Boyfriend has a competition kink. I have mixed feelings about it?

Question

As title says, i'll try to keep it short.
We are long distance at the moment and he just recently told me this. We are for 2 years together and serious as in planning a wedding and moving in together.
Anyways, he just recently (maybe a few months ago) told me he has this competition kink, mostly physical fights kink. I thought nothing much about it to be honest. The problem arose when he started talking about how he wants to fight his friend and then the "winner" gets the prize (me, lmao). He said that turns him on. Okay, i can understand that part too, partially. But then I asked what if your friend wins? Lol. He just said something like "the winner gets the prize". The prize is "me" and "having sex with me" while the loser gets to watch and be humiliated. Is my boyfriend a cuck? lmao.
After that i asked him that, he said no and said something along the lines that he would never do it irl. I said alright, good. Next problem arose when he started talking how I compete/fight WITH MY OWN friend. In the same sense, but the prize isn't having sex with him but just me humiliating my friend or my friend me, depends who wins. Like, i don't even know how to properly describe this because, to be honest, i have no idea how to understand this and how to feel about all of this. We talked and talked after i stated that i'm not comfortable with this, like if we are strictly in monogamy i don't feel alright if we go and talk about (for his jerk off sesh) how some other people participate in our intimacy and stuff like that. He said it's just "fantasy" but i dunno, i also have my own fantasy and it never includes thinking how my friend can have sex with my boyfriend while i'm "humiliated" and forced to watch it. Like, what the fuck? No offense to anyone if they are into it, i know that i ain't. All of this happened after he said he finds it "cringe" for us to sext and talk dirty and stuff. It's kinda making me feel not good enough. It's also turning me off from him.
Any help?

RavVid · Accepted Answer

I can see why you feel off-put by this fantasy. There are any number of movies where the hero fights evil and rescues/wins a fair maiden. That has to reflect a common fantasy in us as there wouldn't be so many movies and books in this genre if it weren't the case.

In part his fantasy is straight done the line of this genre but it is strange his enemy is his friend. Maybe his friend fancies you and knowing that feeds into this scenario. But you fighting your friend?

I'm failing in this fantasy of friend fighting friend. I don't understand it either. I would not like a girl to have a fantasy of fighting a friend to humiliate her. In fact when it became apparent a girl I was seeing really got off on violent movies, I got off. There was something there in the pysch that wasn't quite wholesome.

Kaneki05 · Accepted Answer

Been together for 2 years and planning a wedding and only just started talking about this... I think that's more an issue than the actual kink lol. You should've know this stuff ages ago. And he should know your's if you have any.
Two reasons because one can decide much soon if you are comfortable with your potential partner kinks or would adapt around it because you love them anyway. Now your just stuck in a awkward position. Which don't have a quick answer.

Guy13 · Answer

Oh my, i see how that can be a little stressful. What about some season tickets to Thai Boxing matches. I do not know but guessing at possible outlets. Do you think a counselor can help you think through this?

__MisterGoneShiner__ · Answer

BDSM is the best kink. 😈😈😈

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Yeah that’s easy, just dump him and suggest he gets some professional help. that is not a person any one same would want to date. really just drop him and move on.