Be honest. During sex, do you primarily focus on your own pleasure or your partner's pleasure?

"That was good. You got off too, right?" (I focus on myself during sex)
Vote A
"Don't worry, baby. I can edge for hours. This is about you right now." (I focus on them first)
Vote B
"Toys/hands dont need to be pleasured in return" (I do things solo)
Vote C
"The only grinding I'm doing is to get a max level character" (Not sexually active)
Vote D
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
+1 y
For those answering both... how can you primarily be doing both? Yes, I realize there are times you'll focus on your partner and sometimes yourself, but more often than not does your focus stay on your own orgasm or getting theirs to happen first?
+1 y
I was asked about this in DM's for myself so here is my answer. I don’t feel comfortable with myself so I generally don't focus on myself at all and what I do let happen to me is very controlled. Im much more focused in ensuring my partner is taken care of and I dont care if I ever do get off. Thank you to all that have responded to/liked this question as well 😊
3 11

Most Helpful Girls

  • I voted ‘B’ but we have a good system, if you want to call it that. He always “takes care” of me first, a couple times.

    Then, all focus is on him. That allows him to take control and do what he wants the most without having to worry about me, having done his part already.

    • exactly what goes on in my bedroom

    • @bananathunder Well done then, sir. 😊

    • @prettypriya it's the only way!

    • Show All
  • B! If I do my job right, then I'm pretty happy! Any reciprocation is just the cherry on top at that point.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

19 90
  • The girl's pleasure is a big part of what brings me pleasure, so I focus on her's, and the more pleasure she feels, the more I benefit.

  • More on my partners until it is my turn and then if I don't get any...

    Be honest. During sex, do you primarily focus on your own pleasure or your partner's pleasure?

    You'd better find a place to hide you get me worked up and then I am left wanting. You definitely wouldn't want to test me! ... I AM NOT KIDDING!

  • When I was younger and trying to take my pain out on guys, I focused 100% on myself. So much so that hook ups went like this, meet in a room, get naked and get down, usually reverse cowgirl, go as fast as I could then get up, grab my cloths, get dressed and leave, didn't care if he had gone or not. Not my problems.

    These days, I learned that was only hurting me as hurting innocent guys wasn't going to take my pain away. Now I do both but rotating, such as focus on myself first... but when I'm good, then I focus on him.

    • I wouldn't really say you were hurting innocent guys unless you were riding and fucking virgins that you just left after. Then, alright, yeah I can kinda see how that's hurting innocent guys. Otherwise I'd expect both parties kinda know what to expect from everything here.

  • I haven't a clue, I get so wrapped up and like my cousin replied to her mother when her mother said when she got pregnant, what were yo thinking of, to which my cousin said, not a lot at the time

  • I focus on my partner first. If it wasn't for her, I would be doin things myself. I want them to be satisfied, then they'll cum again. It's selfish just to get yours and be done. I've never heard anyone say say "You were terrible in bed, let's try again to see if you got better."

  • In friends with benefits its all about being certain to 'get your's but...
    a WISE male makes certain SHE at LEAST gets ONE FIRST, if you hope to be invited back for an encore!

    I found an excellent paperback years ago, called 'After play' for those clueless males, who roll over and hop outa bed once they've 'nutted'. Afterglow 'cuddles' are healing!
    A great time for serious bonding conversations and a warm wash cloth!

  • Partner 100%.

    Although I may have left work early today, drove rather fast, I was definitely thinking of me on drive home.

    I even called ahead to get the kettle boiled for some Tea.

    i did make sure I put plenty water in the kettle as I had it boil it a few times.

    • @chrismaster69 Tea service is for one these days…don’t want poisoned tea 😬

    • @PrettyPriya you looked at a Goblin

    • @chrismaster69 I did see that. Tea service is brought to me but I have to…umm…pour my own tea. 😕

    • Show All
  • Most of the time my primary focus is pleasing my girlfriend

  • Well I can honestly say that when making love to my girl it's all about pleasing her, in this man's view her pleasure and satisfaction is mines,

  • From the very first kiss, to the very first touch it's all about her that's what turns me on is to turn her on to make her feel something that she's never felt before if I can do that and times it by 10 I can make her have the best orgasms ever and that's what gets me off is watching her lose control and she can't stop coming shaking moaning and it's just not about the sex it's about touch it's about the kiss it's about every little detail thing that you do that makes it all happen the that makes it all work if you think you're just going to get on top of a girl and shoot your load you got another thing coming it ain't even close you need to send her to the moon at least three times before she even has an orgasm is energy is Passion its desire it's a lust it's above its X spider eye contact is everything all rolled up into one can you just keep rolling it and roll it and roll it until it gets bigger and bigger and bigger and that it explode

  • Hi @ez-bri-z
    I’d say if I am doing the penetrating and thrusting, then it’s about 80/20 my pleasure her pleasure, until I hit the climax ramp.. then it’s 100/0. If she’s riding then it’s about 60/40.

  • I primarily focus on my partner’s suffering.

    • I was gonna laugh at first but then I remember your answer from another post and now it makes sense. I swear I'm not dumb, it just took me a moment lmao

    • Lol, I mean, it’s okay to laugh. It was funny. But only half joking. For a more serious answer my attention is on them. Whether or not they are a sub. Everyone’s needs are different and I take a certain level of pride in making someone orgasm more intensely than they knew they could.

    • *sigh* I've missed out on so much in this world. Stupid phobia... That does sound awesome though. I've been so paranoid about things being done to me that I've only really focused on my partners, so I get the feeling pride in just being observant of their body language and sounds and just helping them let loose where I can't myself.

  • I am completely focused on her, which is great because she is the same towards me! We NEVER argue about doing something for the other, if ever we do argue sexually then it is because we want to do more for the other rather than ourselves.. if that makes sense!

  • I picked "solo".

    Most during sex I focus on her since mine is harder to achieve.

  • Partners pleasure but I use mine as a guide if that makes sense. When I run my fingers over her body I look to do it so softly that the physical sensation of out skin grazing feels pleasurable to me.

    If it feels good to me it'll feel good to her. The physical, verbal, and other auditory feedback I get is proof as such. But every move I do is like that. Do something I know she'll like while doing it in a way that feels good to me.

    Have to sensitive yourself to your own sense of touch to do that tho. Like knowing if you touch this way she'll shiver, touch this way she feels a slight release, touch this way that tickles, touch this way she feels the energy moving to another area and is anticipating the next sensation.

    Love that shit

  • I try to make sure the girl I'm with is satisfied first, mainly because I want to avoid any arguments of me being selfish kind of thing really.

  • I think getting them off is a lot of fun. If you know how to play a fiddle , well you love fiddling right? Same thing with a woman. If you know how to make her sing it’s awful nice. I can fiddle for hours.

  • to me, it's 90% about her... and pleasuring her

    me? I'm quite easy to please, lol

  • Initially all the focus is on her, once she's cum its all about me, if she cums again well that's just a bonus for her.

  • I honestly have more fun making my woman have a great time. I love hearing her moan and swear with pleasure as we have sex.

  • Show More (89)