As a Christian , how do I cut off those who are trying to force me to do things that aren’t my belief?

Anonymous

I made the vow to God that I wouldn’t have sex with a man unless I was married and he’s my husband and no man would touch me unless he’s my husband. I have individuals trying to force me to have sex with them and date them. A former friend of mines and his family tried to push themselves on me. His family wants us to be together and they tried to force us together. Yesterday he came by my house and started touching on me inappropriately after I asked him numerous times to stop touching me. He wouldn’t stop so I told him to leave and don’t come back. I wasn’t dressed provoking; I had on a dress to my knees with a shirt under neath. I told him days before that there would be no touching unless we hug each other goodbye. He’s not welcome back to my home. I’m in celibacy and have been a few years.

Updates:

+1 y

I’ve been knowing this guy over 10 years and his parents know about me. We went to school together and he knows my family ! They see him as family ! This is no one of the internet ! Our friendship is over and he knows this ; I never dated this guy exclusively either

+1 y

I don’t meet men offline or on the internet and haven’t on over 4 years now

0 1

Most Helpful Guys

Meldrum Xper 7
+1 y
You're in your 30's from what I see. What made you choose a life of celibacy at this age? You are right, by the way. If you don't invite touching, then touching should be off limits.
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  Yes I agreed
- Asker
  +1 y
  Ok will do
- Meldrum
  +1 y
  You didn't answer my question.
- Show All Show Less
- Asker
  +1 y
  Religious beliefs and the fact I’m Christian. I’ve been Christian all mi life and my family is traditional
- Asker
  +1 y
  My life “
- Asker
  +1 y
  I never was the type who slept around with a man either
- Meldrum
  +1 y
  I am also Christian, in that I follow the Savior, Jesus the Christ, the Messiah. After my wife died I mourned for a long time but I had two girls to raise, from ages 15 and 11. I got them through University, held my oldest's hand when she got her Master's and then her Doctorate. Held my youngest's hand when she graduated from SU then Kingston University in London, England. They are both successful in life and in love. I've grown old making sure my children, the children of my wife, were taken care of. Now I'm 75 and talking with folks like you on GAG. I was put in Facebook jail for a month for one of my more inflammatory commentaries. I'm very political, left-wing radical in my way of thinking. I will be able to attend church again and, hopefully, when they lift the sanctions, be able to sing again in the choir and with my groups.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Nice I’ve been doing church online and I’m 32. I’m also a parent for my children. I love God and Jesus. I’m very conservative as a black woman and in religion heavily. I come from a traditional background dearly.
- Meldrum
  +1 y
  A conservative black woman. You're livin' in the south?
- Asker
  +1 y
  Yes southern black woman
- Meldrum
  +1 y
  That's pretty much the only way a black woman can BE a conservative Christian. I'm sorry if I sound prejudiced. I'm not. But living in the South means conservative views. A dear friend of mine lived in Mississippi. He grew up there, moved to NY state, worked for a few years then moved back and now he's back here. He's black and he never felt safe while there. He's a big boy too. I do not blame him. I've been to several states in the South and it's not a pretty site.
- Asker
  +1 y
  It’s not it’s racist here at times the folks are coming around here now you couldn’t make go to Mississippi
- Asker
  +1 y
  Make me
- Asker
  +1 y
  I’m in Louisiana
- Asker
  +1 y
  A lot of these folks are Republican and Democrat
- Meldrum
  +1 y
  The Dems are few and far between but I think Trump is changing that.
- Asker
  +1 y
  I hope so we need him back in office not Biden
- Meldrum
  +1 y
  That is where we part. I cannot, in good conscience, support in any way, a man that cheats on his wives, never attends church, buddies up to dictators and calls our veterans and the dead, losers and suckers. This from a man that got 5 deferments from the military. A coward, a womanizer, a racist, and since this last debacle, a terrorist and traitor to the Constitution.
- Asker
  +1 y
  I know , but we’re are we heading? America? With Biden
- Asker
  +1 y
  Didn’t him and Melanie divorce? I guess what I’m saying is Trump did some things for America however “ I don’t shoot the messenger “ lol
- Meldrum
  +1 y
  He and Melania are married but she married for money, gold digger that she is and always has been. He didn't do a damn thing but insure he got billions of our dollars. He's never done anything without counting the money that's in it for him. That's why he presented a bill for 1.9 TRILLION dollars to pay corporations and millionaires and billionaires enormous tax refunds when neither even paid any taxes.
- Asker
  +1 y
  What wow.. thought she wanted a divorce shrugs it’s crazy
Gedaria Master
+1 y
Go to the police. That is against the law.
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  I know he didn’t rape me , but I felt violated because he has a tendency of touching or groping
- Gedaria
  +1 y
  Still the same. It's indecent assault , it's not right some guy or a friend. He is violating your space and body.
- Asker
  +1 y
  I agree Gedaria he works for the cops and has connections by the way
- Show All Show Less
- Gedaria
  +1 y
  Sadly it happens like that. Try get help from someone senior..
- Meldrum
  +1 y
  Working for the police does not give him free rein to be inappropriately touching you. Make a report out and if nothing is done go to his captain.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Thanks you guys will make a move in the morning

