Best way to deal with invalidating my own trauma?

Question

TW: SA.

Several months ago, I was sexually assaulted by a stranger while on vacation. I repeatedly told him I didn’t want to go to his room, but I was too drunk and he led me there despite my pleas to be taken back to my own room. He then proceeded to assault me as I repeatedly told him to stop and pushing him away. I eventually asserted myself in a way that I guess intimidated him, because he stopped and went to bed. I snuck out in the middle of the night. I’ve been struggling with PTSD since, and I frequently invalidate my experience because I wasn’t raped, and because he did eventually stop. I keep thinking I’m being dramatic or blowing things out of proportion and that I shouldn’t be having such strong symptoms of trauma. How do people cope with this type of “imposter syndrome” and feeling invalidated?

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

Oh my god!!! You have EVERY legitimate reason to be struggling with PTSD.

I find this post genuinely upsetting. You are NOT 'blowing things out of proportion.' You were sexually assaulted! Just because you weren't raped doesn't mean that being sexually assaulted wasn't traumatic.

It's awful that you were sexually assaulted. But that you feel like you don't have the legitimate right to be feeling how you're feeling about what happened to you... is so fucking awful, honestly I am at a loss for words.

I'm... seriously having a hard time collecting my thoughts here. There is SO MUCH I want to say to you. I probably should have waited to collect myself before replying to this. I'm like choking on my own surprise and indignation (for you).

I might end up having to come back and write more, when I can be more articulate.

But. Please. Don't feel like you don't have a right to feel exactly the way you do. ANYBODY would feel traumatized by what happened to you. It was fucking traumatic. Your reaction and feelings are exactly what is to be expected after going through the sexual assault you went through. You don't need to be raped for a sexual assault to be extremely traumatic. You're right to feel the way you do. I really hope you stop trying to deny the validity of feeling how you feel.

Holy shit. This post really provoked such a strong reaction in me. I'm really at a loss for how to say all I want to say

I've known way too many women who have been sexually assaulted. I have never ever seen anybody who felt like their feelings about being assaulted weren't justified. Their feelings were totally appropriate, legitimate, justified and valid. YOUR FEELINGS ARE TOO!!! 🙂

Reece12345 · Accepted Answer

What this guy did to you was horrible. And he caused you terrible pain.

It's a mistake to judge the pain that you feel based on what caused it. Pain is pain. And the effects this pain has on our lives is very real, and can be very long lasting.

We can be hurt in so many ways, in an instant or over many years, by so many different causes. And something that may cause one person relatively little pain can be devastating to another, because our minds are unique.

So it makes no sense to compare the things that have happened to ourselves to anyone else's -- we are all different. The pain that you feel is just as valid as anyone else's.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Something similar happened to me but after I said no a few times and he didn't stop, I poked him in the eye with my fingers and that put a stop to his behavior immediately.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Something like that happened to me. Your trauma is every bit as real as someone who was raped. You were still assaulted. You were just lucky that he didn’t go all the way.

Best way to deal with invalidating my own trauma?

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