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Are there guys who prefer an emotional bond over a sexual one (read details)?

I've been trying to explore my sexuality more in the last year and have tried to make guys my priority during this time. I've never been with one before and I'm nowhere near ready to either. I'm just trying to form an emotional bond with a guy first and see if I can develop feelings that way but it seems they all just want sex in some way either written or physical from the beginning. Am I doomed to fail with my approach?
1 6

Most Helpful Girls

  • Nope, not at all doomed Bri. I absolutely, unequivocally have to have an emotional bond before I get into the intimate part of a relationship. That is a two way street. If he doesn't have that same emotional connection that I do, it is quite obvious.

    I think that is the most important thing before being intimate with anyone really. This is coming from someone that doesn't do one night stands or hookups, so this is purely based on my own feelings.

    When I got together with my SO, it was some time before we were intimate. I will say that our bond formed quicker than I expected, but then again, look where I am at currently and it is easy to see why it did.

    So, while we do have that intimate bond, it was born out of our emotional bond. He never pressured me or made me feel like there was lost interest because there was no sex for a period of time. In fact, I was the one that had to initiate it. He was just being a gentleman.

    So, there are guys out there that will allow that emotional connection to form first. It is just a matter of finding those that have the patience and respect to let that happen and not pressure you (or any girl) into it because they think they "owe" it to them just because they are together.

    • ❤ thank you so much for this. It really gives me hope. It also just further illustrates how great of a guy your fiance is!

    • Of course!! Yeah, don't lose hope at all. They are out there to be sure, and thanks. He is a great guy. 🙂

    • Thanks for the MHO 🙂

  • Well yeah. I got decent amount of male friends i met through basketball over the years

Most Helpful Guys

  • four girlfriends, and two people I dated... so that's six times in which I never ever went after sex, never rushed into sexual territory... in fact, I never "initiated" with the ideas of it either lol

    like I always say... I'm not after your body, lol... I'll be after your soul and mind first and foremost and that's what I truly do

    intimacy has always been a direct result of the emotional bonds become THAT intense after some weeks, in case months... and it was always something they wanted and needed and had the desire for, I mean... of course I loved the idea too, but I always "let them" be the ones to decide for themselves when are they really ready for it and actually wanting it to be that way

    funny thing... more than one of them mentioned something like "why did you WAIT so long!!" lmfao, I didn't wait on purpose... lol

    • Yeah thats what I'm definitely looking for. Someone who will be patient and understand it may never happen but that doesn't mean I can't do the whole love thing. I'm pretty certain I can love men the way I do women. Sex is just a whole other beast and when they rush me it just takes me out of it and I lose interest.

    • well, that is the tricky part... the uncertainty of it if you are not certain yourself... about you being able or not able to go into that level of intimacy, then, there will be no way for them to be certain about it either... and this is probably what causes them conflict, confusion, second thoughts and all that not so many people are willing to deal with uncertainty because it is difficult... I've been in a similar situation before but in our case, she was very certain that she did not want to rush into sex because she was not feeling ready for that, at all... so she was very clear with me right away, it is just not going to happen any time soon, or not all... so it is up to you if you think you could still want something with me if that is the situation, so to me... it was a good ground to make a decision, because the terms were clear rather than uncertain if she had told me "well, I don't know, I am not sure about when or what" if she had multiple doubts about a few things, then I would have to consider a lot more things to decide with her so, it is a tricky situation here... it is difficult, but, it is not impossible either... there's is plenty and many of understanding and patient people out there, it just takes some time to find them

    • Thank you. I'll keep on looking and hoping to avoid the landmines of guys who just want to sext or have sex so soon. It just isn't my thing right now.

  • Almost twenty seven will be end of this month. I've had sex 1 time and honestly it ruined it for me. I dont even understand how prostitutes can charge hundreds and still get business id rather spend 100 dollars on pot than 40 bucks for a bang. Personally at this point my sex drive is more of an inconvenience than anything. However when it comes to an emotional bond im lonely as all hell. Tbh id live in a sexless marrige as long as i came home to a loving girlfriend or wife to hold in my arms in my sleep who cares about me and genuinely loved me back. Its the lack of love that hurts me the most, i couldnt really give less of a fuck about sex, i just want love, real love.

