At what point do YOU consider an encounter to be kinky?

"kinky" to one person may be vanilla for someone else, but where do YOU think the line is?

Updates:
1 y
I mean, BEFORE 50 Shades if you had a pair of handcuffs you were considered kinky... Since then it seems you now need 3 pairs of handcuffs, 100' of rope, at least 10 floggers, and a gerbil before the soccer mom says "okay, you're kinky". (Okay, the gerbil is a joke, but the rest isn't far off)
1 y
I remember when a pair of fuzzy handcuffs was considered kinky... Now I have to wonder unless my partner has either a toy bag (like an actual bag exclusively for sex toys) or furniture or modifications to furniture exclusively for sex (as in having D-Rings fixed to the bed frame or walls to tie me to).
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • I think it's when something outside of vaginal and oral sex and foreplay happens. When someone gets restrained, becomes dominant or submissive, or a non-sexual body part like butt or feet gets involved.

    Another good factor to judge by is whether you'd be hesitant to tell a friend about it. I've talked with friends about sex. I haven't told them about the times I got handcuffed by my wife, let her put her finger in my butt during oral, or went down on her after cumming inside her because all those things are kinky.

  • When she's into what I am into. Otherwise it's just kinda Vanilla like when a girl say's I am kinky because I like cuffs, I am... just here thinking no pretty sure that's a common thing for a women.
    Kinky has to be something out side the normal to me. A dominate woman and submissive guy for example is very much outside the normal therefore kinky.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 13
  • When whichever person says that's far enough. And is willing to play again... move forward at a comfortable pace until Vanilla is getting a return too. Make sense?

  • To me any time submission or dominance is involved or sexualizing a body part that isn’t meant to be sexualized

  • Anything behind normal sex can be considered kinky/pervert, and BDSM is never vanilla.

    • I agree, but even then we have to ask what is "normal" sex... Going backwards is "normal" missionary position? Go a little further back "normal" would be doggy position. If we go all the way back to out most primitive days rape was likely the most common means of procreation. So while I agree, you open things up to an interesting conversation.

    • If back then rape was the most common means of procreation it explain BDSM. :)

    • There is some interesting psychology behind it

  • Could be a number of things starting with a good spanking. Bondage is definitely kinky.

  • I don't think of kinks as BDSM, cosplay, group sex or role playing. To me kinks are on the visceral side. I would consider an encounter kinky if she initiates or attempts a blow job.

  • Out of the ordinary, I’d say.

  • When other bodily fluids/secretions get involved that one wouldn't automatically assume should be involved.

  • Some dominance. Many toys involved at the same time can be kinky. Will you share your thoughts later?

    • 50 shades was stupid. Kind of boring. One pair of handcuffs can still be kinky. Just got to use them right.

    • Sure, I'll offer my opinion and perspective in a few days

  • Certain toys or when food is involved.

  • It’s all in the delivery.

  • when he put a collar on me

  • I would draw the line at when you enjoy a feeling others would describe as negative. Like, pain, shame, disgust and stuff like that. When you find a way to turn that into pleasure during sex, you're kinky.

  • When she accepts that she's a Sub and calls me Sir

  • When there is blood and body waste involved such as Urine and shit

  • When she wants me to play with her butt or she wants to play with my butt.

    • Thanks for the MHO