected to play.
    > Some are subby af and many switch
    > If you're exploring as a sub thanks to that great experience, beware of pseudo-doms who turn out to be predators or insecure creeps that refuse to take their issues in hand and cope unhealthily, under that guise or being big, assertive, manly etc... they will prey on naive young subs that start exploring.

  • Unrelated. People of all sizes are kinky or not.

  • Has nothing to do with size, just personality. If someone is really big and cares for their partner, it just requires prep work if you want to go rough.

    It's more about the compatibility, find out what works in the pairing, and work within the roughness levels that both enjoy.

  • Most guys aren't going to pull out all the stops on their freaky side right away, but a confident lover will definitely want to take care of his partners.

    • Yeah it was surprising that he went for it on our first time together

    • Most people who are into that kind of thing would know better then to do that during the first sexual encounter. So I honestly have a tough time blieving that the story is real.

  • So I guess size does matter, huh. 🙄 I just wish more women would admit this.

  • Him having that reputation has unfortunately led to girls asking him to become more kinky. It’s a cycle and leads to confidence as well.

    • Why is it unfortunate?

    • Because we end up having to reject some girls and that sucks. Having a rep like that isn’t great.

    • I don't know, we (women) have to turn down guys a lot

    • Show All

  • Well I and pretty confident and have above average size ( 8 inches) but I consider myself being submissive and being the one tied up to the bed, gag me with her soaking wet panties, blindfolded, and just have her way with me however I do think confident guys with big dicks are probably more dominant and into rough sex.

  • I don’t read this, but you need a big dick to be rough in my opinion. I’ve been told I’m big many times, but I really think I’m average…. When girls like it hard af it’s kinda hard to pull out enough to slam her hard without it coming out and not going back in. I don't know. I haven’t been with many rough sex girls but I have, and I feel like I’d be better if I had a longer dick. But at the same time, I’ve been told I can’t put it in all the way because it’s hurting them… so maybe I’m just not good at it. I don’t like girls that like ti be slammed super hard because I feel I’m bad at it. Lol.

  • Rather the opposite.
    Guys who are bigger tend to hurt girls when they get rough.
    Hint: if you haven't had a bruised cervix, you haven't had it deep or rough.

  • Show more from Guys (6)

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