Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Please note that I'm using the word promiscuous to replace the 's' word [simply because I don't like it]. NO disrespect to anyone who has had many sexual partners, just using it for lack of a better word. Keep this in mind or else this take will seriously offend you. Thank you.
Ok, so as you all know, promiscuity, among females in particular, is becoming more and more shamed than ever. This site is only one of many sites on the internet, among many OTHER groups in real life who have an enormous problem with this group of people. Do I agree with the lifestyle myself? No. But do I have anything against it? No. To each their own.
So why don't I shame it too?
Because I give value to the past. ⏰⏪
a lot of people like to disregard the past in someone's life, or even their own. With all due respect, I don't believe this is a healthy mindset, because in my opinion, the past is what guides you to the present and teaches you how to approach your future. ⏪🔽⏩ Anyway...
I'd like to use a FICTIONAL SCENARIO [for anyone who likes to take all my takes literally -.-] to illustrate where I'll be heading with this.
Her Story:
Let's say one day I meet up with an old friend who used to go to the same high school as me. She was really shy, conservative, didn't talk much, and easily the most intelligent in the class. Now we're both say 23, and we've decided to catch up over coffee. ☕️☕️
"Alot has been going on. I just don't give a damn about anything really. I'm happy. I've slept with about 8 guys now, well it'll be 9 tonight. Just got tired of holding out on everything you know? It all started with this one guy who just made me feel amazing, like nothing I'd ever felt before, and I caved Eva. Haha, I couldn't help myself. So you know, one thing lead to another... he got me pregnant, but he left, the asshole. Naturally, I had to abort. I can't take care of a freaking baby on my own! Anyway, so now I'm just living my life girl. I do whatever I want. Sometimes I get it for money, sometimes just cause I wanna fuck. It's all good. It's great."
. . .
What She Didn't Tell You:
"A lot has been going on. I just don't know what to do with my life anymore. I'm not happy, and I think I hate myself. I've slept with about 8 guys now, well it'll be 9 tonight. I can't help it, I just want it, you know? It helps me feel good about myself, numbs the pain, hides it all away for a night. Like being drunk. You just... don't feel anything... until you wake up, then to get rid of THAT pain, I do it all again. I guess I just got tired of holding out on everything you know? I hated being the little good smart girl with bows in her hair, clothes that were so shapeless and showed nothing of me. I had all this... energy boiling inside me, and I knew I needed to release it. This is the only way I know how to do it best. It all started with this one guy who just made me feel amazing, like nothing I'd ever felt before, and I caved Eva . After dad left home when I was 5, I had no man in my life to make me feel like a princess. I had no older brother to protect me, or play with me. I didn't feel special. No one said anything nice about me. Just the same old "your hair, your eyes, your outfit, your body looks so good". I wanted something more. Just to be appreciated, but even my Masters in Pharmacy became useless. When Dave, this first guy, told me I was one in a million, a breath of fresh air, and someone truly unlike other girls, I swooned. Haha, I couldn't help myself. He gave me a feeling I had never experienced, and I wanted to give him something too. For some reason, I felt giving myself away was the best gift I could give him. So you know, one thing lead to another... and that's when I realised I was gifting myself too. The condom broke, and he got me pregnant. I was devastated, scared and in tears for days. I told him I didn't want this baby to die, I needed us to stay together to raise it, but he left us, the asshole. I had no choice but to abort... I don't have a job. Anyway, once I aborted the new life within me, I just entered a numbness where I just don't care anymore. I'm in this place where it's becoming a routine, so now I'm just living my life girl, to make something of it, to just deal with the fact that this is where I am. I do whatever I want. Sometimes I get it for money, sometimes just cause I wanna fuck. It's not the ideal life, but it's where I am, and until death comes or until I try to get out of this mess, this is how I'm going to live."
🌹Everyone has a story. No one is born a promiscuous person. No one is born 'emo'. No one is born homeless. Something ALWAYS happens, which turns into a chain of somethings that wraps itself around someone's wrists and tries to prevent them from living, leading them to what is perceived by society to be 'low'.
🌹No one is going to straight up tell you everything about themselves. They might give you a rough idea of what's going on, sure, just like the girl in this scenario. But, to think that you can even remotely come to accurate conclusions based on that would be extremely foolish.
Then again, this is the problem with humanity isn't it?
We're so quick to judge. It's actually disgusting. It's unbelieveable, shallow, and just irks me to no end. We respond so fast to a photo, a line, a way of living, a choice, that we completely lose sight of just where the hell [intended] that person might have been to reach this point.
