Boyfriend Likes Porn More Than Me?

[Anonymous]

Last night my boyfriend wanted to have sex and I asked him if he was game for a quickie because it was late and I'm a bit sick.

He declined the offer and opted to watch porn and jerking off. I told him that it would upset me and he did it anyway. It hurt my feelings that he would reject sex with me and would rather watch porn. This isn't the first time this has happened.

I don't mind porn but it hurts me that he'd choose porn over sex with me. Also, when we have sex he can't stay hard but when he watches porn he doesn't have that problem.

It's taking a hit on my self-esteem. I have body issues and I had bulimia as a teenager and I'm afraid I'm going to develop it again. I'm sick with the flu but I'm willing to workout and do whatever it takes to lose weight to get him to be attracted to me more than porn.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Any advice?

[Melancholicsunrise]

Oh... That sounds not too healthy... At 35 he should be a little more aware of stuff at the very least. Do you think he is shy or something? How long have you been together for? Maybe he got bored of something (not assuming anything here, just putting the cards on the table) or maybe he isn't into something you do anymore? Communication. Pm me if you need more advice.

[Asker]

He is really not shy, especially not about sex. We've been together for about 8 months, living together too. Keeping in mind that maybe he is bored or just doesn't find me appealing anymore, what am I supposed to do? I'm also dealing with things, I get tired, but I still try my very best to keep him interested. It just doesn't work. I do different things, act out his fetishes and fantasies. What more can I do?

[Melancholicsunrise]

Pm me if you want more advice. Unless you want to keep it here :)

[Zer0Ghost]

This legit starts sounding like addiction, or at the least preference of fantasy, the problem with that being asking to cut back is usually met with heavy resistance

[Asker]

He does resist. When I talk to him about it, he gets mad and says he won't do it anymore and then he just goes back to doing it within a few days. It's like he can't resist.

[Zer0Ghost]

Porn is okay in moderarion but tons of it can lead to relationship probelms, lower libido, difficulty holding an erection, you're basically being flodded with images of fantasy all the time so real images start becoming less appealing

[Asker]

That's a very good point. Maybe the overload of porn is affecting his ability to hold an erection when we have sex. I'm making a note of this so I can talk to him about it calmly.

[AustinMan]

I hope you find this helpful:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a5423-why-men-watch-porn

[Mitch6192]

Don't take it personally. Sometimes we just want some alone time.

[Asker]

I get that, I need alone time too, but when it's this frequent it makes me feel bad about myself.

[Caaarl]

Sounds like an addiction. It's probably not you it's just him and his relationship with porn. You should point him to get sex counselling with you.

[AlwaysHonest]

Become his personal pornstar.

[Seppelson]

I would prefer porn and jerking off too. I am not that much into sex

[chuy10]

find someone else

[honest_man]

squats

[midomoha24]

try to offer him to act like porno, or make him live the same scenes he watches

[Asker]

Trust me, I do that a lot. I'm pretty open minded, I act out a lot of fetishes he has and do a lot of stuff. I've got porn scenes down, I've learned to do that in my last relationship.

[midomoha24]

then try to ignore him and his sexual desires, he will start to feel ur value, at this moment, dnt just go n please him, just keep him wishing and asking u for it

[midomoha24]

at the end he will feel bad and sad after watching porn continuously, we all do at the end

[Asker]

He says that usually when a guy doesn't get sex from his girlfriend, they tend to cheat. He says he has great self control but I'm still afraid that will happen.

[midomoha24]

well, he already cheating on u with pornstars he cum on them, if u dnt mind that, don't worry then, but if he stopped watching porn n stopped having sex with you, now then u will have to worry

[midomoha24]

by the way, dnt hate urself, i already envy him for having such a caring girlfriend, who is looking to satisfy his fetishism, value urself more and he will do the same dnt worry

[Asker]

Thank you, that actually helped :)

[midomoha24]

u are welcome :)