Are You "Up" For "More"? Sex... Jokes That Is...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

For those that have seen my other sex joke takes... I'm baaack...

For those that haven't, hope you enjoy your "first'...

Thought we'd start with dirty pick up lines:

I wish you were my big toe. Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house
.

I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight
.

Do you like sales?

Because clothing is 100% off at my place.

‘You’re cute’ has U in it, but ‘quickie’ has U and I together

And now for the corny jokes:

What comes after 69?

Mouthwash

What’s the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with boobs?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control?

A trip without kids
.

What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion?

It’s not what it looks like!

Did you hear about the man who ejaculated without a penis?

He came out of nowhere.

I just found an origami porn channel...

but it’s paper view only.

What did the corn chip say to the battery?

I'm Frito Lay if your Ever Ready.

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"?

Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don't stop"

“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, ‘The man goes on top and the woman underneath.’ For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds."

Bigamy is having one wife too many.

Some say monogamy is the same.

Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent....

Wedding cake.

What does fucking a woman and cooking an egg in the microwave have in common?

Both end with a loud, annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean up.

What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?

A cherry float.

Why did god give woman 2 sets of lips?

So they can piss & moan at the same time!

Why do men have a hole in their penis?

So their brains can get some oxygen now and then.

Name something you can say during Game of Thrones and sex.

"The ending was disappointing.”

What are three words you dread the most while making love?

"Honey, I'm home."

Hope you enjoyed this Saturday sex joke take...

Thanks for reading💛♥️

"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘

[Jerre]

Excellent job!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks🤗

[Xoirwinkan]

The 'few more inches' joke sounds like he has a small dick, since few usually means three.

[captain_voidwalker]

Savage mode engaged

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Omg🤣🤣🤣 you just made me ugly laugh out loud outside.. Thanks🤦🤣

[humanearth]

NOW THATS FUNNY

[loves2learn]

Ruthless. Lmao!

[bulletbob555]

So the guy goes to the bordello and knocks on the door. Voice says put the money under the door. He waits but nothing happens he knocks on the door again and voice say what do you want he says I want to get screwed. The voice says AGAIN? I cleaned it up but it sounds better the way I usually say it

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lolol

[Diamold]

Omg i needed this 😂 it was hilarious
Thank you @brainsbeforebeauty

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Glad you enjoyed😊 thanks for reading🤗

[TheDarkAngel21]

…. mmmm

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣

[loves2learn]

This is so true! 🤣🤣🤣

[TheAfrikan]

You are back at it 😂😂😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Guilty as charged🤣🤣

[krin_m]

LOLOLLL Thank you @brainsbeforebeauty!
Welcome back!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks🤗

[Alexalex92]

I laughed so much with the wrong hole but don't stop hahahahah

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣 thanks for reading🤗

[Alexalex92]

I thank you

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

😊😊

[Fun951guy]

Yessssz