But guess what?
You don't have to be like that.
"They're all shaming that "slut" [uggghhh]. I'll do it too."
"Everyone shuns prostitutes and escorts. So do I!"
SAY WHAT? ? ? 😑
I get it, SOCIETY likes to "label" and "generalise". Whatever. What I'm saying is... hmm. How do I put it?
~j.B🍌
What Girls & Guys Said
20 48"Ok, so as you all know, promiscuity, among females in particular, is becoming more and more shamed than ever."
I stopped right there. Such delustions so early gives the pace for what follows.
At no point in time since the concept of the nuclear familly 1st started have society given sluts such a big and encouraging platform to thrive upon.
I think. I ironed out what constitutes ethical promiscuity in a separate take.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a24166-ethics-of-female-sexual-identity-make-the-player-wait-reward-the
Basically it doesn't become a problem until hypergamy is involved.
behind the promiscuous woman... you just gave a label in your title.
I get your point but it's hard not to label things in your life cause it helps you understand things in a way. Every behavior has a label whether we like it or not. Just like you have a name that defines you.
And your behavior defines you in a way, like you said being promiscuous comes with a past. Therefore it defines you. Now how what where... there is where we can't judge or tell.
obviously, so people know what I'm talking about. i just don't think of it as defining a person like their name. thanks anyway.
I do agree with what you've said but we as a society also can't ignore such destructive behavior or glorify it. It leads a bad example for other people who might follow in turn. Gotta find a way to help them turn that part of themselves around.
never said we should ignore or glorify it. I'm saying we shouldn't judge it as if we ourselves never do anything wrong.
I know I was just adding onto what another user said below me, and you're right of course we shouldn't judge and of course no one if free of sin or wrongful doings. But you must also remember that there are those that do deserve to be scolded for it as well.
"there are those that do deserve to be scolded for it" ... same idea as the justin beiber thing. not buying it sorry.
*shrugs* doesn't matter to me whether you buy it or not, and while your mindset to always see the best in others is admirable it's not realistic some people do bad or sinful things simply because they want to, no back story or underlying reason, it's just how they are. And speaking of Justin, a week ago he got kicked out of a archaeological site in Mexico and probably banned for climbing on top of a Mexican ruin dropping his pants and mooning people and flashing his dick for 15 minutes while his bodyguards were preventing the workers of the site and security from getting him down.
Nice scenario and great Take as always, I agree, most people tend to have such double standards, basically - they are never satisfied... either you are too good/too slutty, or too skinny/too fat, or too tall/too short etc.
thank you =] that's right. quite sad.
You're welcome :) Yep, I know :(
The question is: What is the alternative? Do we - as a society - just ignore self-destructive behaviour like that? Or even glorify it? Doesn't matter if promiscuity, obesity, anorexia, self-harming, etc.
Let's say if people wouldn't find and express obesity as off-putting and disgusting - would these people have the intent or desire to actually do something about their state?
Sure, bullying is not nice and I would like for people to refrain of it. But people making clear their dislikement for certain things I feel like is a necessarity - and often that is unfortunately expressed with bullying, because humanity still operates in hierachies and picks on the weakest.
So I get your compassion, but I think you are complaining about society being black and white and thus never please, but in a way you are doing that yourself as well since you only focus on compassion without the actual consequences of that.
my answer is in your question. compassion. understanding. NOT judging. i mentioned nothing about ignoring, in fact i did the complete opposite of that, when i said i give value to the past. doesn't mean i ignore the present. there would be no logic in that. say u do try to make it clear u dislike it though, u think that's what's gonna stop them? no. i think helping them understand their worth and giving them hope, helping them see opportunities and why life is worth living differently will stop them. not just making it clear that we dislike it. there are never terrible consequences of compassion, which is why i didn't focus on that, nor am i going to.
"there are never terrible consequences of compassion" That's where I disagree. Blinded compassion can also have terrible consequences, because it takes away the necessarity for hardships and coddles people potentially too much. We don't grow as people on having a pink-cotton candy world, but on all of our hardships along the way. Those are what makes us grow stronger as people.
what if I'm not talking about blinded compassion? can't a person be compassionate with a vision or what?
yes but the reason why they got obese or anorexic is because they were bullied, judged, unloved etc.. it goes both ways actually, like a vicious cycle. Usually your outer physique reflects your inner state. Plus, there is a difference between advice/guidance and belittling/bullying. There should be constructive criticism and not mockery. So yea sry, I disagree.
