Based off my experience w dating apps, is it best to just quit? Or am I looking for excuses to give up?


27F, been on and off the dating apps for years. I’ve complained to my mother enough and she has always reassured me that I just haven’t found the right one, been hearing this since I was 21. I feel like I could have been in a relationship or at least “dated” if I went for the guys that have pursued me. However, I got tired of the ones I didn’t like back approaching me and have decided to use bumble. I’ve met up with two guys and didn’t feel them either. It’s only been twice BUT like I said I tried the other apps for years. My life has always been the ones I want don’t want me back/aren’t serious and the ones that like me I don’t want back. My mom says that she really loved my dad and she’s been with her current boyfriend for years but I just don’t get the appeal of either of them (seeing them as if I don’t know them or aren’t related to them). She says she didn’t settle but I just don’t get how you aren’t settling if you aren’t physically attracted to the person. I do feel I will genuinely end up alone, rather be alone vs being taken and miserable. Not that this matters but I don’t really have an active sex drive, I don’t enjoy masturbating and haven’t had sex in years. I saw someone very briefly 3 years ago and while he had a decent personality, I wasn’t physically attracted to him. That was my closest to a relationship, you’re seriously telling me I haven’t been able to find anyone since? It’s like the universe is telling me I can’t do any better, I have never even introduced anyone to my family going on 30. Social anxiety is something I deal with but not that much of a contributing factor. Around a yr ago, I took a 6 month break from dating apps.

TL;DR: haven’t had success with dating apps, is it best to stop using them?
Stop using the apps
Vote A
Don’t give up
Vote B
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Superb Opinion

  • It's interesting how you say you don't have an active sex drive, yet you seem to prioritize physical attraction over all else. The advantage of dating apps is they give you greater numbers of opportunities, but that doesn't mean better quality of potential partners.

    Determine what you believe are the most important qualities for a long-lasting relationship and then explore to discover where people with these qualities tend to associate. Spend time in those locations, letting people see you in action rather than just how you look. What you put forth in these situations will give people an idea of what they can expect from you. Something about you will draw the attention of others. Unfortunately, if you're going to base your decision on the other person's appearance, you'll probably be disappointed in the long-run. Never base a relationship on qualities that are only temporary.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I used the apps, maybe once about every 5 or 10 years I've found a date on them, but it's another source at least. Days I've wanted to give up as well, but try.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 2
  • Never used one and never will

  • I reckon your better off approaching Guys in Person, Because the dating apps I have tried like Tinder, Bumble and Zoosk etc you have to pay just to send a message especially to a Girl i like who lives near me, I think that's why Girls like you don't have much luck because there aren't that many Guys on there and the ones that are aren't looking for Relationships or they are just Weird or Creepy.