Sexual Relationships
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Be Non-Judgemental And Discreet

Even today women have to deal with slut-shaming. They know that there are plenty of men who’ll judge a woman negatively and will not respect her if she’s too open sexually, too early on. Especially if they find out that she’s ever had casual sex or if she has had a high number of sexual partners.

In order to avoid being judged or disrespected, they hide their sexual side from those men. Instead they’ll present themselves as “not that kind of girl".


If you say negative things about women sexually, about anything sexual really, kink-shaming etc. that tells a woman to be careful about what she reveals to you about her own sexual experiences and desires. It tells her to act like a prude around you, and to play hard to get with you even if she likes you.

It's easier to get laid when a woman feels safe in showing that side of herself to you. It's better to come across as non-judgemental, open-minded, sexually adventurous.

They’re also less likely to have sex with guys who kiss and tell. Firstly because this is a sign of disrespect, and secondly because it might harm her reputation. Never brag about getting laid and never name names, that can harm your own reputation.

Be Non-Judgemental And Discreet
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Most Helpful Guys

  • A woman will hide her sluttiness even if you don't care that she sleeps with lots of men. What do I mean? Well, when a woman - a slut if that's what we're talking about - meets a man she perceives as "pure" or clean because he is friendly and respectful to her, she will pretend wholesomeness with just him while she is slutty with other men he knows nothing about.

    Why does she pretend this? Because she looks at the pure and innocent guy as potential serious-relationship/marriage material, and she wants him to believe that she is a "good girl," so that if she ever decides to stop having casual sex with men she sees as better candidates for that, she'll hold on to the pure guy as someone she can swing over to for a real relationship. She also sometimes pretends wholesomeness with him because she ignorantly thinks the guy is innocent - or even might be a virgin - and wouldn't be the type of man who will be sexually dominant or aggressive enough for her.

    I personally have no care about what a woman does with her sex life, but what I do care about is honesty. And I have no interest in getting attached to 'sluts' who exercise the characteristics I already outlined above.

  • Ooooooor, how about I am allowed to have my own opinion? How about that I can consider some acts shameful and it is the choice of the woman to acknowledge or ignore my opinion?

    Within my relationships, I get to choose what I accept and what I do not.

    • Re-read the second paragraph.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Well, this is interesting. There are some things I agree with and others that I don't agree with. While I do agree that women are "slut shamed" and there is a massive double standard since it is acceptable for men to have as many sexual conquests as they want.

    Now, what I don't necessarily agree with is putting on an act to get a girl in bed. That is sort of how the one part of your MyTake comes off. Basically, a guide of how to change your behaviour to get in a woman's pants.

    That may work on some women, but it is not genuine. You just need to be who you are and no slut shame in the first place. Don't try to be someone you are not with the sole purpose of getting someone into bed.

    Furthermore, even putting on that act isn't going to do it for a lot of girls. Certainly not me. I have to have an emotional connection with a guy before I even consider intimacy. That is formed over time and based on many things that will ultimately lead me to believe there is a chance at a longterm relationship.

    Only then will I consider intimacy with him. Just because you were nonjudgmental or open minded isn't enough.

    • It's not about acting in any way, it's about not slut-shaming and not bragging about getting laid, that's all. Of course just being non-judgemental isn't enough to get laid, there's obviously a lot more to it, but in situations where a girl might be open to it, guys talk themselves out of getting laid a lot by doing both of those things when they could just keep their mouths shut. Guys trying to get laid are way more likely to put on a act in a way that leads the woman to believe that they want a serious relationship when they don't. The funny thing is that part of their act is pretending to be against promiscuity also.

  • I understand where your coming from, because my first time was with an asshole like this. He told everyone within the area as if I was some trophy he won in a game. Just bragging about my body how he took my virginity and how he had a good time. The sad thing was I really liked him and I kinda still do which sucks. I do despise him but I kinda still like him even if he was acting nice. Not because it was an act but because even if it was an act he was the first man to treat me like a human being or so I thought.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • When somebody shames somebody else in order to do this and be right about it you have to know everything about them which I'm sure nobody knows everything about anybody so why even do it why even bring attention to yourself by calling somebody else out on something that nobody else knows about only they do why even judge somebody for something that somebody does and you don't even know the full extent of it I think that's b******* it's kind of like a double standard how come guy can go to girl to girl to girl to try to find out who he likes but a woman can't do that she deserves the same respect if you judge somebody if you have an opinion of somebody and you don't know exactly who they are or exactly what they're doing you only have an idea then why even open your mouth anyway it's wrong totally wrong it's disgusting because you're trying to make somebody else look bad and you look good it's just totally wrong and uncalled for

  • Slut shaming doesn’t change the behavior. It just forces women to keep it to themselves, as they probably should anyway, regardless.

    • Slut shaming should be the Norm. Not just directed against women but against men who sleep around as well. STD's wouldn't be so rampant in the US if both men and women practiced monogamy instead of meaningless flings with dozens of partners or even hundreds. People can just be clad that there isn't an STD that can 100% kill you after a few years from infection. AIDS is the closest to that.

  • I think the reason women get slut shamed is because they can get laid easily. A woman can literally just download Tinder and bring her body count to 5-10 in a single night if she so chooses. Men get fist bumps for getting laid because we have to work REALLY hard for that sh*t. It seems like a pretty simply concept to me. At the end of the day, people can do what they want. I don't judge people by their body counts but I do understand why men get fist bumps and women get shamed, even if I don't partake in the shaming myself, I still understand. All a woman has to do is say yes. A man has to sell his soul and bring her the moon and still more than likely go home alone afterwards.

