Are Younger Man-Older Woman Relationships Really All About Sex?

[ManOnFire]

So I have had HELL trying to repost this topic, which is actually supposed to be a Part 2 to my original post on why guys like dating older women. I've had to tweak it quite a bit and have been really frustrated by the time it's taken to remedy this. If this post is redundant to anyone, you have to understand, I'm a guy who's very passionate about relationships with older women. I support the idea greatly and would like to have that experience, and for more than just sex. When you have strong values and beliefs about something, you're gonna keep thinking about it.

In my original post, while a lot of people got where I was coming from on why we younger guys like older women, there were still some who have the idea that it's really just all about sex for us guys. That was pretty offensive. People seem to take our interest as being ingenuine, but not if it's the other way around with a younger woman and an older guy, even though a lot of younger woman have wanted older men because they have this idea that he will be a better lover in bed and understand a woman's body better. No doubt, there are young guys who do want older women just for sex, but I do think most of us care about that connection we really have with one, because they're more mature, more relaxed, and more experienced in life period. So why does it have to be that we as guys are the ones getting discounted for our interest in an older woman?

As much as I do love older women, I must admit that if anyone is going to be the one mostly interested in the sex in a younger man-older woman relationship, it is probably more often the older woman, since they crave us for our "stamina." No one seemed to note that, especially with how heavy "cougar" culture is in these times. No doubt, plenty of us guys are sexually attracted to older women, but it's generally her non-sexual behaviors that begin to stimulate sexual desire in us for them. I know that is certainly the case for me. An older woman doesn't have to be sexually experienced for me to want to be in a relationship, in fact it might be hotter to me if she was one who still held onto the values of waiting until marriage to have sex! I've never met a woman who still has those values, so it would be interesting to see that.

An older woman wanting me just for sex is certainly something I would want to look out for, and even friends and family have told me to be careful because of how a lot of them want a younger guy to get as much sex from them as they want and when they're bored and ready to be finished, they'll kick you to the curb. That's definitely true for quite a few older women, but I still know that many others really do value a serious relationship with a guy who just happens to be younger than them.

I also found it humorous how some people seem to think that it's ridiculous for me or other younger guys to want someone based on age, or that it's inappropriate to be involved with an older woman, yet no one ever says that concerning younger women wanting older men. So it's perfectly logical for them, yet silly for us guys to want a woman based on age who is older, wiser, and better. It shows the bias in society's thinking. I think a lot of younger guys have done fine with plenty of older women. In my experience, it's been those relationships that I've seen to last some of the longest, compared to younger women dating older men.

For younger guys to date older women is not as socially acceptable of a thing as vice versa, so people don't really want to take it seriously. It's not even a new thing, it's just what we as a society haven't really noticed because of how much we look at younger women with older men.

No doubt there are some failed relationships with older women and young guys, but would that always be the result of an age difference? Or would it be no different of a reason than if both were the same age? Maybe both were at the same mental and emotional level, but later on their personalities began to change, and caused a break up. Either way, I don't think age difference is always a result of a break up.

If any guy wants an older woman, or any woman doesn't mind being with a younger guy and feels that he matches her just fine, that's all that should really matter. Why does a guy's intentions have to be doubted for a relationship? If 2 people really click, then they just click, and they have my support.

[ObscuredBeyond]

There's a certain survival logic to it. Men who've had it rough, but can get along well with an older woman who is more composed except in areas he can easily compensate for, will feel that she complements him well.

She's young enough to be his wife when they both have their sh*t together. But if he's ever in a tight spot and can't get it together, she can bail him out and not be a useless ditzy twit. She can fill in for his mom in a pinch, if that's what it takes. Because she's just older enough and mature enough to pull it off.

Also, since she's older, she's not as likely to be out clubbing behind his back, having drunken one night stands with random idiots at a bar. If she cheats at all, it will likely be a more intelligent betrayal, not the mindless horny stupidity of younger women. So he has a more stable home to go to. And because she's more ready to settle down, she'd have less of a problem with making personal sacrifices to take care of their children.

So yes, there are some advantages to a man seeking a slightly older woman.

[KBob93]

Like I stated before, I used to get involved with guys 7-11 years older than myself. It was definitely an interesting experience being the cub.

But now the tables have turned... I'm 22 & he's 18. He calls me his princess. :) Point being, I like being called affectionate, endearing names by him although I'm older.

