Most Helpful Guys

  • Real early. Pre-school, even then, I had a vague fascination with the ladies. I feel like if you’re pretty binary in terms of sexuality, it’s probably pretty easy to roll with. Maybe if you have more of a sliding scale type of orientation, that’s where I could see confusion that lasts into adolescence.

    I can’t fully speak for anyone else, of course, but observationally, the kids I knew when we were very young who I later knew in adolescence or adulthood…. there were no surprises in terms of sexuality. The boys who skipped rope with the girls while the rest of us played Army were gay as adults, the girls who played Army with us grew up to be lesbians. That’s not to say there aren’t outliers or that LGBTQ people have to fit into a certain kind of personality, I’m just saying the ones who operated a little more along stereotypical lines, the outcome was not shocking.

    There was girl named Tina who I went to school with all growing up. She was always “just one of the guys.” A tomboy of the highest order. She wasn’t revolting looking, but she was decidedly not pretty, in such a way where she kind of just passed for a boy. Credit to her parents, she was always allowed to just be herself, even back in the 80s. She had shoulder-length hair, but un-styled, and at that time, a lot of men had long hair anyway, this was the hair-band era, haha. I legitimately would forget she was a girl sometimes. I left the school system and went to a private high school, but I ran into her about five years later at the beach, and there she was in the company of a girlfriend. Tina’s a butch. She was a butch her whole life. She knew it, I knew it, we all knew it.

    So I’d wager if she sat down and opened up honestly, she’d say her experience was probably just like mine. At four or five years old you start getting that first bit of self-awareness, but still very instinct-driven, and you just see a boy or a girl and something in your brain just says “I like that.”

    And what’s so cool about that chick, while I’m sure she had internal conflicts like anyone could, she was always just unapologetically herself, nobody else questioned her, she never discussed what she was or wasn’t into, I wouldn’t say she sat at The Cool Table in the cafeteria, but everyone liked her, nobody questioned her, and she just led a seemingly peaceful existence. She was ALWAYS happy and chill, outwardly at least. Bums me out that not everyone has that kind of a ride. Haven’t seen her in 25 years, but I have no doubt she’s living her best life somewhere out there, haha.

    But yeah, for me, for about as long as I could remember, I’ve been into women. Even before I was put into school with them, I remember liking Maria from Sesame Street. Ironically, I ended up with a Puerto Rican gal from NYC, just like her, haha

  • From the time I was old enough to go outside and play with the neighborhood kids, I liked girls. One girl and I were best friends when we were little. Oh, I had best friends who were guys, too. I was very much a boy. But I got a funny feeling when I was around her, although I didn't know anything about sexuality.

    In kindergarten I had kind of a crush on one girl. There was always some girl in every grade of elementary school that I had a crush on.

    So I guess I always knew my sexuality and was curious about girls, and I had seen my sister's cleft when I was little, so I knew that girls were different.

    At some point in late elementary school I saw photos of nude women in magazines, but, aside from knowing that women had a hole that a penis went into, I had no idea how sex worked until my first girlfriend in 10th grade when I was 16.

    There was no internet or porn and my parents never told me anything.

    I accidentally masturbated sometime, I don't know, maybe when I was 13. After that, I did it a lot.

    Girls started getting hips and boobs by 7th grade and I used to go to dances.

    When that first girlfriend invited in into the house trailer in her parent's back yard, it was a dream come true to see and touch a real live woman for the first time. She was 14 and had been in one, previous, short-lived relationship, so she wasn't a virgin. She was also on the pill.

    When I put my hand between her legs, I was surprised to find that it was all gooey and squishy. That's how clueless I was up until then.

    Anyway, there was never a question that I was all boy when I was growing up, and I was100% heterosexual. I never once had any sexual attraction to boys or men.



    • What a wonderful in depth answer thanks for sharing

    • LOL You're welcome. It was kind of a long answer to a simple question.

    • Thank you for the MHO. :-)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I'd say about 3 or 4. I always liked little boys, loved my dad, and loved playing marbles and jacks with boys at that age. They were both unisex games that we all played together. Other ones were pick up sticks and card games.

    Buy, yeah. Not at all confused about my attraction to males. However, if I were attracted to females, I bet that coming to that realization might occur later because fewer people feel that way and it's not as accepted. One might repress that attraction until later.

  • 19 and I finally found the word for it

    • I found out I was asexual, not a lesbian. You need to stop watching so much porn.

  • I was maybe 14 or 15 when I came to the realization that I was bisexual.

    • Was?

    • Sorry, I made a gaf while typing that. I AM bisexual.

    • Aah okok.. cool

  • I probably realized it the moment I saw my first tree and had to start pissing all over it and every other tree after that every bush every Pole yep I knew it right away car tire
    Building river lake girlfriend. Opps sorry I thought you were statue.

  • 26.

    I figured out I was bisexual 1 year after getting out of my first long-term straight relationship.

    Spent 3 months pining over women, and then realized I was pining over women, lmao!

    I've been bi my whole life, but it never sunk in until 26.

    Took leaving the Catholic faith, leaving my abusive mother and enabler father behind, and years of therapy to get to a point where I could be honest with myself.

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