Boyfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me yet but goes on chat porn sites? Would it be fair to allow it, even if it bothers me?

[Juicyred921]

My boyfriend doesn’t feel comfortable being intimate yet. Due to the fact that I’m still legally married. I’ve been separated from my ex for over two years and we’re going through the divorce process now. We hadn’t done it sooner because of financial reasons. Plus we both had a lot going on in our lives. But my boyfriend is religious and feels sinful being intimate with me until the divorce is finalized. Even though it bothers me that he goes on sites like chaturbate. I feel like it wouldn’t be fair to him if I asked him to stop. It’s not like it’s REAL cheating. He’s not with anyone physically in person. But I can’t help but feel a certain way about it. Am I selfish for wanting him to stop? What would you do? How would you feel about it?

[Bklynbadboy12]

I honestly think your feelings are valid. If he's so religious why is he on a porn site and why does he not feel guilty about that lust is a sin too. Your just coming out of a marriage not to long ago where you obviously weren't happy you don't need a relationship that makes you feel the same way. My advice to you is this tell him how you feel then try to find some common ground. Maybe you can do a show for him so he doesn't have t go to these sites. Do you think you could do that for him or would that be something you don't want to do?

[Juicyred921]

I dono. I’m extremely self conscious about my body. I’m kind of embarrassed by it. It’s hard to act sexy for someone when you don’t feel sexy. I’ve never done anything like that before. My sexual experiences have usually just been ground and pound. No foreplay except maybe the occasional bj.. but that’s it. It’s just been like “Assume the position! Face down ass up!” Lol.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Damn really im shock look at your profile pic your a pretty girl and when you find that guy that's gonna give you foreplay and eat that box and get you all excited first your gonna loose you ever loving mind! 😉😉😉

[Juicyred921]

He likes my face. But my body is the issue. I’m chubby. And I feel like I don’t have a sexy body. That’s probably why we only did doggy style, he wouldn’t have to look at me. No pity, just being honest.

[Bklynbadboy12]

@Juicyred921 Nah babe the chubby ones are sexy and if he's only hitting from the bad that because he likes to watch you ass jiggle with every stroke. See guys are visual if we're not attracted to you we won't get an erection and if we get one we won't hold it so if he fucking you it's something your doing that's turning him on. Now you got me curious I want to see how chubby you are

[Bklynbadboy12]

Thanks for the MHO

[Andres77]

I agree with @_maya_ or maybe open an account yourself and see how he likes it.

or another suggestion was that you could do mutual masturbation or be on opposite sides of the room/bed and masturbate while looking at each other.

i think he sounds like a jerk. “We can’t have sex but I can talk to other girls and I’m still following my strict religious rules “.

hypocritical and legalistic. He seems to think that he’s better than you. That will play out in many different areas of your relationship.
i’d highly recommend pre-marital counseling. Like…seriously.

if he balks at that I’d suggest putting the relationship on hold. Because obviously he’s putting his own pleasure above the best interests of the relationship.

good luck with this guy. You’re going to need it.

[Lokiion]

I can almost guarantee he not gonna do the masturbation part

[Juicyred921]

I feel like looking at someone while masterbating would be awkward. in my opinion. But I’ve technically never looked at someone during sex anyway.. so.

[Anonymous]

I'd slap him for winning with those chat girls! Omg my ex just looked at porn drooled over it and not me while dating.

Saying he was religious I slapped him with his holy book on the page that showed he was a sinning loser!

[Alena_543]

Nope I will not tolerate this. You can say him it's ok to fuck you.

[Losalt]

It's definitely reasonable to *ask* him not to and tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Asking is not selfish at all.

I don't think that you should *demand* it however.

Still, if he doesn't respect your feelings on the matter that's definitely something you should keep in mind.

And if other issues arise you might want to keep that in mind too.

[Losalt]

Alternatively, sit down with him and a vibrator? He might not want *actual* sex. But you that doesn't mean that you two can't have fun together.

