Guys, Boyfriend always insists on cuming inside my mouth but I can't do that. May be a deal breaker for him?

So my boyfriend of a few months has stated from the beginning of our relationship that oral is very important for him to the point where I think it might be a deal breaker. I hate oral but I have tried to do it after he takes a shower and usually without a condom because he hates condoms. I offered to give head with condoms this way he can cum but he says the sensation is bad and he insists on coming inside my mouth. He has never done this because we have never gotten to that point but I'm already compromising by giving him head that I don't particularly enjoy because I know it's important to him. However, I draw the line of him coming inside my mouth. That's not something that I'm comfortable with but I feel like if it's something that is taken off the table and doesn't happen in the future he'll break up with me. We have a good sex life otherwise but he's definitely sexually more adventurous than I am even though the sex that we do have seems to be very good for him. We do mostly standard stuff though. Thoughts?

Updates:
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Would any responses change if I mentioned he loves me?
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Superb Opinion

  • This is called "sexual compatibility", and if you don't HAVE sexual compatibility, then your relationship isn't likely to last. There's no "solution" unless you can find a compromise, and it doesn't sound that it's likely to happen in this case. That means the right answer is to end the relationship so he can find someone he's more compatible with and you can do the same.

    As important as feelings are, compatibility is MORE important, and you need to pick partners based more on compatibility than your feelings, because a lack of compatibility WILL change your feelings (or the guy's, or both), so you still lose.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Unfortunately, it could be. The sensation of cumming under suction is like nothing else. Like cunnilingus, letting him cum while you suck him is an act of love. My SO often dribbles and even spritzes pee. I have swallowed many mouthfuls. If you want to show him love, you should adjust to it

    "I'm already compromising by giving him head that I don't particularly enjoy"
    *Sexuality should never be about compromise.
    "I draw the line of him coming inside my mouth. That's not something that I'm comfortable with."
    You can discipline yourself to be comfortable with it. It's about loving him.

    "I feel like if it's something that is taken off the table and doesn't happen in the future he'll break up with me."
    *You may be right.

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What Guys Said

(20)
  • The whole idea about sex is that it's a two-way street. You should BOTH be getting something out of it. If he's not willing to accept that, he's not being a very good boyfriend.

    Then again, a few months of dating is not enough time to know someone before giving your body to them. But that's my opinion.

  • I think it’s good to be honest about sexual compatibility. Talk about it with him. There’s either a compromise or a breakup. Either he has to be fine living without it, or you have to be fine giving it a try. Or if those options make you guys unhappy then maybe a breakup

  • You need to talk about your sexual desires openly - what you like, what you don't like, what you will do, what you won't.

  • I think you don't stand a relationship where you're doing things that you really don't want to do. Go find a guy that isn't so obsessed with cumming in your mouth. They're always this the option of letting him cum in your mouth and spitting it out.

  • You have to decide whether to learn to like it or let the guy go.

  • Drop him and come see me. I couldn't care less if I never get a blow job.

  • Well. If that’s what’s gonna make or break your relationship? That’s kinda sad tbh

  • I think it's a bit selfish for someone to hold their kink as a lynchpin to a relationship. It is very selfless of you to try and endure and come to terms with his thing but if he doesn't do the same and try and acknowledge it's not yours he's being unfair.

  • Most guys would allow some sort of compromise or even go without it if they know what type of girlfriend you are and how much you mean to them. I seriously doubt this would be a deal breaker.

  • You are boring. He should find another woman soon

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