Boyfriend masturbating while thinking about my friend. Is that normal?

so a few weeks ago i found out that my boyfriend masturbated while thinking about some of my friends while playing truth or dare. I was so upset that i wanted to broke up with him but he apologized a million times and told me that almost all guys do that; thinking about wild fantasy just to make them cum and he swore he would never cheat on me, he told me it was just a temporary wild fantasy and nothing is wrong with that. I thought that was true until i asked my ex and he said he had never done that before because he thought that is weird and doesn't feel right. Please help me i'm so confused
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Whether we actually do it or not, to confess it is just plain stupid. Did he think you would be pleased to hear that? It's a bit like if a girl asks you if her butt looks big in certain clothing, how much does she really want to know? Some girls would want to know, others would hate you for telling the truth. Some things you are just better off keeping to yourself!

    I can't remember fantasising about a girlfriend's friends, no. However, I'm very sure that it happens and that it's meaningless when it does. You just don't share that, fantasy is fantasy.

  • i wouldn't say it's normal but it's hard to know what other guys think while masturbation. i know i don't think about friends of my wife while self pleasuring myself and i can see how this would be very bothersome/disturbing to you since it means he is sexual-izing your friends. i'd have a problem with my partner envisioning my friends in sexual ways for their self pleasure

Most Helpful Girls

  • If he has Not done Anything else in this Real Relationship But... Masturbated while Thinking of some of my friends while playing truth or dare, this One, hun, may have Had his own Reasons of the Seasons, that he Felt it was pretty Kinky, to Think of your other Pinkie while He is with you, and Can still Have his Sweet Cake and Eat it Two. And John was Honest in Mentioning it to you, so he May have Felt some Guilt Here, dear.
    However, just Some good Advice, keep an Eye on this "Naughty and Nice."
    Good luck and happy Holidays, hun. xx

    • Welcome to Gag Town. xx

  • It's only normal if you actually want to have relations with that person. Now, with that being said, it can go either way.
    Do you trust it was just 'a game of truth or dare and a fantasy', or do you trust he really wants to have relations with her?

  • Some guys might think it's normal, but honestly I feel like it's disrespectful and my self esteem would go downhill :/

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I think that truthfulness should be rewarded , guys are animals and enjoy variety so stating monogomous is contrary to the way we are wired biologically so masturbating about fantasies with other girls is just the way we are wired , he can't help it... it's no different than him masturbating to porn which I'm sure he does too so cut him a break

  • It is weird. I feel like vomiting. Help him get out of that habit.

    • Yeah actually he cried and swore he would never do that again and i trust him

  • Guys will jerk off over almost any female, it is just the way we are. The fact that she was your friend I sure is upsetting, but don't be too hard on him. Guys get boners and we need to ejaculate.

    Can I make a suggestion? Just give your boyfriend a lot of blowjobs. I mean like twice a day if possible, morning and night. That will keep will balls satisfied and empty and reduce his boners. He won't be so keen to look at your friend after his sperm has been suck out of his balls by you,

  • There is nothing wrong with masturbating but why couldn't he thought of you in the process? that would make me feel bad.

  • "all guys do that"

    how dare your fucking boyfriend throw me under the bus.

  • That's messed up.

  • He is really pulling your chain, dear if confessing
    and his game is to spur you on to becoming more sexually aggressive with/to him, in order to wipe out all those sex daydreams from his big & little heads.

    It's not about cheating

  • Of course it's normal. I think it's kinda weird that you're still talking to your ex..

    • Yeah we're still friends and my boyfriend is okay with that lol

    • He sounds pretty understanding then.. Have you ever "thought" about any of your guy's friends?

    • Nahh, it feels weird tbh:/

  • Yeah i've done that. It just means he thinks your friend is attractive, it doesn't mean he has any intention of actually acting on it.

  • No, and it inappropriate who you women think about when you massturbate. You can maturbate without thingk about anyone. How would you know who he masturbating about. Can it be you are masturbating about others.

  • Yes it's normal, if a girl thinks that her boyfriend or husband is only sexually attracted to her, she is incredibly naive.

  • normal? that's a loaded term if I ever heard one.

    However, there is a world of difference between fantasy and action. Fantasies are good and healthy. And in some ways releaving the sexual repression over attraction to someone else through fantasy is better than having the tension build up and causing ill thought out actions.

    Is it a concern, yes. Is it world ending? hell no.

  • That's not right.

    It's ok to think a girl is attractive while with someone. Like a friend or girl.

    But wankinf about it is a tad too far.

    It shows you would leave your girl if someone better came about. Or would cheat if he knew you won't find out.

  • Don't be upset about it. You guys were playing a game. Be ready to accept what you learn, or don't play at all. He already apologized and he really didn't have to. What happens in his head is solely up to him and you cannot dictate his thoughts. Although... I don't know if most boys do this, cuz I don't...

  • not normal

    • Trust me it is norma , if you have a boyfriend, trust me he jerks off to girls you personally know, provided they are not all ugly.

  • Sounds legit to me. Nothing he said rang false

  • We are not monogamous in nature so yes it's perfectly normal.

  • asking an ex about a current relationship

  • yup. masturbating is way off fantasizing. you can fantasize anyone at all. but don't let this spoil your relationship. just notice if he's really not into her.

  • Nope, might be thinking of fucking her also someday

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