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Boyfriend porn addiction 10+ years

Boyfriend porn addiction 10+ years

Hey you guys some of you have followed me for a while now and have helped me with a bunch of advice and I just wanted to say thank you. And give you an update on what has happened since December.

So as most of you know him (29) (me 28) long story short, boyfriend has porn problem he has been for 10+ years but didn’t realize he had this problem until 1 yr after our relationship& confronted him about it. We’ve been together for almost 3yrs. I’ve been suffering in silence for almost 2yrs now. We’ve been on a rollercoaster for the longest.

& at last it has come to an end, I confronted him many many times about it, it got to the point where weren’t intimate anymore and we’re just like two strangers living in a house. It’s sad to me I would’ve never thought I’d ever have to life or go through something like this, and very least break up cause of this, but I’ve taken this as a learning experience. I know a lot of you may say it’s just porn it's no big deal, you’re overreacting but it isn't just "porn"
to them it's something beyond that they have
no control over, it controls them. This has scarred me and mentally hurt me so much, I’m hoping that I will soon heal from this.

It actually got so bad that I actually ended up cheating late December but after about a month later (in January) I found out he was going on hook up sites around the same time I cheated, trying to hook up with locals, I don't know if he ever actually acted on it (and I don’t want to find out) but it made me feel less guilty I am taking this to the grave I know it was super wrong and it’s not justified but I was just desperate and lonely.

After New Years passed we both realized how unhappy we were it was just not working out and we had to focus on ourselves (to hopefully be better for eachother) and make this relationship a side, we were gonna take it day by day. But have recently come to agreement that it’s best we separate. I am somewhat relieved that after all this I get to be free, it got so intense that his problem with porn and OF had become MY PROBLEM. I am obviously sad we broke up 3 weeks ago, he is still currently living with me but will be moving out second week of March. It is very awkward living in my apartment we barely speak to each other, my 6 yr old son is sad cause he has almost completely made him a side, (they’re bond was very close) I’ve explained to him what is going. Some days I break down & cry but others I am feeling strong & just want him to leave already so I can move on with my life. I’ve tried being his friend bc at days he looks sad too& I know he doesn’t count on a lot of people to talk to, but he either gives me the cold shoulder or is a complete douchbag so I’ve tried stopping all type of interaction with him but it’s hard. I recently found out he was commenting flirty stuff&hearting a lot of girls stuff on IG & it came up on my feed & I politely told him I was going to remove him bc I didn’t want to see that & found it disrespectful & ever since that day he’s been super salty with me. I know I shouldn’t be angry/jealous or sad/upset cause we’re broken up but at least he shouldn’t have to do that in my face at least if I were to ever to that I’d be super discreet about it. Like I said I’ve tried doing small talk but nothing I’m just waiting for these few weeks to pass.

I need to find a job soon, since he payed mostly everything I am ready to start a new life and find my self again to be the strong independent women I once was. I know a lot of other people have had it tougher but anything is possible we just have to keep pushing forward and keep our head held high.

Anyways thank you for whoever reads this. It truly means a lot. Have a great weekend.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you will be a lot better off without him and congratulations to you for breaking off your relationship with him. You will find happiness in the future.

    • Yes definitely took a lot to walk away from this and put myself and happiness for the first time in my life. Thank you for your kind words.

    • You are more than welcome.

    • Thank you for the most helpful opinion

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I am new here, so I haven't followed or heard about your story before. But I read it and I just wanted to say well done for choosing you!
    It sounds like he needs professional help and isn't willing to take the step to fix his problem. So he'll continue to do what he does and there's nothing you can do about it, honestly. 10+ years is a long time to have any kind of addiction and clearly he isn't at a point in his life where he's willing to confront it.

    After 3 years, it's going to feel a bit empty. But it's for the best. It sounds like a very painful relationship for you to be in for so long so the breakup should be a breeze compared to all the hurt. No more years of sadness, you take yourself back and go conquer your world! Well done 💜

  • You obviously weren't happy being in the relationship. I can definitely see where you'd feel hurt that he wanted to watch porn all the time but wasn't intimate with you. That sounds like he had the desire, he just didn't have it for you. I don't know what you did as far as cheating, but if you think it's possible he was cheating too, it might be a good idea to get tested for STDs if you haven't already.

    • Yeah I wasn’t happy and he wasn’t happy, we’ve been co existing for the past two months since he still lives with me but he will be finally moving out next week. It’s been very strange a lot of emotions. I’ve been learning more about myself in positive ways. As for the cheating that one time I obviously used a condom, and as for him I have no idea but something tells me he never did cheat on me or I’m hoping he didn’t… either way yes I am getting tested have my appointment at the end of the month.

