At natrual state. A man getting a bj is dominant but a man giving oral to a woman is also dominant?

This is related to another question I saw on here.. so if a woman gives a man a blowjob without doing any extra stuff I would say she is being submissive and he is dominant. But if a man is doing the opposite to her 😼 I'd still say he is dominant and she is submissive. (Not adding or trying to go the opposite way, like just natrual). Am I wrong or no?

No giving is submissive
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No getting is submissive
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I'd agree with you
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Neither of these I'll comment below
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11 mo
Only men voted and commented lol smh😂 anyways I think I see it wrong cause im submissive but now I know
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Most Helpful Guys

  • A man getting his dick sucked is definitely dominant, but licking a woman's pussy is very submissive, in my opinion.

    • Okay intressting

  • For me, dominance isn’t about the sexual action. It’s the energy and how the two people communicate.

    • Yeah ofcource you can make it either way depending on how they comunicate etc but I meant without adding anything to it..

    • You said not adding to it, and being natural. If for you the women naturally submits to the man then yes, actions in sex including oral would be submissive for her. Is this what you are asking?

    • Yeah I mean just the act itself

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • if you wear short dresses and get on your knees when the man asks you to then your submissive... without a question asked... doms will often ask y ou to lower your panties... basically tell you what to do and you don't question him nor talk back... in a sense there's a safety there... or a trust in your dom where it's a better experience for both... would you rather be on a boring date wondering if he likes you or would you like to be out with a guy who asks you to get on your knees so you can give him a blowjob? if your fine with that than being submissive is for you... nothing's better than wearing a nice short and sexy dress... being bare thighs... and giving someone head.

    • Yeah but thats not what im talking about. Im refering to the act alone.:)

    • depends on the how isn't it... if your asked and you do it then it's submissive... if you ask a guy if you can then that's something else

    • Yeah again you are talking about something else but its okay

  • I'm thinking that oral sex isn't tired to power pr say, but that it can play a role in power dynamics when it already exists.
    So a man *ordering* a girl to blow him is dominant and in control despite the effect she has on him.
    He's looking down on her, holding her head and controlling the pace, telling her what to do etc, instead of letting her decide what to do.
    Or perhaps even "skull fucking" her Instead of regular blow jobs.
    Likewise a dominant man might be giving *her* pleasure, but *he* is deciding what's happening, playing her body like a instrument, controlling her.

    By contrast a dominant woman and submissive man might have her controlling *his* body, deciding what's going on etc, and might be ordering *him* to pleasure her etc...

    The terms "top" and "bottom" is used in BDSM here, not to describe who is where, but who is the active part or in control.
    A Dom is on top in a D/s sense even when he's on the bottom in other senses.
    So a dominant masochist might order a submissive sadist to tie him or her up and torture him or her on his or her command.
    Being in control (s) he's the D/s top, but being bound (s) he's the bottom in terms of bondage, and (s) he's bottom in terms of S/m.

    Does that make sense?

    You can be a dominant guy while being tied up tortured by a girl that's on top of you and riding your penis, because *you* are in control.
    And she wouldn't be able to disobey him even if she wanted to, completely ensnared by his mind and will.

    It's a spell easily broken, but while it lasts he's 100% in control.

    • Yes I already know you can make it dominant /submissive but thats not what im talking about. I'm refering too the act itself without trying to make it sub or dom the woman is natrually submissive and the man dominant

    • I agree that women are naturally submissive. And with guys usually physically on top in both situations it's *easier* for him to take charge physically. Grabbing her head while recieving a blowjob and holding her down when giving her pleasure since he's on top. He simply have more options. That said, I definitely prefer recieving a blowjob while denying her pleasure myself. Not because giving her pleasure through oral sex is necessarily submissive but because I like the mindset that it's *all* about me. That *I* am the important one in the relationship. And I do orgasm control and denial, keeping her denied and edged long term. But there's more then one way of doing this.

