Boyfriend always gets hard while cuddling?

[annabanana552]

Even if he is just laying/ leaning on me or vice versa... he ALWAYS gets hard, and i know it's something guys can't help and its biological or whatever but its so annoying because sometimes all i want to do is cuddle or kiss. I've told him this and throughout the night he still gets handsy... then he'd catch himself and try not to do it anymore! I don't know what to do because i still wanna cuddle and makeout without feeling guilty... but i don't really want to go any further sometimes too?

[AriadneSky]

this is what im worried about and it sucks bc im not ready to have sex and i wan to be able to just get used to each other and be close plus i love just laying next to someone i like, but im sure he'll get hard and want to do more, so then we have to stop. it makes me want to date women. except i like guys chest ;p

i know the solution often gun is to jerk him off or something not quite sex, but if this is before im ready to do ANY of that, then there's no solution sometimes you just want to be close and not be sexual and i dont think there's a solution act him getting oder and less horny. i think older men have an easier time with just cuddling. from what I've heard. but by the time i am older ill have had sex and supposedly be in my sexual prone so ill want to fuck not cuddle lol

i guess young women should date older men and young men should date older women for sexual compatability ;p

[kaylaS91]

... wouldn't you be a bit worried if you were cuddling with your ass against his dick and he DIDN'T get hard, though?
(There's no reason to feel guilty unless you lead him to believe that he'll be getting some action that night, then bail on it. If you still feel a bit guilty regardless, it wouldn't help to straight up tell him that you feel like just cuddling tonight, sans anything physical. That's what I do with my boyfriend once in a blue moon and it always works out well for both of us.)
:)

[AriadneSky]

it doesn't hurt -physically- for him to be hard but not do anything? also isn't it frustrating for him?

[OleMissMiss]

@AriadneSky erections don't hurt men. If he's hard and doesn't orgasm he's not in pain. Far from it in fact.

[AriadneSky]

@OleMissMiss #REALLY.. its a lie? If it does not hurt, why does it seem so difficult for guys to calm down, if its not uncomfortable?

[annabanana552]

@OleMissMiss What about 'Blue Balls' though?

[kaylaS91]

'Blue balls' is not entirely a lie, but is often exaggerated by guys because they know that making girls feel guilty about not getting them to cum has a pretty good success rate in the girl's deciding to open their legs. Getting hard in itself is not in the least bit painful to guys. However, along with getting an erection, the pressure in their testes will often increase too, as they prepare to ejaculate upon climax. If they are left in an aroused state (usually when his dick is also hard) for too long without release, guys claim that this gives them 'blue balls'. Or painful testes. In reality, it might be a bit uncomfortable but it's nothing excruciating unless he's aroused for super prolonged amounts of time (>24 hours or something). Plus, he can always jack himself off if it's really that bad.

[AriadneSky]

Thank you for the info :) I dont mind if he gets up and takes care if it anyhow.

[Orion1015]

Unfortunately (?), cuddling can be arousing, for a guy. It's an intimate act, and that closeness tells a guy's brain to get ready, in case it goes further.

It's not something that we can control; just being in that situation can get us turned on, as it's an autonomic response. Most guys understand the difference between cuddling as foreplay, and cuddling by itself, and will act accordingly.

If a girl just wants to cuddle, then we can do that, but it won't affect our arousal. Chances are, we'll still get horny, just by having her presses against us, because that's beyond our control. We'll respect her wishes, though, and won't try to take it further.

[Levin]

Chap can't help get a boner. But, he doesn't have to do anything with it. It bothers you cause you think he expects something?

[annabanana552]

Yes I just thought that when he did get one he'd expect me to take care of it or something? lol I just don't want him to have blue balls or whatever... is that even a true thing? Does it hurt or something?

[Levin]

Some guys claim it's uncomfortable, I'm sceptical. Getting an erection is a natural biological function (sort of like getting wet is for a woman), doesn't mean you have to do anything with it. As I say, it's quite natural and involuntary when one cuddles. Providing he is able to get the balance right and it not be about sex all the time then everything is okay? So yeah, you don't have to do something all the time. It's about quality rather than quantity. Though I'd expect most women to like it and to want to be 'at it like rabbits' :D

[madhatters4]

you just have to make it clear that there are times you want to cuddle or makeout without it going further and he needs to be ok with it

you have to be understanding of the fact that physical intimacy is going to cause him to become sexually aroused though and not get so frustrated if it does

[AlwaysAGoodDay]

Yep well just don't be disappointed if he stops making moves when you actually want him too lol.

[NJ_Casanova]

He can't help it... you turn him on.

[TadCurious]

You said it yourself: It's normal biology. It's not something he's intentionally having happen to make you feel uncomfortable. It's the reality of how his body works in relation to being physically close to you.

[akadatank44]

Lmao thats typical. Just be he gets one. If his dick wasn't hard then there's a problem

[Jayded1]

But grabbing some ass or boobs is a part of making out? As long as he isn't trying to have sex that is cuddling/making out.

[somedaylove]

you have to know that cuddling is part of the foreplay. Laying near a woman and cuddling is one of the most exciting experiences and every man will be horny and hard for this reason.

[AriadneSky]

so how do people just cuddle?

[somedaylove]

@AriadneSky Impossible to just cuddle without wanting more.

[AriadneSky]

so what do people do before they are ready to have sex, just not touch at all?

[somedaylove]

@AriadneSky ok, if you still hadn't sex, he will resist a bit. Anyway i think that kissing can be a good time spent without making sex, just avoid kissing while lying. If you kiss by standing, you can go on for much time without switching to sex because the kiss is romantic and is not a sexy thing.

[AriadneSky]

but lying down doing nothing -except some kissing- is my favorite thing. its how i 'd get comfortable enough to do more.. bc its connecting and reading- for me i guess its not relaxing for him. hence the #problem.

[somedaylove]

@AriadneSky Ok i see. But no problem he is ok being hard. On the contrary he is proud to let you know that you are sexy and that he is a good working male. Don't worry for his boner, he will masturbate for sure later...

[AriadneSky]

i really thought it was painful for the guy I've no problem with being next to an erection lol.. i just thought it was too uncomfortable for him.. I've only been with one guy but he always seemed to want to stop after a while of lying down and kissing and want to take me home, for no apparent reason... so i assume he got too uncomfortable..

[somedaylove]

@AriadneSky it can be mainly after some hours of erections, he is a gentleman, he brings you home before it's too horny to stop.

[AriadneSky]

ok so after a certain point he'd have to stop, but its ok for a while. you think thats why he didn't want me staying over?

[somedaylove]

@AriadneSky Yes i think that he is aware that it's time to stop before it's too late to stop.

[mohamedivv]

U don't measure things well
U said it's biological then u annoying
Why?
If u want to have a thing u must pay for it
I mean u should respect guy' physiology before do anything ?

[Bilafasıla]

Follow me hottie👅💋

[Anonymous]

He is attracted to you in many ways and there is no way to stop that from happening unless you piss him off then it will go down for sure, it still happens to me if I'm physically attracted to the person I'm with

[Anonymous]

Why do you feel guilty? I get boners all the time when in bed. When the male body is very relaxed warm and comfortable it usually triggers boners. Just because he gets a boner doesn't mean he wants to have sex.