    • It's good you can take such a situation and pull something positive out of it. I think dealing with the ins and outs of relationships can be one of the more difficult aspects of life because of how our emotions are involved (and how some people's emotions aren't involved) in it. I hope everything goes well for you and you find a better relationship in the future.

    • Hell, I’m proud of myself too. Not to sound cocky but you just fed my ego a little bit lol. Never thought I’d be able to handle something like this in the way I am doing. I’m a super emotional person and it’s been hard but I’m just taking all this as a learning experience. Thank you so much!

  • You're typing wayyy to much for an issue as insignificant as nudes of random to jerk off too

    • This was 3 years of my life it’s a pretty big deal to me.

    • Wow, you’re a jerk. If all you got out of Waldorf7’s post was that her boyfriend likes to “jerk off to nudes of randoms” then you must be like, 14 years old and not understand how life works. and if you’re gonna choose to not be helpful, why don’t you just keep your ignorant opinions to yourself? You sound so naive and pathetic

    • Def a big deal! And you’re not wrong for how you feel, at all. I can agree that porn in general isn’t a big deal (in my opinion, obviously. Bc this will vary from relationship to relationship depending on the couple’s arrangements/what they agree they’re both comfortable with).. but just like everything else in the world, it can be okay in moderation just like alcohol.. if you can drink socially and have it not effect your life in a negative way then awesome! But some people become addicted and then can’t hold a job, or have any healthy relationships. This can be said about porn too.. especially if it’s preventing you from being intimate together

  • I had a similar experience, the only thing was: I was the addicted. It was more about sexcam than actual porn, although I was fully addicted to porn years ago. My ex was sexually inexperienced and I honestly couldn't manage her insecurities, my insecurities, and the distance, among other things.

    3 years passed, we weren't going anywhere so we decided to breakup. I even propose her an open relationship, not knowing she already had her eye on someone else, online—I knew that a year after.

    The bottom line of everything, is that she didn't feel comfortable with the relationship, neither with herself. We both wanted things that matched our comfort zone. In her case: an emotional type of relation—penpal—, in my case: an emotional and sexual relation—without considering multiple factors.

    Although, thinking it over, I wasn't expecting for to much. Probably what made me went nuts, was her excuses of not showing herself on cam, after 3-4 months.

    In the end sometimes is better to let go; there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes two hearts are better off apart, than together.

  • Thank you for the update. It sounds like things should get better for you soon.

  • I don't feel sorry for you in the slightest since you cheated on him. Should have ended it before that. No excuse.

  • Well, I'm sorry to hear you're breaking up, but quite honestly based on what you're saying you're justified and right to do so. The best thing now is to try to put this as far away in the rear view mirror as possible. Stay Safe & Good Luck! Let us know your updates.

  • Oh damn I’m sorry

    i didn’t know u had a son either! That’s cool! If u ever need someone to hang out with ur son or talk to him lmao lmk I’m closer to his age than most people here 💀 hahaha

  • What a joke

  • Did you ever try fulfilling his fantasies? Ask what king of p0rn he was watching and see if there was a way you could make it a reality for him? Or are his fantasies something that cannot be achieved?

    • Yes of course I did I would wear sexy lingerie for him, and I would always try to initiate sex with him and more than 90% I’d get rejected so I just got so over it. This is the type of stuff he was dealing with just gonna copy and paste from a Reddit post that relates to what was going through in his head: I feel you there. I think my problem is I get a sense of power from it verses regular porn watching. It just feels great having the ability to spend only 5-20 dollars and be able to see that attractive women naked and doing all those things. I'm tired of spending to but as soon as I get in the mood my brain keeps telling me it's not that much, just once more etc. Sometimes I can beat it and watch regular free porn which I feel relieved afterwards for saving the money, but when I don't I just feel dumb for wasting it when there's so much free content I could of used. + Reply Additional-Leader-35 • 316d I feel this every time I do it... The post nut clarity hits so hard after spending money to cum. I think i'm going to block it trough the bank. 5个5 Kitchen_Ad_5021 • 164d Same man I use it and then delete it cuz I end up spending money on it so I feel ashamed and then I see a chick that's thick af on ig and see her only fans and then just end up doing it again, it's a cycle. People do it for different reasons but my problem is that my brain loves to see these woman that aren't pornstars become naked and feels exclusive to me It's hard to stop.

  • He doesn't think your good enough, that is why he rubs his mushroom tip to porn

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