    • Same though. I have no real interest in sex, guy or girl. I mostly just want to form an emotional bond with someone and be in love. I can totally do the full girlfriend experience aside from sex, but I realize that for most people that won't be enough. Sorry to hear about your bad experiences though 😔 I hope things improve for you in the near future.

    • Thanks

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 20

  • I've been trying to explore my sexuality more, then u complain that all they want is sex? 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤔

    Kinda YOU answered and put ur question AT THE SAME TIME! 🤔

    • I've only been interested in girls my whole life. I'm in a poly marriage with my wife and now I wanted to explore if I could ever be interested in a guy. I'm not ready for sex with guys, I just want to see if I can develop feelings for a guy enough to want to have sex. I could fall in love with a guy and maybe never want to have sex with him or maybe I fall in love and give it a try. Make more sense now?

    • Makes more sense now 😉 Brilliant! 👍

  • 43 and still not ready? yea guys tend to be more sexual, while girls tend to be more emotional.

  • Not at all. I am the kind of guy who wants to emotionally connect with a woman. And yes, I want to bond before having sex.

  • i am emotinal

  • I believe you must have an emotional bond BEFORE you can have a sexual bond.

  • Yes, emotional bonding (which comes from moral compatibility) matters more, but most women are not compatible morally and are unfit for a LTR in my experience. From what I have seen, the majority of women focus on sex much more than emotions, that is why so many of them have participated in casual sex.

  • MY PRESENT LADY FRIEND, AND I DO NOT HAVE A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP, ALTHOUGH I DID GO DOWN ON HER ON NEW YEARS EVE. WE DO HAVE A BOND, WHICH I WOLD DESCRIBE AS EMOTIONAL

  • I probably have my doubts I always wanted an emotional connection with someone before having sex . I have been told by many that I am not a typical guy . Guys today have different expectations

    • Well good thing I'm older and can still try for those one who have the same values as yourself when it comes to connections lol

    • Same.

  • No you are doing everything as it should be done. They are just dumb enough to understand the real meaning of relationship. They are not mature enough to develop emotional feelings rather than acting out on their sexual frustration. You are not doing anything wrong.

    • Good advice right here.

  • Lots of men will want to form an emotional bond with you. The biggest mistake women make in dating is that they don’t give men anything to bond with; they don’t talk about themselves, so the only thing the man can connect with is their physical beauty.

  • I guess?

  • Maybe pansexual type

  • I want both to be honest

  • I prefer to get some sexual interest right away because then I know she's not going to be frigid later on and I know she's genuinely interested in me. Nothing says genuine interest like a wet pussy.

  • Guys are wired to get as much as often as possible from as many as possible.
    Gals are wired to get as much as they want from only those they want to get it from.

    Guys = physical
    Gals = emotional.

  • A lot of guys want sex early. I don't. I will wait up to 2 years for sex, but depending on whether or not the girl is a virgin we'll wait a minimum of 3 or 6 months (6 for virgins). I will tell her when I am ready and then she can decide any time after that point if she wants to have sex. Once I'm ready, it is her decision when we have sex (within 2 years). I won't be ready for sex until I feeh that we have a strong emotional relationship. I would prefer to see the girl naked before the time we have sex and get comfortable being naked with each other, but that's negociable. Sex is important in any relatioship I am, but I see it as something to build off an already strong foundation rather than the foundation itself. I imagine I am not alone in this, but I don't know if guys who are looking to get married sooner rather than later (close to your own age) are as willing to wait.

    • The age thing does make sense I suppose although I'm not opposed to talking to guys younger than me. That's interesting on the time frames you have set and the patience you exhibit on it. I wonder if other guys have something similar to those ranges.

    • It's not really patience. It's just wnat I look for in relationships. I would wait 6 months ovreall, but sex feels good and I can't fool nonvirgins into not beliving it feels as good as it does. Virgins don't know better.

  • Most men want a deep emotional bond with a woman, but women are the ones (mostly) gaming hookup culture.

    • Hasn't been my experience really. Not saying it never happens, but since I started looking at guys it's always them that start off the sexual talk right away.

  • I doubt it

  • I prefer both with the same person. It isn't unreasonable to want an emotional bond before a sexual one. That used to be the norm.

    • It's been a while. Good to see you.

  • Of course, I can't really advance to the second o e without the first one, it is impossible for me actually I need a deep and strong emotional bond to even consider anything sexual

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