    • Yeah but again natrually speaking she is submissive because there is a lot more harm he can do to her in that situation than she to him. Like if they dont tie each other up just completely silent both who receive are sitting. Then woman is submissive in both cases.. But I get what you mean:)

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  • i don't think there is necessarily a dominate or submissive element to oral sex. or it can be both for the giver or the receiver.

    the giver is really the person in control, but at the same point they are effectively in service to the other person. so i don't know. i don't see it, at it's basic, as a dominant vs submissive thing.

  • The person giving is dominant

  • I think part of it is who is on top. If a man is standing getting a BJ then he is looking down at the girl. That’s a dominate position. Reverse the sexes and if the girl was standing and the guy on his knees… I wouldn’t consider him dominate.
    The same would go for a guy laying on his back getting a BJ. With the girl above him I would consider her in charge making her the dominate one.

    • Yeah I can see that now. Thanks!

  • You fail to neglect that some girls just love to give blowjobs. They want a dick in their mouth and cum on their tongue. THEY WANT IT. There are no dominance issues there.

    Same with muff diving. Some guys just like to dine at the Y. Again, no dominance issues.

  • If you are focused on being the dominant one then your concerns are for yourself. To give, in this situation, is to focus on the receivers pleasure and to not worry about yourself. However, If the receiver is pleased they will more than likely reciprocate. Happy people tend to like to create happiness.

    • Lol im submissive.. And thats not what im refering too I know you can make it both dom and sub

    • Yes it could be dominant or submissive. If I know that my girl loves to receive oral sex and I engage with the total idea that maybe she will feel that she owes me something (fellatio). Then my actions are dominant in that I would be trying to get a blowjob from my actions. Reverse Psychology.. Maybe he just likes to see her eyes roll back and feel her quake under his tongue.

    • Okay never heard of fellatio before lol

  • Wrong, wrong, wrong lol. She is still dominant even when she's giving a bj, and she can turn up the heat on that by really being aggressive and grabbing his hands to keep him powerless when he tries to take her head and bob it on his cock. Whoever is getting oral is submissive. Whoever is giving it is dominant, because they are the ones providing the pleasure. Same when a man is eating her up, she is submissive and he's dominant, especially with eating a woman because she is in a super submissive and helpless position.

  • It's all in the way you do it. If you treat it like you are dominant then it doesn't matter who is giving or who is on top. Where you put your hands, the vibe you are giving off, etc. I'm still going to be dominant when going down on my girl because I'll throw her back, hold her legs down or something ya know. And also when getting a BJ, I get my little tough guy posture and shit feelin like Im cool for a sec, put your hands on her head, things like that. It would be different if she powerbombed me onto the bed and tossed my legs to my ears to suck me off.

    • I meant natrually the act itself not trying to make it dominant or submissive?

  • I see a BJ as a girl prevailing and guy subordinating.
    I see Cunnilingus as a guy prevailing, even controlling and girl subordinate, even submitting.

    • So either way?

    • Don't understand your question.

    • I mean the act itself not trying to be dominant or submissive the woman is always submissive and the man dominant

  • My wife almost always initiates giving me head so I really don't think she is submissive when I let her do me.

    • okay:)

  • I think going down on a woman is more sub than dom?

  • The fact that you insist that there must be a dominant partner in the relationship is just sad. There must not be any quality men around you. Or, despite your tremendous beauty, you must have some real issues.

  • I think it depends what position you’re giving or getting oral n. If a girl is on her knees while the guy is standing the girls is submissive and the guy is dominant but if a girl is sitting on his face she is dominant and he is submissive.69 is kinda a mixed bag it kinda depends who’s giving or getting the most pleasure.

  • Depends how you go about it.

  • its just oral. no dominant sides here,69 would be most pleasant and enjoyable

  • I believe it can go either way. Both dominant and submissive.

  • Uhh my wife grabs a hold of my hair and rides my face like a bronco. Nothing Dom about that for me.

    Not that I’m complaining.

  • i don’t get why people always think in terms of that. We’re going down on each other cuz it’s fun 🤷‍♂️

  • I don’t think either way is dominant, it’s an intimate thing to me

    • okay cool