Boyfriend likes to watch p*rn and go into sex chat sites.. good or bad?

[winchestergirl_89]

ok so my boyfriend and I have been together for 9 long years and have 3 kids together. I knew he watched p*rn I didn't understand but he told me it was a guy thing that meant nothing so I let it go and even watched some with him which was kind of fun. but recently I found out that he's been talking to some girls about checking out their live sex chats. he said "of course he would love to" with a smiley face. so when he left his phone unlocked and went outside I was curious and sure enough he was on the site more times than I wanted to know. I just want some opinions. should I break up with him? he knows everything my good and bad..I've been very insecure about myself in the past and now even worse because I feel like im not enough for him. I love him but it hurts to know this and I don't know what to do..does anyone else consider this cheating? need help :-(

[islands7]

Break up... with kids? Crazy talk.
Cheating is real sex when married.
This is fantasyland, an escape from real life hurtles too high to jump, regression into depression and this helps temporarily but some go deeper - like alcoholics - and can't pull out of this death-to-relationships dive... then BOOM.
p*rn fantasy is one thing, chatting is a step down but meeting these gals leads to cheating.

Time to help him.
If you can't arrange some couples distractions like dance lessons or some other diversion, then you'll have to blow a lot of money seeing a counselor that will string you along... hoping he will cooperate before you go broke.

Breaking up with him w/o helping him just leads to another guy that falls into this or some other trap.

[sawno]

p*rn sites? Fine by me.
Sex chats? Thats a bit to personal especially if they can hear his voice or see his video.

Before your going to break his heart and brake up with him you should talk about it. He may not have realized what he has been doing as he was trying to fulfill his own fantasy's or sexual needs. You two might be able to work a way out where you can give those to him instead and he no longer feels the need to visit these sites.

But most importantly let him know that you are not ok with this and see if he is willing to change for you.

[questioner1991]

I would talk to him about it first. He may have thought of it more like a p*rn thing than a personal thing. Too me it would be too personal. Tell him that you don`t mind p*rn but talking is too much and see how he reacts. He may stop if he knows you don`t like it.

[MrOracle]

This.

[AustinMan]

I know this may be hard to believe but it's harmless unless he starts to act on it with other women. My wife probably wouldn't take a particularly kind view of my participating in this site but given the feedback I get on an ongoing basis, I feel like I'm able to help some folks and it does nothing to harm my marriage or our sex life.

[madhatters4]

p*rn is pretty tame to me but sex chats to me is another level. it seems to indicate that he craves sexual attention. I mean sex chat is rather anonymous and similar in ways to p*rn but it does show that he is really (potentially) dangerously invested in p*rn and fulfilling sexual desires. Whether your alright with it or not it sounds like he has developed an unhealthy erotic obsession.

I think he needs to get it under wraps, not because it is necessarily cheating (not that it isn't) or will lead him to cheating but an addiction to p*rn is a very real thing and it sounds like that may be the case here