Being in a monogamous relationship with a hot person or getting laid with many hot people?

[marish01]

I was reading numerous essays about "alpha" men and I'm so turned off that I believe my libido is gone.

It is so unattractive how so called alpha men measure the meaning of their life based on the high number of women they slept with. According to them loving and respecting women is beta using them alpha.

[MrOracle]

Before I answer the question, I'm going to address a point that others have mentioned and in most cases, have gotten wrong.

A genuine alpha man doesn't ever (or, only in very rare, specific circumstances) refer to himself as an alpha - it's OTHER PEOPLE who clearly see that he's an alpha and refer to him that way. He doesn't say it because he doesn't have to - it's clear to anyone who sees him. You don't hear Michael Jordan or LaBron James talk about how good they are on the basketball court - they don't have to, because anyone who has seen them play can't help but notice.

There's an idea that "there's no such thing as an alpha" - but that's crap. Alphas absolutely exist, and we all know it. Sure, there are fakers - usually people who call themselves alphas - but just because there are fakers doesn't mean the real deal doesn't exist.

Also, not all of the most desirable men are alphas - many are, but many aren't. Some men are desirable simply because they were gifted with amazing looks and bodies, but they could be total bums who have never achieved anything in life. Some are desirable because they have an entertainment-oriented talent (athletic, musical, or acting, usually). Not all of those guys are alphas either. But if you look at the businessmen who are among the highly desirable, most of THEM *are* alphas, because they had to work hard and smart and fight for their success, and they had to be driven and focused, and those are traits common to alphas. But alpha and "top 10%" aren't synonyms - there is certainly overlap between those groups, but they aren't the exact same thing.

What IS true is that, whether or not they are alphas, if they're in the Top 10% in SMV (which is another way of saying "desirability"), then they are very likely to have high body counts, and to not take women or relationships very seriously, or get overly attached to any specific woman. That's because they have an endless supply, and it's nothing for them to replace a woman with a new one, for any reason. These are the guys that nearly all men want (whether they realize it or not), but they tend not to make any commitments at all to any woman, and in the rare times they make an exception, it's going to be for a true 10/10 woman - a model/supermodel, a lead actress, or a very popular singer. And they'll usually cheat on her too. Most guys would be plenty happy with a Swedish model, but Tiger Woods had whole busloads of women following him around and throwing themselves at him, so eventually he took advantage of his options. Same thing with Brad Pitt with every top actress he's been with. Same thing with thousands of examples.

But once you get out of the top 10% of men, you are talking about men with far fewer options and far less temptation, and those are the men who will remain loyal. Of course, most women don't want these guys - they all want the top 10% - except in their minds, the think such a man will also be loyal, and that's just delusional. Those guys have so many options and temptation that loyalty isn't even an option - don't kid yourself. Understand that if you aren't willing to date a guy outside of the top 10% (roughly), then you're going to be sharing your guy with someone else. That's just part of that package, and that guy isn't sold separately - you buy the whole package or nothing.

[marish01]

A hot smart man can't be into monogamy?

[MrOracle]

Anything is possible, but in practice, it is virtually nonexistent. Just as hypergamy is the base, instinctual mating strategy for women (finding the best man she can to father her children), for men, the base, instinctual mating strategy is to spread his seed - to bang as many women as possible. Those top guys are the only ones that can really achieve this, and they do, and they always have. The top men in society have always had multiple wives, harems, concubines, or mistresses. You can see that in every historical society that we have records for, going back to Sumer and Egypt. This is already a small group of men, but then if you want the tiny percentage of monogamous men within that group, you are talking about dozens of men WORLDWIDE, of all ages. Not hundreds and certainly not thousands. And, again, they so rare and so desirable that they can demand 10/10 women - young, very beautiful, feminine, and low body count - and get them. Having a strategy of holding out for that guy is like having a career strategy of winning a Lotto jackpot - it's not technically impossible, but tens of millions would starve to death using that strategy.

[marish01]

I've seen many hot men who had average looking wives.

[MrOracle]

Sure - because she was willing to accept his side chicks and not hassling him about it.

[marish01]

They are loyal.

[MrOracle]

No, they are merely discreet.

[marish01]

It is possible to prefer monogamy even if you're hot and get lots of attention.

[MrOracle]

It's also POSSIBLE to win two SuperLotto Jackpots back-to-back - but the odds against that happening are astronomically high. You're talking about the very, VERY rare exceptions, which always technically exist, but in practice, are rarely found. What I'M referring to is the vast, overwhelming majority, which is what anyone reading this is almost certainly going to experience. Using generalizations (which always acknowledges the existence of rare exceptions) is the only sensible way to have discussions here.

[marish01]

Why is an unattractive man more into meaningless loveless sex than meaningful loving sex?

