boyfriend is addicted to strip clubs and prostitutes?

I have been dating my boyfriend for a year. I didn’t know until recently that he was addicted to strip clubs and prostitutes. When I found out after a head of dating, apparently he’s gone to them many, many times before meeting me. He told me between the ages of 22-25 he’s probably seen more than 30+ (he doesn’t know the number exactly). He’s gone to strip clubs where they provide extras (i. e., bj, sex, etc). I recently found out he went to a strip club while dating me, and he hired a prostitute.

I am so devastated. He originally told me he’s been to a few strip clubs and only one prostitute in his lifetime. But, apparently that is a lie. I don’t know how to cope or deal with this. Why do men become addicted to those things?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It's probably a habit of his that's hard to break since he's been engaging with strip clubs before you were dating him. What I can't understand is why he didn't choose to disclose this information before you two officially became a couple. A relationship is all about trust and communication; what he did here was break both of those at the same time. There shouldn't be any need for him to go to strip clubs or to hire a prostitute anymore when he has you to be sexually satisfied with. If you love him enough, why not ask him why he continues to go to these places without ever telling you about them? It's emotionally painful when your loved one is seeing/doing sexual acts behind your back because then you're given the impression that you're not good enough for him to feel sexually happy with you.

    If you don't think he's going to change this habit of his, it'd probably be best to break it off with him if he can't prioritize your happiness over his addiction. Relationships are all about one on one intimacy! If he doesn't change his ways with you to improve the relationship as a whole, there's no reason to be with him. I'm really sorry this happened to you and hope that you'll get that closure you're looking for with him.

  • Reason men like 2 go 2 strip clubs. Cause their is always variety. Along with getting 2 see the girls get naked and show u some attention. As for prostitutes they are no strings attach. Usually they are willing 2 do a little more for a guy. Then his regular girl would do. Reason men become addicted cause they always know they are going 2 get have sex. Along with whatever extra tricks the girl is willing 2 do for the man.

    • I was willing to do a lot for him sexually (he is the one that didn’t always want to have sex). Also, women like variety too! (At least I do). But, I don’t go to make strip clubs or hire male prostitutes.

Most Helpful Girl

  • So you're staying with someone that cheated on you and will most likely continue in the future? I hope you at least make him wear a condom

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I'm not sure it's a real addiction. It sounds to me like he has a rampant sex drive and that's the way he's choosing to satisfy it.

  • Men? um... lol... i hate both..
    strip clubs are unnecessary and all women are prostitutes... soo... lol

    • You’re dumb.

    • You believe in sexual economics theory, and you hate women lol.

    • there's such a thing as sexual economics? and i dont hate women, i hate their attitude.

  • Why are you still there?

    • Still where?

    • With him? Had this question about five times a month.

  • Its probably like a person becomes addicted to most anything and the process is explained as Classical Conditioning. I won't go into the long process here but do a Google search on Classical Conditioning and you will understand how it can happen. Its really not complicated.

  • He needs sex.

  • I don't see whats the problem.

    • What?

    • Women: Why the fuck are men addicted to whores? Commit to just one woman goddammit! Also women: Stop slut shaming me! WTF! I can suck as many dicks as I like! None of your business!

    • Uhhhh?

  • He probably has an STD or will catch one

  • Go to therapy with him. This is not healthy.

    • With him? Why?

    • He needs to do something about his addiction. Its a sickness.

    • Why do I have to go with him?

    • Show All
  • He will not change so move on.

  • Fair play to him, at least he's told you about it.

    • He didn’t. I found out

    • "He told me".

    • Yeah. After I found out he cheated, then the rest of the truth came out. If it’s even the full truth at all...