Are you satisfied by a sexual encounter that results in an orgasm or do you require something more?

I ask this question because my last girlfriend said she wasn't satisfied sexually by receiving oral sex, despite having orgasms. That she needed penetrative sex and she needed it to last for a long time.

She also had some other criteria that she had trouble verbalizing about the attitude with which coitus was performed... I'm trying to figure out if this was something peculiar about her which would not be surprising, or if other women feel the same way.
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Superb Opinion

  • It's going to depend heavily on the mood I'd wager. But unless getting me to orgasm is her focus, I don't really care. Sometimes she can be in a very giving mood or have a certain kink or feeling that can needs me reaching orgasm to fulfill or satiate. If that's the case, then obviously orgasm is necessary. If not, they were aware that if I didn't orgasm, it wasn't because of them but a medicine I was on that was considered to be 'experimental'. It worked wonders but made orgasm stupid difficult to achieve. But, that let me focus on endurance.

    The women I was with didn't like oral. Giving or receiving. They found it kind of gross or were completely uninterested. Sex meant penatrative sex and the longer, the better. Hell, the last woman I was with was very intimacy focused. It was very important to have frequent skin to skin contact. One thing she was big into was just climb on and slide me inside of her. Her eyes would usually be closed, often leaning forward a bit, sometimes her arms around my neck. Sometimes she move her hips back and forth, sometimes not. She LOVED 'feeling full'. The first time, when I asked if she was alright, she said either "please, I need this" or "please let me have this". I don't remember. But it was incredibly intimate and apparently previous partners hadn't shown much care for that aspect? I never had the full story.

    Anyways, what I was trying to highlight that orgasm isn't always the goal. Sometimes the goal is fulfilling some kind of need, or wanting a long session, or just indulging in the pleasures of sex for a while. There are probably just as many ways to define a potential "goal" for sex as there are people haha.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes an orgasm is all I need to feel satisfied. Oral or penetration works for me.
    i like penetration better, but totally fine if it’s just an oral night

Most Helpful Girls

  • Yes, I would be satisfied. However, there are a lot of other reasons I am intimate with my partner. For me, the emotional connection we share during times of intimacy is the most important thing to me.

    It is very hard to describe that feeling. I guess "closeness" physically and mentally would be my best description. It also isn't something that consumes us.

    I have the same emotional connections from things other than sex. It is all the little things in a day that build and make me love him the way that I do. Intimacy is just one component and a rather small one when you look at a life with someone.

    • I don't think this had to do with intimacy issues. My suspicion was that this may have been a result of sexual trauma she suffered in the past.

    • @parthenogenesis Oh. I didn't know that part. Yes, if she had past sexual trauma that could play a HUGE roll in things if true.

  • Orgasms don't satisfy me during sex. I need to feel a emotional connection for it to be really satisfying. Also making my partner orgasm is much more satisfying then having my own.

    • That wasn't the issue. Actually the problem was kind of the opposite, vigorous sexual penetration tends to result in early ejaculation. I tried to do various things like slow down (edge) and asked her if we could stop and start, even suggested I try taking SSRIs to increase my stamina. She rejected all of these. I think she just wanted sex to work the way she liked it without putting any work into it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • i don't always need an orgasm sometimes just the sex is enough

  • The goal is always more than that, it's to maximize both partners' pleasure

  • I require more (MUCH more) in what leads to the orgasm. I'm not talking about the sexual act itself but about the whole situation in general. To me, sex is as much a mental thing as it is a physical thing.

  • You were performing coitus with her? Including the intromission of your penis in her vaginal canal?

    Maybe she needed you to do something like make love with her.

    • Kinda funny, since towards the end of the relationship she stated that she didn't think she was capable of romantic love. But I think your comment had more to do with making fun of my speech style not saying something productive. by the way I use the term coitus not to sound pretenses but to make it clear what sex act I am referring to and not get into the whole Clinton definition of sex issue.

    • Yeah, your description sounded hyperclinical. To answer your question directly, I stopped seeking casual sex several decades ago. Now, I want an emotional connection as well as physical pleasure.