[MrOracle]

Some are, but many are not. But in many cases, you also have to look at the girl's value and history - many women, because of their own choices, no longer qualify for a serious relationship in the eyes of most men. That same guy might give a relationship to a different girl. But some do just want casual sex. It could be because his life isn't in a place to commit to a serious relationship, or he just doesn't want one, or maybe he's desperate to live like a higher value guy. It's hard to say, but you can't change him, so if he doesn't want a relationship, move on and find one who does.

[marish01]

I can't be attracted to him anymore if he is into casual sex. I think many guys lost interest in dating because of having met women who had no intetesting thing in them other than their holes.

[MrOracle]

That, yes, or who had such low standards (other than perhaps looks or lifestyle) that she gave sex away very easily to LOW-QUALITY men - and by quality, I'm referring to morals, values, and being willing to commit. Those things make a woman "low value" (as a relationship partner) to most men, no matter what else she may have going on. There are plenty of shallow and selfish men out there - nearly all of the most desired men are that way, but some smaller percentage of normal guys too - which is why it's so important for women to use morals, values, and life goals to vet men, rather than looks or wallet size/lifestyle.

[MCheetah]

Option A. Empty sex isn't fulfilling, in the long-term. Having empty sex might last some men a few years, but is pathetic by the time you hit 40-something. I guess it's better than being alone, though.

"It is so unattractive how so called alpha men measure the meaning of their life based on the number of women they slept with."

Yeah, those are called losers. Immature men who have nothing else of value in their entire life but their "body count." Granted, there's many paths to personal success and self-fulfillment, whether that be money, family, career, or a high body count. But I think no one should have to rely on other people for their self-worth and that's what these men are doing. Their egos are a house of cards and will collapse the moment they lose their looks, sexual game, or wealth.

That's not real confidence; that's insecurity masquerading. (I feel insecure at times myself, so I know the difference well.) Real confidence comes from within and can't be taken away by getting fat or losing all your money.

That's how we get these fake "Alpha-Male Betas" like Andrew Tate. Their entire worth is based on superficial BS and not actual accomplishments or inner value. They're so transparent, you'd have to be an idiot even dumber than them to not see through their phoniness.

CUCK

[SphynxUK]

I’ve been in relationships with alpha males. Some had been with many women, others just an average amount. None of them spoke about using women, or even about how many they’d slept with. Any hookup was a two way thing. Decent men don’t talk that way about women or their personal lives.

[marish01]

What made them alpha?

[DaveJord]

@sphynxUK thank you Sphynx for stand up against male bashing. Ass holes are assholes, don't confuse Alpha Males with assholes.

[marish01]

@DaveJord many self proclaimed alpha men are just low quality promiscuous assholes. I referred to them in the description.

[DaveJord]

@marish01 Right I am not question what you are trying to say. But as an accomplish, successful Alpha Male I am offended and think it's "you" problem you need to work out for yourself and not try to put it on what you consider is an Alpha Male problem. It false and it inaccurate.

[SphynxUK]

@marish01 I personally consider an alpha male to be confident, dominant but not in a controlling or bullying way. They just know what they want. A natural leader type, clever, with a good head on their shoulders. You can always spot them in a group.

[katiesmuff]

Hot or not I've had sex with a lot of guys and a few female friends, but nothing has been more refreshing, loving, sensual and sexual as the last 10 monogamous years with my husband the love of my life.

[marish01]

Do you still cherrish your past intimacy with other men or do you wish he was the only man of your life?

[katiesmuff]

I don't regret my past at all!

[marish01]

So you are glad your husband is not the only man you had?

[DaveJord]

You obviously do not know what a Alpha Male is... you're just tropeing more man hating bull shit... get your facts and shit together.

[marish01]

I mentioned the type of alpha man I was referring to.

[DaveJord]

It a false equivalent... you are making shit up and promoting a false imagine about a confident, successful and accomplished men who are honestly positive role molds within society. What you are doing is false, because a misrepresentation of what a true is true and accurate. Your male bashing.

[DaveJord]

*Role models not mold

[marish01]

I was referring to the fake alpha men who are low quality men

[DaveJord]

Well, if they are Fake Alpha Males then it's not about Alpha Males at all. No where do you say the word Fake in your post... you referring to Alpha Males, and you are being callout about it so put and update to the question and clarify your meaning because it is offensive to me, when it is presented as man bashing.

[TrippyStarry]

If you were a dignified person you would never have asked this question. Reflect on your life please.

[marish01]

Calm down. I wanted to know what most people on here would choose. Since you're bitter you probably know how monogamous I am.

[TrippyStarry]

Thanks for equating dignity with bitterness. It shows me how you value dignity as well as yourself.

[marish01]

I referred to your bitterness.

[TrippyStarry]

And I referred to your mindset

[marish01]

And how is my mindset?