I will start with an anecdote: When I was in the first grade of elementary school I got picked on for being one of the chubbier kids. When my mom picked up on it, she told me one thing clearly. "They only bully you, because you let yourself being bullied". No, she didn't coddle me or whatever - she told me that I am responsible for my own well-being. The problem I see these days is that this is not the case anymore. We don't teach responsibility. We coddle people, but we don't give them the tools to be self-reliant. With all due respect to your compassion - which is a great trait - it can in fact have terrible consequences, if not put into perspective.
Nothing traumatic happened to me, but I love men... I actually love other sex acts besides fucking more, so the standard definition of promiscuous wouldn't apply to me if U just counted regular sex. But I think all the acts count as sex, so I still count them all as partners...
If a guy judges me, I assume he's just jealous. Maybe he thinks he won;t be able to please me enough. Or he has < partners? But, if he acted the same way, how can he judge me?
I love the pics U put in ur article by the way. They look awesome, and if it wasn't posted on this site, I'd have thought a professional writer wrote this.
It sure as hell ain't jealousy -.-
God I wish I was him in the top photo
I dislike how you assumed that promiscuous women must be emotionally damaged in some way. That in itself is judging. Something you're so against.
And linking promiscuity with prostitution? Really?
I didn't assume, hence y its 1 scenario i chose. Chill.
Well it's the only scenario you chose
And?
And you didn't mention any other scenarios, which implies that you do assume that issues are the main reason
i think it's best not to judge what someone is implying, even when they tell u it isn't what they are implying. thanks.
loool okay
You really think girls sleep around because of the sexual sensation?
@Nickswano Well that's my reason for it.
Yes but I believe it's a unanimous decision amongst girls that relationship sex is Much better than one night stands, wouldn't you agree with me on that?
@Nickswano If have go have tried relationship sex to answer that
U never tried relationship sex? That's prob why
That last part of your MyTake (FUCK SOCIETY!) made me tear up a little *Sniffles* they grow up so fast. :v
Excellent MyTake, you never know whats going on in the life of a person until they tell you.
A lot of judgment comes from peoples' distorted sense of reality. No one wants to ask questions to get a better picture and everyone wants to spin stories to make themselves look better (like in the example you used). But the problem is by spinning stories a lot of people will take this as the truth and will judge from there. Or in the absence of the full story, people will fill in the details with their own insecurities to create something that isn't likely to be true. If we took your first story, without the proper details, and told 10 people to fill in the blanks, we'd probably get 10 different stories ranging from this chick comes from a broken home to this chick gets so much attention and just uses guys. But this all just presumption. No one probes further to get a clearer picture of why she is the way she is. But do they have to? Perhaps if the girl was more forthcoming with the "less admirable" details then her situation might resonate with more people's sympathy instead of the slut-shaming she'll inevitably get (but to be honest, her story came across like she was bragging and noone likes a bragger so perhaps that's why she'd be judged, to knock her ego down a few pegs).
Then there's the problem of shaming "slut-shamers" (sorry while I digress a bit). If you're a slut-shamer then that just means "you're a bitter virgin who can't get laid" (another judgement). But just like the promiscuous girl, no one ever stops to ask why they're in that position. We don't know anything about them or their story and yet we put them down like they deserve it. We make assumptions and judgements without proper information or context.
I think that's the crux of the problem with society and maybe what you were going for with your take. Everyone makes judgements based on their own skewed reality without any sense of compassion or understanding for the other person. But it certainly doesn't help our cause when we try to spin our stories to be something that they're not. If we were more open about our individual situations and society was more understanding and compassionate then maybe there wouldn't be such a shaming epidemic.
But what do I know. I'm just a crazy guy with crazy ideas.
good take except slut shaming is getting worse. I think it's easing up more. The only problem is, majority of girls can be a slut, where only a minority of men can, hence men get the shits when they can't get as much action as their female counterpart.
I don't think the slut shaming is worse than ever. Go back 50 years, if your friend got knocked up she would go away somewhere for a "vacation" and come back after the baby was adopted out at birth. Go to the 80s and promiscuous women were viewed as dangerous because of AIDS. Go into the 90s and Hillary Clinton would drag women through the mud without objection after her husband had done his worst.
Women have totally destroyed the value of sex. It used to be worth a marriage and lifetime commitment, then a marriage, then a relationship, then 3 dates, a dinner, a drink, a swipe of the thumb on an app. Feminists told women to have sex like a
Man and completely killed any value it had for women. It's never been easier for a woman to sleep around than today and women are left unhappy and emotionally stunted as a result. Almost any woman would swap 10 one night stands for one good guy who loves her and wants to be with her. If women really liked lots of random sex, they would aspire to prostituion which not only gives them that, but they get paid as well. The truth is prostituion is about the least desirable job for women of all the jobs in the world.
