Boyfriend needs to adjust to being in a monogamous relationship and wants to be in an open relationship?

I told him I don’t feel comfortable in an open relationship since I give him 100% and want him 100%. He says he enjoys sex and it’s just who he is. He says I have all of him and that it’s pure emotions and passion when we have sex and are together. To him, being physical with other women (friends) means nothing to him. He doesn’t want to break up but I told him that if he needs to adjust, we can’t be together. This fucking hurts
Updates:
1 y
Update: I broke things off. He says he wants to rid himself of these urges because they’re more frequent than before. He doesn’t seek out sex “it happens if it happens”. When he’s ready to commit to told him he can come back. I just didn’t tell him I may or may not have feelings by then
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Superb Opinion

  • My girlfriend and I are in a non-monogamous relationship, we met on that pretense.

    He's ethically non-monogamous. He have a relationship with you, and you're his only love partner, but he has or desire others for just hookups or FWBs. Not exactly poly and multiple romantic relationships. Many relationships and marriages are like this, some are more quiet about it than others.

    It's a cross roads you have to decide, because you cannot come in and just change his preferences. Like you can't go into a relationship thinking "I'm going to convert him to mono because I''m me." If it's something you cannot agree on, you'll have to depart ways.

    • Definitely not trying to change him

Most Helpful Guy

  • I used to be similar but not the same
    It wasn’t that I always had a new girl in my arm but if I broke up with one I’d have another in week
    I changed to never being in a relationship again because decided it wasn’t worth it
    Well recently I ended up in relationship with an old friend but I also broke up because decided being single is great enough for me




    Basically it’s not a matter of if you want him to change it’s a matter of him wanting to be changed. If he’s not ready for change then just leave or eventually you’ll break up and he’ll just find another

Most Helpful Girls

  • Men and women are different. A man can sleep with a woman and feel norhing for her. Thats why usually when men cheat they will still try to get their girlfriend back while women go to the other man. So he is not lying to you.

    However obvioulsy its your desicion to if you would be okay with it or not but he will love you just the same and wouldn't care about the women. Maybe starting with a 3 some with another girl all together would be a better start?

  • I feel you here. My boyfriend is the same way. It took me a very long time to understand. In my case, he hates jealousy. I can be with whoever, and so can he as long as we talk about it.

    I figured it out by thinking I'm the one he comes home to. I'm the one that he would die for. I'm the one that has him forever, and they just have him for a few hours

    • You don’t have a boyfriend you have a roommate

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 18
  • Sexual compatibility problem here. If you both can’t agree, it may be best to move on. I’d be hurt too if I were in your position!!

  • Get another boyfriend, one that isn't a moron.

  • An open relationship is pointless, if he having sex with everyone what the point of that relationship.

  • He's eithern monogamous or he's not. There's no adjusting. If your not comfortable with him fucking others then you two aren't compatible

  • He's telling you you're not enough.

    Don't wait around for him to tell you twice.

    A Real Man won't suggest an "open" relationship, only an immature fucktard would do that.

    Trust me, you deserve better. Even if he now claims he's changed his mind, he's actually shown his hand. I suggest you tell him to just use it.

  • Ouch! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Is there anything we can do to help?

  • You’ve given him the power by saying that you want to stay. He doesn’t feel any pressure to change.

    he needs an ultimatum. Now. Monogamous and exclusive or you’re out. And he doesn’t need time to think about it. Now, answer… and then move on. If he says he needs time to think about it…time to decide if you’re worth it…that’s all the answer you need.

    good luck

  • If that’s not what you want, then you aren’t compatible. End it now and find a guy who will make you his world. You deserve nothing less, so don’t settle for less.

  • it’s bullshit. he wants to fuck around without consequences

  • You did the right thing breaking it off. Never look back

  • It doesn't matter what his justification is, set an ultimatum. Your feelings are valid and if you don't want it, then the alternative is to break up. Don't let someone talk you out of your own feelings.

  • Break up. It is clear he wants sth else. Also, how do u know he ain't saying the same thing to all the other girls?

    U are just one of many.

  • Well done, but never take him back. He won't change.

  • So what is your question?

  • Well your relationship with our individual it’s not gonna last

  • Open him up for ever. Let him go and let him decide whether he wants to come back and be a man for one woman with one woman or not.

  • Why does it hurt being in an open relationship?

    • I’m a one women person. I give you all of me, you give me all of you. Adding another person into the mix makes me feel like you don’t want me

    • I see where your coming from but that is the complete opposite

  • Doesn’t sound like you’re up for an open relationship?

  • Then leave. He will meet someone who may be open to that, but if you aren’t than continue on your way. It’s not for everyone.