[thereshegoes1]

I can relate to this. :)

[Stacyzee]

You're right.
Younger-older relationships are accepted between men (older one) and woman (younger one).
When it's the other way around every one raises a brow.
I don't think that will end until more men profess their liking towards women that are older.

Let me ask you this
do you ever want children? since you go for older women, who typically (already may have them---teens/adult children) at their stage?
If you want kids, do you feel you are missing out by dating a older woman who probably has no interest in baring one again?

Also, if you found a woman your age range that was interested in you (she was mature), would you solely not date her based on her age?

I think it's awesome that you like older woman.
I'm still pretty young, but what made me feel horrible about aging is a comment my friend made some time ago.
He's 37 years old and is involved with a woman who is 42.
He has known me since I was 19 (and loves the fact that I still pretty much look the same).
He has been involved in his relationship for 5 years and recently shared with me, that he is no longer physically attracted to his woman because she looks older.
Her face is more mature.
Her body type has widen quite a bit (she's still very thin).
He claims he met her when she was at her physical prime and now that is over.
Her age is beginning to show.

Upon coming online, I've noticed that it's very common that men typically feel this way about women. They always talk about how they will run off with a much young woman, or how women or no good in appearance after a certain age.
It makes me think women are recyclable.
Why can't men appreciate their women as they age, or older women in general? Some day they too will loose their hair, their bodies, and youthful face, why must women always keep up this unrealistic standard?

I think people should just love who they love and not put so much emphasis on age or looks.

[ted22]

You know there is a saying 'you are only as faithful as your options' Men tend to always have more options like with the chid situation an older man can have kids with a young woman but there mabe issues if its the other way around. I myself do like older women and have no problem with her aging.

[Stacyzee]

What age do u consider older

[dark_goofy_weirdness]

Actually I never had anyone tell me or acted as if they did not like the relationship I am in. My girlfriend is 13 years older than me.

[Stacyzee]

I have no idea why I'm being down rated. Perhaps people like following others. Is the age difference visible?

[redeyemindtricks]

"They always talk about how they will run off with a much young woman, or how women or no good in appearance after a certain age" My husband LOVES the way my hips are bigger now, after having babies. My tits got a little saggy from breastfeeding and he'd grab them with obvious lust in his eyes. He even kinda likes my stretch marks. He just loves everything that's woman. All of it. I win at life. <3

[Stacyzee]

Yes , that's great ! I did not say all men felt this way, but more lately I've seen it more than ever. Im afraid of my 30s because i know i will age mid way through. This fresh young girl look i have will fade. My guy reassures me he will always love me. However i observe a lot of comments on GAG and you'll see a lot of men saying this. Even observe real life when old men stare at me or are arm in arm with a younger woman. people who only want a woman for their youthful looks at superficial. I know a 56 year old man who tried to hit on me. His belly looked like it was driving his car , he was balding severely with gray hair and told me he's only attracted to women in their 20s and 30s. 40s and 50s do nothing for him.

[ManOnFire]

Many men DO profess their liking for older women, but like I said society is mostly in the dark about it, and when we do acknowledge it it's just to say the guy is looking for sex, like this post explains. I do want kids, yes. And I've been advised by family and friends to keep that in mind and not go too old with a woman. Sorry about the situation with the guy you knew, but I don't think it constitutes most guys who like older women. And women fall out of love with a man's appearance too, especially when he gets older. That's why you'll hear middle age wives complaining about her man's fat but and not keeping in shape, and on a flip side you have men that still love and put up with women who look horrible and won't keep themselves up.

[thewanderingme]

the guy in the last photo looks like he's in the same age range as the woman, no more than 3 years younger.

[Heyyakkk]

My young boyfriend cheated on me with a thick milf.

Fuck whoever you want to fuck, just stop putting down young women & labeling them as stupid, dense, and lacking substance simply because they aren't up to your fucking fantasies.

[ManOnFire]

But the same thing can be said about younger women wanting older men because they put down younger men's maturity and think they're dense.

[Sabretooth]

he has a point.

[babylips14]

I agree with her (opinion owner). Just because you're not into younger women and/or younger women aren't into you, doesn't mean that they're all "immature" and "stupid". I've seen other posts that you've written and in all of them you are downgrading younger women. Believe it or not, this reflects immaturity on your part. How do you expect an older woman to take you seriously if you can't even respect women in general?

[ManOnFire]

@babylips14 You're reaching for an argument. Me saying younger women are less mature is no different than younger women thinking guys their age or younger are immature. So it's right if you do it, but indicates immaturity for a guy to note it about females. You're kidding me.