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 4

loves2learn Master
+1 y
You need to find someone who shares your same value system. What he did was not ok. You did not consent to that. I’m sorry it happened.
1 1 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  It’s ok I feel bad I’ll tell you that
- loves2learn
  +1 y
  Don’t feel bad. This is 100% on him and his inappropriate behavior. Not you.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Thanks 😊.. I’m trying to heal from it
- Show All Show Less
- loves2learn
  +1 y
  One day at a time. ❤️
bowenw Guru
+1 y
There are some guys that are focused on sex and you can't change them. If they find out you are a virgin/celibate it may make you even more desirable. Before dating a guy try to find out as much as possible about him including their views on premarital sex. If you decide to date a guy take it slow and really get to know them before inviting them into your home.
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  I’m not dating this guy and never did ; still don’t excuse his behavior. This so someone I’ve been knowing for 10 years and went to school with. I have a gun and pepper spray friend or no friend. I told him not to come back ever. So I want to be clear we have history together and never dated exclusively. He’s definitely desperate for sex and doesn’t understand to keep his hands to himself.
- bowenw
  +1 y
  If he was aware of your desire to remain celibate, he disrespected you and betrayed the friendship by touching you inappropriately. I'm sorry this happened to you and that you lost someone you thought was a friend.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Yes he was aware of my celibacy aswell as not to touch me prior to him coming to my house. I made that clear from the beginning.
- Show All Show Less
- Asker
  +1 y
  So yes our friendship is over
- bowenw
  +1 y
  Looking back, were there any telltale signs that he was going to behave this way to watch for with other guys going forward?
- Asker
  +1 y
  Yes I tried to stop him setting my boundaries
- Asker
  +1 y
  I got him now
- bowenw
  +1 y
  Best of luck to you going forward. Stay healthy and safe.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Thanks
jasco Guru
+1 y
Well block them, simply stop talking to them
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  I can’t block him not like social media , but our friendship is over
- jasco
  +1 y
  Ok than
Valnac Guru
+1 y
Stick to your guns.
Don’t let anyone tell you different.
1 1 0 0
Anonymous
+1 y
You must be really good girl, and religious girl. You are awesome
Hard to find a girl like you, most people have sex without marriage
I love your belief tho.
1 1 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  Thanks it’s becoming hard finding men worth marriage this would be my second marriage if I got married in this life time. Yes I’m religious and strong in my morals and beliefs
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  I hope someone as good person as you will find you You arw close to God. People who are close to God are protected by Him Im sure you will always be happy with your decisions. And i hope u always meet good people :)
- Asker
  +1 y
  Thanks again! Yes I vow to remain close to God despite I have to deal with the world and their views ; Not easy at all
- Show All Show Less
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  I think people who follow the religion rules, are ones that will be happy in this life and after life too Ofc its life, all people may have bad moments sometimes But we have to focus on good things We should see events from a positive view, i hope.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Not easy I agree. Especially if there are not believers around you. But im sure He will help you and He is there whenever you need help. :) as long as you are pure like how you are, you deserve every good things May God always be with you, protect you, give you best life
- Asker
  +1 y
  Thank you and God bless
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Thank you too, God bless