I don't know that it's really like that though.
I mean, what makes "resisting" and "caving in" so virtuous, that only the broken would do it?
In my experience (and I've been around), the promiscuous woman isn't damaged goods, stewing in pain.
More often than not, they get up to these sorts of antics because they weren't brainwashed from early childhood to believe sex is shameful.
that is why i chose ONE scenario. i can't believe i have to explain everything i don't actually write.
I did read the beginning, and given you're talking about slut shaming, I think the point would be better made without a story about a woman that's promiscuous because she has problems, because it's a tired stereotype :)
this is what mytake is about. don't like it, don't read it. thanks.
Nah uh. It's my opinion of your opinion, because that's what this website is for :D
I'm the same way. My dad is a deadbeat. He leaches off my mom for food and money, and he barely takes care of the two of us. When we call him out he just denies it and makes excuses. My mom is too scared to leave him because what would we do then? I just want a man to love me and to take care of me. I have my boyfriend though. He takes care of me.
there u go. i hope ur boyfriend can make up for what ur dad didn't give you.
I love your double standards banana.
In one take urge men to "repair themselves" and be nice guys instead of assholes.
And in another blame the "society" for lack of sympathy towards sluts.
Oh you are a girl... How convenient !!
oh how little is your mind.
All the guys with this avatar are fucking douches... like seriously
But he does have a point. I remember that other take as well. And I'm sorry but you failed to adress his argument, instead choosing to use an ad hominem.
yeah I'm not addressing shit with anyone here anymore. over it. @thisdudehere
So you don't want to defend your claims? That just means he was automatically right if you don't want to defend yourself. At least admit then.
lol silly, just because i don't waste my time, doesn't mean i have nothing to say. I'm perfectly capable of defending myself. I'm saying some people here aren't worth the conversation. if that makes the other person 'right' to u, then cool, they're right. @thisdudehere
"doesn't mean i have nothing to say." It is hard to take the claim seriously that one has plenty to say when they refuse to say anything at all. My automatic assumption is that you don't actually have anything to say. Up to you to prove me or takumii wrong. by the way I'm not hating on you. Just objectively stating my two cents.
@thisdudehere whatever.
Then I was right.
was this written by a promiscuous woman or you quoting one? i'm a bit confused.
... "I'd like to use a FICTIONAL SCENARIO [for anyone who likes to take all my takes literally -.-] to illustrate where I'll be heading with this".
so you're writing about your perception of a promiscuous woman?
certainly not. i don't need to explain my life details though. thanks.
no problem! was just curious who's pov this was written from. thank you =)
"We're so quick to judge. It's actually disgusting.."
Yes and no, but herein lies the problem. The publicized opinions are very often so, shall we say, sterilized. The many takes I read here, including this one, are always written in the style that seemingly hopes to avoid any confrontation with Anyone - sterilized. That is not possible without leaving details of one's full view on the matter unmentioned, if any honest opinion is present in the first place.
"promiscuity, among females in particular, is becoming more and more shamed than ever" - Four questions. Yes? And? So? What?
I didn't care to read from where the fairy tale starts, it offers no new significant information to address the.. sl.. I mean, promiscuity issue.
"a lot of people like to disregard the past in someone's life," What is there to disregard if there is no knowledge of it in the first place? Weekly history seminars of what she did 10 years ago? One's past is not everybody's business.
The bottom line is, society, especially Hollywood-brained society, is judgmental. That is fact. Whether the "promiscous ladies" can handle the pressure they brought about by their own free will is their problem. To every other bystander, she's a slut. That's the way it goes.
This is a great take. People should realise that everybody is fighting a battle they no nothing of.
ye fuck society you stole my script.
hey bby you're one in a million, a breath of fresh air, and someone truly unlike other girls.
afterall I think you've truly improved on yourself due to this post I can see you are able to think behind the box and you earn my respect.
you know why I hate marriage (wedding bling bling) and prom? cause there is only a bunch of fagits taking pics of you and some other person who is also not really enjoying this slow and boring dance, rather get some Jagermeister shots and later go somewhere else where it's about having fun together and not making yourself look good for others.
the convo with the girl is a usual thing, you don't show your weak side to someone who is not in your inner circle but it still was enough information to see behind it, still it can be interpretd in many ways.