[babylips14]

I never said that males are more immature than females. Even though, there are many people who feel this way. I decided to comment on this because I noticed a pattern consisting of you constantly putting down younger females in all of your "What do people think about younger men dating older women?" posts. In other posts you've written, you bash feminism and condemn younger females because you believe that they are "less mature" than younger males and because society approves of them dating older men, instead of the other way around. Maybe your tastes and fantasies really do revolve only around older women, however you don't have to put down, label as "stupid" like the opinion owner said, and generalize the entire younger female population for doing so. I consider this to be a sign of immaturity because a mature person would respect females (young or old) and understand that several "immature" females don't represent the entire female population.

[ManOnFire]

@babylips14 I never called younger females stupid, I said I think they're less mature. I know a lot of people think guys are less mature, and that's because as a society we're trained to think so, and teach ourselves not to notice how in many ways a guy is certainly more mature than a female. It doesn't really matter to me what you got out of my posts, because I can already see you must be one of those who likes to troll people's content to see if they offend you as a woman for not agreeing with feminism like you might, so you've already decided you're going to find fault. If a female had've written a post about younger guys and how she thinks of them as less mature, I highly doubt you'd be showing up to disagree with her and say she's bashing guys for saying what she thinks and feels, nor would you say she's immature for that, and I think you know that.

[babylips14]

"I said I think they're less mature. I know a lot of people think guys are less mature, and that's because as a society we're trained to think so, and teach ourselves not to notice how in many ways a guy is certainly more mature than a female." Most people may arrive at the conclusion that males are less mature than females are because they themselves have experienced more nonsense and stupidity from younger men than they did with younger women. Obviously most older women are more mature than younger women and vise versa. But, that's not the point here. The point here is that you're starting a war against younger females vs. younger males and that's unnecessary in my opinion. "I highly doubt you'd be showing up to disagree with her and say she's bashing guys for saying what she thinks and feels, nor would you say she's immature for that, and I think you know that." Again, she did not do that. She simply scolded you for downgrading younger females and I commended her for that.

[ManOnFire]

@babylips14 "Most people may arrive at the conclusion that males are less mature than females are because they themselves have experienced more nonsense and stupidity from younger men than they did with younger women." - No, it's that people have already taught themselves to notice only stupidity in males, yet if a female does the same thing we don't say she's being stupid or immature. We're conditioned to automatically view them as more mature and not notice their own stupidity. I'm talking about if a female made the same kinds of posts I did vice versa mentioning younger guys being less mature and bashing them, I doubt you'd be saying she's wrong for that. And I think you know that.

[babylips14]

Stupidity is very straightforward and I'm sure that most people are smart enough to note when it's embodied by a male or female. Society as a whole cannot deny when someone is in fact demonstrating signs of immaturity. In addition, this isn't about me. It's about you and the degrading posts you've written about a specific group of females. I am sure that thousands of males/females, young or old, share the same viewpoint the opinion owner and I hold. It's no different than me insulting an entire racial or ethnic group simply because I'm not attracted to them. Not only would that be racist, but it would also reflect poor judgment on my part because that is just foolish and unnecessary. About me supporting the opinion owner if she was saying negative things about males, I absolutely would not because I am wise enough to understand that bashing an entire population of people is just plain wrong and foolish.

[ManOnFire]

@babylips14 "Stupidity is very straightforward and I'm sure that most people are smart enough to note when it's embodied by a male or female. Society as a whole cannot deny when someone is in fact demonstrating signs of immaturity." - Actually society isn't. If a girl was going on drawing dick picks on walls like a guy or making jokes about guys genitals, most people wouldn't say she's immature for that. In fact a lot of people would find it to be funny. And if a girl did stupid street stunts or other stupid behavior like guys most people would just think she's trying to get guys' attention, not think she's immature. We choose to see immaturity how we want to. Most people actually agreed with me in my posts about younger men/older women, and when I speak to people about it in real life they usually do, especially older women. You can take it as offense or degradation of a group of people however you want, but it doesn't change the situation, and I don't really care.

[babylips14]

"If a girl was going on drawing dick picks on walls like a guy or making jokes about guys genitals, most people wouldn't say she's immature for that. In fact a lot of people would find it to be funny." Of course they would. Whoever does this is extremely immature whether it's a male or female. And if a female were to get caught doing this, she sure as well would get written up for it and face the same consequences a male student would in the American school system. In this scenario, being a female doesn't make her actions any less stupid than if she were a male. If you believe that society has "taught" you not to realize this, then you must be living in a different society other than America. I'm not talking about your posts pertaining to younger men/older women. I'm specifically talking about you putting down and labeling younger women in many of your posts in order to praise older women and I'm just letting you know that it's degrading and unnecessary, whether you accept it or not.