  • And women talk about guys who are players, and everyone had a right to form opinions about the behavior of others.

    • That’s not what this is about.

    • Most of the time, when people ask quetions about "slut shaming," they are suggesting that others should not form any opinion about a girl because of her promiscuous behavior.

    • Personally I think that they shouldn’t, but again that’s not what this take is about and people are going to think what they want to think about that. I’m speaking more about how slut-shaming discourages women from feeling comfortable around you when it comes to sex. Even within relationships in some cases, if you slut-shame, a girl might want to spice things up in the bedroom but will shy away from it out of fear that it might cause the guy to lose respect for her.

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  • It is impossible for a sentient entity to be "non-judgemental."

    • That may be true, and maybe a woman might reveal something that turns you off, in which case you’ll just end up not doing anything with her. I’m not saying that you should have no standards at all.

      All I am saying is that if you’re trying to get laid, or perhaps you want your girlfriend or wife to feel comfortable with kinky sex in the bedroom (this applies to long-term relationships too), it’s best not to slut-shame. The main point being that women hide that side of themselves unless they’re comfortable.

      Example:

      Do guys REALLY like kinky girls? ↗

      Despite her being open to it and enjoying it, slut-shame around a girl like this and she’ll avoid doing anything remotely kinky with you out of fear you might judge her negatively.

  • Tbh all i hear is how much girls are sluts and not anything about men being pigs it's crazy

    • If you're referring to the fact that men can fuck without being shamed, there's a reason

  • Hooray!

  • Exactly 💯😊💯 Thanks. You're the real man. This take is so inspiring.

    • People who are saying here "it depends on her number" I'd just like to add no it doesn't! The true test of a man's character is how he treats sex workers and such.

  • If you have standards, then you should be open with those standards. You shouldn't prostitute your standards in hopes that it will get you laid. Casual sex is toxic, and there are social ramifications for a reason.

    • Re-read the second paragraph.

  • I was a male slut and I wish someone had shamed me instead of leaving me to myself to waste about five years on meaningless activity.

    • Why? You don't have your own brain that you need others to disapprove? Lmao

  • I find men's attitude toward sex in relationships is equal to outside. Women, however, because sex is more currency, will have 2 men who want it. One man gets it freely simply because it's all she wants, at least at that time, even, though not always, with "jerks".

    Meanwhile, with a man of higher character, respect, who a woman views as "potential boyfriend", she'll make him wait, because SHE WANTS to test his devotion.

    Result, the lazy guy putting in little effort gets open season, while the guy putting in far more effort gets teased & made to wait.

    I promise 1000% if girls respected men & gave out sex equally (whether to every guy, or not at all, as men do), she wouldn't be labeled a "slut" - men resent this because the woman has double standards prioritized around HER needs & wants, and will make a better man, putting in far more sincere effort, wait, while a "jerk" gets it freely.

  • in my opinion I don't judge nor do I ever think of judging any women. If you happen to be the sexually adventurous exotic dancer (shut your mouth guys) or the waitress at the local Dennys, what does it matter? Id rather find how adventurous a woman is with her sexuality rather than find she's insecure and bottled up.

    I want a girl that is confident and, comfortable with her body, and not afraid to show it.

  • i worked in a factory with around 300 central and south Americans divided pretty evenly between men amd women. A few were on the slutty side. this guy "mancho" would fuck girls in the factory where ever amd whenever. the girls said he was trash but theyd still fuck him. so i got lucky with this pretty little thing and didn't say anything. nobody knew... then i slept with the rest of them quitely when they knew i wasn't going to let everyone know they were sluts. everyone at that place was a slut, just some didn't want everyone to know.

  • Getting laid is one thing, but if you are seeking a partner, good fucking luck. The vast majority of modern women have been run through long and hard.

  • Except women slut shame other women more than men. The reason behind it is because if a woman becomes too easy, other women will have to lower their standards and they don't want that.

  • The world is full of mean people and double standards.

  • a lot of men dont want a woman that's been on the cock courasel. Just like most women dont want a man that's a virgin. And meh shaming is part of life. It's never going to stop

    • Be Non-Judgemental And Discreet

    • It's never going to stop

    • I never said that it would. I said that you’ll have an easier time getting laid if you don’t. It’s a strategic decision. Plus, the part which guys aren’t understanding, if a woman has been or still is promiscuous, but wants a relationship with you, if she feels like you’re gonna hold it against her she’s gonna lie. You meet a girl who has had a bunch of one night stands, she’s been with 30 guys. You tell her you don’t like promiscuous women, she tells you that she’s “not that kind of girl” and has only been with a couple of men.

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  • How many do you think is inappropriate? Does that mean 5 by age 20 or does that mean 10 by age 20 or so on. People have different experiences, I know a genuinely good hearted woman who had to 2 guys lie to her about their intent. She would have never dated them had they been truthful. One guy lied about being engaged for 6 months. His fiancé was out of state and as a result she never knew. Does that make her slutty because she was misled. At first glance you can judge harshly but a little further investigation you get to know the truth.

    my best advice to everyone here is be honest with partners and think of people as good until proven otherwise.

  • Let's be clear about what this is actually about... men hold women to a higher standard than women hold men. That is a women problem, not a men problem. Women absolutely should hold men to a higher standard with respect to promiscuity.

    Men will never change in their dislike of promiscuous women. We instinctively know that promiscuous women are a poor choice as a partner and a mother. It's in our genes, and the facts support that instinct. That will always be true. The only thing that should change is women raising their standards.

  • At first I was gonna tell you to F off with this lame sh*t. But then I read a little and then I read a little more. And I found it was sound advice and worth applying.

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