Are Tinder Women "Damaged"?

I've been on Tinder for about a month. I am not really looking for a hook-up... nor am I looking for a relationship. I am just looking to meet women, get to know them and see where it goes from there. I currently have 173 matches on Tinder. Here are my stats from those matches: -Only about 40 of those 173 are actually somewhat interesting to me. -Only 23 women reply out of those 173 -Out of those 173, I was able to secure 12 dates. None of those dates really went anywhere. -I have been stood up 7 times using Tinder (girls seemed interested, would give me number, we'd talk for awhile, agree to go out, and they'd never show up). Are women who use Tinder harder to date than women you would actually meet in real life? Are they just looking for attention? Why match someone if you have no intention on talking or meeting that person?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • The only surefire way to find someone is to be part of a culture that dictates that for you.

    Tinder might seem like a gift to guys who have trouble finding dates, but humans are very adaptable and standards adjust to the circumstances. More options generally mean higher standards. More competition generally means you have to offer something great.

    With Tinder, there are more options and more competition.

    wouldn't it be great if you were in a room full of women interested in dating, just like you? That's a wish that Tinder purports to fulfill, but it doesn't because while in this fantasy you are the only guy, in reality guys make up the majority of that room.

    Once you realize that it's actually the women taking their picks from the litter of men, you might not put so much stock in online dating. They aren't necessarily damaged (although some are, especially on OkCupid and POF), they just don't "want" you the same way that you want them.

    Not only do these women get plenty options in person, online presents an abundance of desired attention that they dont even have to reasonably reciprocate. It's a great drug for the female ego, so their intentions should always be questionable at best.

  • Damn. 173 matches is nice. I've only had 13 matches in 10 days. Doesn't look good at all, even though I've swiped right to like thousands of girls I think.

    • To answer your question, I think they are there just for attention and unless you're a complete stud, they aren't gonna take you seriously.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I wouldn't say they're damaged, but I don't know how seriously they're taking it. I have a feeling it's just a confidence booster and way to flirt and talk to people for some. I think part of it is also the stigma of Tinder, and thinking most guys are just looking to hook up anyway, so why meet up with them unless that's what you want to do. Also, I think it's the effect of too many matches, conversations, invites to go out, etc.

    It is different from real life... it's comparable to you walking into a bar and having twenty girls flirting with you and asking you out. Are you going to talk to them all at once? Go out with each of them? Where do you have the time to do that? And how do you make a real connection with anyone when you're dating several people and not giving you're focused attention to any one or few of them? That's why I've strayed away from apps and online dating and just met people more organically.

  • Well before I knew what the hell Tinder was I was convinced that it was a legit dating app. I didn't like the idea of having a lot of matches and that a lot of people could message me me because I was just checking the app out so I would swipe even if a guy was attractive and decided to stop doing that and see what happened. Tinder is a hookup app to me most people on Tinder want sex or they to see how many matches they would get kind of a confidence thing. I see it as a horrible app because most people don't even fill out the few things that could say enough about them to make some interested it think its just a looks thing because that is all you see until you get a match and then you can get to know them. I'm not sure what kind of women use Tinder but in general this app is for hookups and not a lot of women know that quite frankly they don't know what they are looking for themselves lol so there you have it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I feel like you know the answer to this.

    • Lol.. perhaps? I am just seeing if people have had similar experiences...

  • Tinder isn't really something you take seriously.

    • Then why use Tinder at all?

    • Ask yourself that!