[tyber1]

Whenever there is a large age gap, there's a good chance it's just for sex.

[Sabretooth]

and money, as well as an ego boost.

[NotTheFBI]

... Yes... and money don't forget the Money.

[singlebee]

Yes I find older women attractive... I would definitely try a relationship with her... The women in last pic is really attractive...

Would sleep with her in a flash.. :-)

[BorisKk]

I do not know why, but old womens very attractive!

[IceEverest]

I think any relationship should be accepted irrespective of race , age etc

[Marinepilot]

ManOnFire-It takes guts for a younger man to date an older woman. I say why not. Much has been said about older man-younger woman relationships. I
see nothing wrong with them. However, many insecure little twerps on this
board give me a ration of shit for stating my views, And then turn around and say it's ok. Make your mind up. Getting back to older women-younger men, it's
not readily accepted here. Although in Europe it's quite common. We Americans are so provincial in many ways. I'd say purse your older woman and be happy. No, it's not entirely about sex.

[dudegrt09]

Most of the times I think so yes, but depends on how much older is the woman... I am currently in friends with benefits situation with a woman almost 20 years older than me, although I wouldn't mind getting it serious she has made it clear from start that we are not getting serious about it...

[babu_001]

Anything between men and women is sex!

[TheInfamus]

I have absolutely no interest in girls my age group, would rather date a woman 20 years older than me

[JustAnotherPassenger]

I find this interesting, Would you bother explaining why is it? I used to date older girls before my 20s, but they were the ones hitting on me (I didn't use to get the attention from any girl of my age).

[jamesbarton262]

it seems to be just about sex

[ayoubMAS]

love have no age

[willdublin]

i disagree... it is about sex, and who cares?

[Anonymous]

Younger women are put on pedestals and that makes their standards become unreasonable. its also acceptable for a younger woman to have a sugar daddy, but not for a younger guy to have a sugar momma.

[Anonymous]

My family considers these types of relationships to be sick... I know it's, a rarity to think like this of these types of relationships

[Anonymous]

Younger Man-Older Woman relationship for the woman is about feeding her ego that she still got it and kind of a throwback to her glory days when she was at the top of her looks. For the men it's about easy sex.

[Anonymous]

I have to disagree. Older men younger women relationships are not any more accepted. Guys and girls in those relationships are commonly made fun of. The guys get called shallow, or get accused of using some innocent woman for sex,. Meanwhile the woman is accused of having daddy issues or being a gold digger. You are just less likely to notice those insults because they are so common we don't notice them as often.

Older women younger guy relationships pretty much get the same crap, in that they are accused of using each other for sex, or that they are only with each other because she has money. I have even heard the guys being accused of having mommy issues. In both cases people can't accept that an older younger relationship can possibly be a healthy normal relationship.

I have dated an older woman and barely received any crap for it. In fact I got more crap that my dad married a younger woman. I have even received more crap for occasionally admitting I found a younger woman attractive and not even comparing her to younger women. Older women just get butt hurt and start hurling out insults.

The fact is that any large age gap will create challenges. With older women those challenges are greater because the woman has more trouble seeing a younger man as an equal. A woman's sexual attraction is more closely tied to her respect for the man than a man's is for a woman. A man's attraction is more physically based, which can also add difficulty in a long term relationship. It doesn't mean that these challenges can't be overcome, but they do exist.

[Poppykate]

I agree, they aren't usually accepted, and I don't think that they should be. Particularly if the age gap is greater than 10 years. It isn't psychologically unhealthy. When couples truly look into the basis of their relationship, you will find childhood neglect or abuse, and these relationships only make the issue worse.

[Anonymous]

In my experience with younger men... it has been mostly about sex.

[ManOnFire]

You mean for you? Or them?

[Opinion Owner]

I can only speak for myself.

[ManOnFire]

I'm saying who are you saying it's mostly been about sex for? You? Or the guys?

[Opinion Owner]

Two guys wanted a relationship. One of the guys was 15 years younger... I knew it would never work. I live in the south and his mother would have had a problem with it. The other guy was 10 years younger although we saw each other for a few months... it was mostly a sexual relationship.

[ManOnFire]

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