Boyfriend, his Bluntness, & my Boundaries? Was his unsolicited wild fantasy with a pornstar uncalled for?

[Anonymous]

I appreciate that he feels comfortable enough to be himself and open with me, but my boyfriend just told me with enthusiasm about a porn star he likes, they way she looks, and explicitly what he would do. Was I wrong to be upset?

He's an objective guy for what it's worth. I admit I'm more bothered that he clearly didn't give a second thought to consider who he was talking to and how it could possibly affect me. In his endless defence, "she's a pornstar!". I would do the same to him out of spite, but i rather hold my integrity (it's not like me to speak all sex crazed for strangers). Any thoughts on this? Personal opinions even...

[SueShe]

The fact alone that he mentions that porn star and that is apparently well informed about her is an indicator that he is into watching pornographic content.

Watching porn while being in a relation is actually the first step in being a cheater. I presume he fantasizes about her and not so much about you when he consumes this type of addicting material. Therefore, it is considered as emotional cheating and that is always the first step before physical cheating.

Porn is for losers because they usually have psychological issues that they cannot or do not want to talk with their partner about what they fantasize about.

His behavior is totally uncalled for and I would start to have serious doubts about his integrity.

[Asker]

Thank you for your reply! I personally don't have an issue with my boyfriend watching porn as he is open about his wants and desires and as far as i could see he is loyal. I have my own moments with porn as well. In saying that, i believe there's a boundary or consideration issue when dealing with him and what he says. But you made some very good points worth thinking about regardless

[Paris13]

Or a Threesome. What a Scum. xx

[SueShe]

The thing is that when you consume so much porn that it becomes an addiction, you start by adjusting your life to your addiction. That applies of course to most addictions and not just the one or the other. Perhaps that you should have a serious talk with him about his reasons to bring this person on the table and what the bottom of his thoughts are. He is perhaps wanting to tell you something but is ill at ease to confess. It could be a kink, a fantasy or just something that he knows you are not comfortable with. It is better to be open and to be able to see where the danger comes from.

[Paris13]

My own wise opinion? Id he said that o you who is his soul mate and not a room mate, He is rude and disrespectful and is more into plastic and phony than a real amazing girl. Dump him. My fiance would never go for that. He hates that sort of girl and even celebrities also who are plastic and fake. This guy is a pig.

[Paris13]

Thanks, Gag. xx

[Wise4myage]

That depends. Was It your idea to ask this, or did he come out of the blue with it?

[Asker]

It was UNSOLICITED! I gotta add that keyword in the description

[Wise4myage]

Thanks, well I hope you told him how you felt.

[Asker]

I told him "lol really? You're really telling ME this? Why would you tell ME this? What if i told you about this porn guy and how his c*** would make me want to 'xyz' on it?" But of course the best he could say is "she's a pornstar!" (Facepalm) I generally dislike that bluntness sometimes comes at the expenses of being inconsiderate

[Wise4myage]

Yeah, it sounds like he knows he screwed up, but don't go nuclear over it and just make he knows not to do it again.

[Asker]

Glad for your input!

[Wise4myage]

Thank you, you are welcome. :)

[Iron_Man]

Of course I can understand you being upset

[Paris13]

lol What a real man. xx

[Iron_Man]

@Paris13 thanks

[Paris13]

Welcome, Tiger man. xx

[Iron_Man]

@Paris13 xoxoxo

[Paris13]

@iron_man xxoo

[Iron_Man]

@Paris13 ❤️😘

[Paris13]

:)) xxoo

[Iron_Man]

@Paris13 ☺️🍕🎃

[Paris13]

lol!!! No Choc Lava Fountain, Tiger Emoticon? xxoo

[Iron_Man]

@Paris13 I’m getting hungry I need to go to Golden corral but I’m missing somebody I need to take you with me

[Paris13]

Ohhh, Tiger, I am a Good Meal Ticket... Yum. lol!!! xxoo

[Iron_Man]

@Paris13 Let’s do this thing girl let’s eat and eat and eat for four hours straight like I did one Thanksgiving then we can relax at the Marriott hotel at the fire after

[Paris13]

Ohhh, You are so sweet, Tiger, How flattering. xxoo

[Iron_Man]

@Paris13 thank you so much hun xoxo xoxo I

[Paris13]

@iron_man Always Welcome, hun!!! xxxoo

[Iron_Man]

@Paris13 xoxoxixo

[Paris13]

@iron_man Hugs too From Denny's. xx

[Iron_Man]

Hugs 🤗 From South Florida from me to you at Golden Corral xoxoxoxoxoxo