Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Boyfriend cheated and now telling me to act like it didn't happen. Why?

So my boyfriend cheated on me with his close friend who's a girl after we got into a huge fight. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and so they got drunk together and fucked. He swears that it was a mistake and he regrets it. And that they both agreed it was a mistake. I found out by seeing their texts, finding her earring (which he tried convinving me that it was mine then he hid it and gave it back to her), and that the last condom we had was used. He balled when I confronted him and told him it was over. We made up, but now I can't trust him and I cry almost everyday, but he seems almost unfazed. He says that he never thought of her that way, and that the sex was bad anyways. He gets frustrated/slightly annoyed with me when I bring it up and I cry about it. Though I do bring it up everyday. He's getting slightly aggressive toward me, and he keeps telling me to pretend it didn't happen and to think positively. Why is he acting like this? I still love him, and he loves me, and we want to work this out. But I'm moving 2 hours away and am scared. What should I do?
Updates:
+1 y
We are so happy together and it's just blissful, but when it comes to the topic of him cheating it gets ugly.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Leave him and move on with your life, no matter how hard it is. I can NOT say that I would leave him. My boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me once and he hasn't since.. However, it wasn't sex. He had just kissed another girl. And it was also within the first week of us being together and we have, like I said, been together 5 years now. BUT my boyfriend never once tried to make me act like it didn't happen. He cried about it almost as much as I did. He wanted me to talk to him about it. He wanted me to yell at him. Because he really did feel bad.
    However, your boyfriend isn't acting like that at all. He cried when confronted on his fuck up and has since acted unphased by it. He tells you to pretend it didn't happen because he doesn't want to talk about it. He gets made and "aggressive" when you bring it up and right there seems to me like he is just a douche bag who cried because he didn't want you to leave him and once he realized you weren't going to leave, didn't care anymore. He thinks that he has won because you are still there with him. This is not a healthy thing. He should feel bad, and he doesn't. Which means that it may happen again. And like you said, you are moving 2 hours away. So my best advice to you would be to move on with your life. Start over fresh and find someone deserving of your love. Because your current boyfriend seems not to care about your love or your emotions.

  • I know you love him and must think the best of him... But he's a massive twat. You need to woman up and leave him. No "making up", no immediate forgiveness, no breaking down.

    He screwed another chick and now he's acting aggressive to YOU of all people.

  • I really think you need to break up... how dare he get annoyed about you getting upset over HIM fucking up? & if you're moving 2 hours away then the trust is definitely not going to be there...

Most Helpful Guys

  • He's getting angry because you won't just go along with letting him off. Which would be a mistake. His anger shows how little he truly cares about what he did, how you feel or were hurt, or his own responsibility for being a dog and having sex immediately. I seriously doubt he truly loves you. More likely, he SAYS he loves you, but his actions speak louder than words, as does his arrogance at actually getting mad at YOU for his mistake. Lots of growing up to do there, if ever, as most men do NOT grow beyond a high school mindset. Oh sure, they can go to college and get smart or knowledgeable in a given field, but they really don't change the way they interact with others on the whole. I would strongly advise you to move on, as you will indeed never be able to fully trust him again, if you were fool enough to take him back in the first place. After all, he has now shown you his true colors, which include lying when it suits him. Not good.

  • You posted this question before except this time you conveniently left out the fact that you cheated on him too. It's very hypocritical of you to not trust him for doing the exact same thing you did but if you really don't trust him you should end it because a relationship without trust is pointless.

    • Is it bad that I told him that I cheated when in fact I didn't? I just didn't want to seem pathetic, you know? I just didn't want to be the pathetic girl who was cheated on and did nothing, but forgive him like an idiot. He was my first, I haven't had sex with anyone else but him. I'd be too scared to have sex with anyone else.

    • Ok I'm sorry for calling you out then. You should probably tell him the truth eventually but I think it's understandable and not pathetic that you lied about cheating since he betrayed and hurt you so badly. You just wanted him to feel the same way he made you feel. Anyway, I do think that if you can't trust him ending it is the right thing to do. A relationship needs trust to survive

    • Yeah, oh I'll tell him. I tried making him feel badly and I think he genuinely does, but not as bad as it should. So, thank you for the advice. I'm definitely ending this.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 1

  • fuck him man cmon! I feel he might go off and do his close friend again even if you're still living close by. I say move on. Cheating is never a good thing.

  • Um no you LEAVE HIM!

  • Never understood how someone can cheat and say it was a mistake. Do they not understand the definition of the word 'mistake'?

    Anyways, leave him. He's a fucking asshole.

  • You can't trust him anymore. He cheated, and he doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. Without trust, how are you supposed to have a relationship?

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Boyfriend cheated and now telling me to act like it didn't happen. Why?