[Juicyred921]

Thank you. That sounds like a cool move. But I’d be way too embarrassed. Too self conscious about my body. Which I understand that might be a problem on my end as well. But he’s not crazy about my looks either. He thinks I have potential though.

[Losalt]

Your looks? If that's you in the picture you look pretty good. So what's wrong?

[Losalt]

@Juicyred921 Try to step out of your comfort zone and join *his* sexuality.

[summiter]

It is unlike a guy to not want sex!!! Do you fool around at all with him like oral sex or handjobs?

[SnowedIn]

You are selfish for wanting him to stop.

But @In_Trance is right... that's the least of the issues.

@_Maya_

[_Maya_]

This is where you grab a vibe and sit down next to him and say "mind if I join you?". That'll fix something... maybe.

[SnowedIn]

That's brilliant, @_Maya_

[Andres77]

👍👍👍

[Gent207-2]

His hypocrisy is great and presuming he's a Christian, so is his ignorance of the faith. No judgement on you, I imagine that it's a divorce long forthcoming, but your new boo thing is showing some red flags.

[MikeTheBartender]

A boyfriend that doesn't want to have sex with you is not a boyfriend, he is called a friend. That being said, you look pretty good in the photo, have you been to that new Chinese restaurant yet? ;)

[Dargil]

I think that you are stirring the pot unnecessarily. It would be better just to let him alone and let events unfold and then become intimate when the time comes.

[RealMarek]

So he’s virtuously refraining from sex because you’re still technically married (I get it), but masturbating with other girls while in a relationship? It seems like masturbating with other girls while in a relationship is worse than having sex with a girlfriend long after her separation. After all, the divorce decree in many states will explicitly declare that the marriage ended on the date of separation.

[RHK36]

Stop dating weirdos.

[Lokiion]

The way you feel is normal but it’s also weird to watch porn relationship or not it’s very bad for you mentally anyways I would suggest taking pictures or videos of yourself and having him do stuff with that instead or try to do side by side masturbation

[hardboiledink]

No you have needs also and in a relationship your needs should be respected and at the least talked about then compromise

[Wise4myage]

He's probably addicted to porn.

[Lokiion]

More then likely porn one hell of a drug 😂

[Wise4myage]

@Lokiion Yes, it cure can be.

[AngryCarl2]

Your boyfriend is scared of commitment. Sex chat doesn't require any commitment so it's a less scary option. Whether you even want to waste your time on such a manchild is of course a matter for your own judgement.

[Juicyred921]

I don’t think he’s scared of commitment. He told me he wants us to get married after the divorce is finalized. So, unless he lying, I don’t see that being the issue. He says it’s a sin, adultery. Second worst next to murder. He believes we will be punished by god. I mean, we have had sex before and he thoroughly enjoyed it, but he felt wrong afterwards. And he can’t stand the fact that I technically “belong” to another man right now. It more than bothers him, it hurts him. ☹️

[In_Trance]

I think you have bigger issues to worry about here

[Juicyred921]

Like?

[Alex8736]

Leave him and let him date porn sites

[nudeNhorny]

That is not cheating

[balyai]

Don't let him watch it. It's gonna fuck your sexual life

[EaterPeter]

You do not have control over it and you should not try controlling either. Most relationships comes to this point

[Juicyred921]

I would never try to control anyone I was with. I think it’s wrong. When you try to control someone, it often means you’re trying to change them and “manage” them. If you love them, you love them for who they are. Why would you wanna change them? Unless you’re one of those people who date people with issues, saying “I can change them”.

[CubaPirate]

Doesn't seem very fair to me

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should ask him to masturbate while looking at you naked, instead of videos online.

[Juicyred921]

Yeah.. I don’t think that’s gonna happen. I’m not as beautiful or sexy as those girls. I’m not fully sure he’s even attracted to me. He says I’m a pretty girl with a lot of potential. I don’t think he’s be able to even get off looking at me. I’m a bit chubby. But I’m working on becoming someone a little more desirable.