[TrippyStarry]

You’re mindset is fantasising scenarios you’ve seen in videos you secretly watch online. Content produced by degenerates packaged in a nicely edited video with a sound track. Get a hold of yourself. Start reading a book on the Roman Empire. Get educated. Change your company. Overall become a totally different person otherwise you’ll end up a miserable Karen.

[Guy13]

monogamy please.

[Irishgirl02]

I couldn't imagine being with another guy. There's a lot to be said for a monogamous committed relationship

[CA4444]

I’d expect ‘alpha’ would be having the relationships you want on your own terms whatever that means

[Berethor]

With how female hypergamy works, it make sense for a alpha man to not be monogamous. Personally I prefer monogamy, as long as the woman able to keep me satisfied.

[tenor55]

Well, since I have been in a monogamous relationship with a hot woman for over 50, there ya have it! We have been each other's only sex partner. I mean, when you find the best, no need to look further. (I was 16 and she was 15 the first time)

[SnowedIn]

I'd rather the monogamous relationship.

[NathanDavis]

I kick mammoths and eat them for breakfast... that's my measure as an alpha

@blackcupcake did you have dinner yet...

[Blackcupcake]

lmfao… not yet I was waiting for some grilled mammoth made by the alpha @nathandavis

[NathanDavis]

@Blackcupcake there is salad as well, though...

[Blackcupcake]

@nathandavis oh lord… I meant a salad, girls don’t eat meat

[NathanDavis]

@Blackcupcake what on earth... lmao

[Blackcupcake]

that’s our duo lmfao

[NathanDavis]

@Blackcupcake ungodly

[Blackcupcake]

@nathandavis unholy…

[NathanDavis]

@Blackcupcake underlives...

[Blackcupcake]

@nathandavis poocent

[NathanDavis]

@Blackcupcake cossant

[Blackcupcake]

lmfao… @nathandavis chicacharron

[NathanDavis]

@Blackcupcake luenga

[Blackcupcake]

@nathandavis playtation…

[jshm2]

Depends, and I'm disappointed to read how simple you are.

There are MANY people who will never get into a relationship for a myriad of reasons. So called "alpha" are just people who are in a small minority. However, sexual prowess doesn't always relate to being in that minority.

[Summeroflove]

Definitely a and you have a good point. I want to get married and have kids. Not be a degenerate whore

[Miristheiss]

I've always been a one woman guy.

[DJB72]

Monogamy every time.

[HighValue]

Being in an exclusive (monogamous) relationship with a hot girl (that looks like and has morals like @marish01) would be better. Girls, be more like Marish01.

[Revvl6pro]

I watched a movie, and a lady was giving a lecture. She said that a tiny percentage of animals are "socially monogamous" and no animals (other than humans) are sexually monogamous.

(I don't understand what socially monogamous means)

I just know that everyone and their dog is divorced, and that's a sad thing.

[marish01]

I never cared whether animals are monogamous or not.

[Revvl6pro]

We are both animals. And you obviously cared enough to ask the question.

[marish01]

I don't care about animals' monogamy. I cared to know what option would get the most votes.

[Revvl6pro]

Which option were you hoping would be the most popular?

[marish01]

I wasn't hoping. I expected A would get 55% B 45% of votes.

[Revvl6pro]

Monogamy was lost when the Internet was invented by Al Gore. Look at the cute show, "Little House on the Prairie." How the heck did they meet? Probably at a barn dance? Now you can buy a smartphone for 30 bucks and swipe right. I can tell you about a conversation I had with a French guy I worked with, but it won't be something you like to hear.

[marish01]

Monogamy is the only condition I am willing to be sexual.

[Revvl6pro]

I feel your pain, but life is changing, and robots are already on the market.

[marish01]

It's not pain. I won't lower my standards and have sex with poly garbage.

[Revvl6pro]

And no one in the world cares.

[marish01]

How do you know?

[Revvl6pro]

Because there are 8 billion people in the world.

[marish01]

And no one in that 8 billion cares?

[Revvl6pro]

You tell me. You asked the question.

[marish01]

You said no one in the world cares that l prefer monogamy because there are 8 billiom people. Your logic sucks.

[Revvl6pro]

You're right, my logic sucks.

[Dargil]

Hot person hands down. She can learn sexual skills and always have them on hand.

[AnUglyBarnacle]

Of course, I'd rather have a relationship. One can't enjoy emotional intimacy with a stranger, and half the fulfillment of sex comes from the mental side.

[Finchie40]

Monogamous relationship with hot person because I believe in true love and family , Not STD’s and selfish people

[DavidRaul]

Being in a monogamous relationship with a decent personality. The so called "Alpha" mentality is bullshit. They just want to express that they are superior than other men and in reality they are the dumbest personalities on earth

[marish01]

Yes. I noticed that.

[Alchemizt]

Always a monogamous relationship with a hot person. Polygamy, sex without love for the other person, or cheating, such things are a complete turn off for me. I don't care whatever f people say about it being Beta or uncool, I stick to what I believe is right.