Boyfriend refuses my sexual offers?

Question

I have a very high sex drive. I'm horny multiple times everyday when around my boyfriend. When I'm alone maybe 3 times a week. The thing is, my boyfriend doesn't want to have sex more than 2 times a day. Not even blowjobs and he refuses mine, saying he is not in the mood and that sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship. I get him and that's true, it's not like I'm on his cock 24/7 but very often I would kiss him and touch him, ask him if he wants head, he would tell me to leave it alone. >_< I feel very sexually frustrated at times because even when we're having sex, it's quite short and I spoke to him about it but I don't know what to do. I don't want to make it uncomfortable for him that's why I started asking him. He doesn't allow me to get a vibrator so I can have fun on my own. I thought men would be happy to have a girlfriend often dressing up in cosplays, always down for them and always offering them all, but it doesn't seem to be the case here. ;_;

veganrogue · Accepted Answer

You sound amazing! I'd be over the moon. At that age, I'd get off ten times a day. Even at my age now, 5 times a day is fairly normal, especially on weekends. I don't get his issue with you "not being allowed" to have a vibrator. He's certainly not getting the job done. I'd say get yourself one anyway and if he bitches about it, he knows where the door is. He's not the owner of your pleasure, you are. I waited until my late 20's until I started to demand what I needed sexually from prospective partners instead of "hoping" that it will get better. People are so afraid to express what they need sexually that there are millions of people in dead-end sexless relationships. Before I made my needs clear, I wasn't secure asking girls to fuck 5+ times a day as I didn't want to be considered a "freak". Since I made my needs clear, now there's no whiny, "Are you horny again? We just had sex an hour ago". It sounds that he has a lower sex drive. Most likely it will decline with age, so if you aren't satisfied now, you may want to seriously consider moving on. I know it sucks because you love him, but it doesn't seem like he's reciprocating too much in your relationship. it will be a tough convo but it's necessary. Lay out what you need exactly and if he can't or won't at least meet you half way, find somebody who has a high sex drive. Don't let any man deny you of what you really need and desire. Follow your pleasure.

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

Sorry your situation sounds like it is a bummer, especially that you aren't allowed to use toys. Because my suggestion would be you masturbate or get some additional men in your life who can help you enjoy your sexuality. I don't know if this will be a dealbreaker for you but what I think is sad is that if you stay together I'm guessing your sex drive will die, just like a cat you don't feed. As you are, yes you would be a dream for many men, but also it is a bit much to have sex even twice a day when there is so much else to do with work, school, exercise, eating, bathing, &c.

Though it's great to have a woman who is ready to drop to her knees or drop her panties whenever I tell her to, it's also nice to "get thirsty" and build up some anticipation.

If you were my girlfriend, I'd be making you masturbate or do Kegels to get out that extra sexual energy without wasting it, with the bonus that you would stay horny and also make your pussy extra strong to squeeze me tight when I wanted it.

ohsheeT · Answer

I hate when I read stuff like this because it's the beginning of your relationship and he's already worn down wait just wait for another 2 to 3 years what's going to happen then you have to go buy a pogo stick LOL

Let me ask you this when you have sex when you make love who's more in control you or him I mean of the whole situation because maybe you're too aggressive and maybe that just wears him down because he wants to do it his way so he can please you and also last longer that could be it too you just not rather have sex if you're really aggressive because he wants to control the situation maybe I'm not saying that's what it is you have to answer that part

madhatters4 · Answer

he has a different sex drive. that's fair. we have to try and accommodate our partners sex drives. sounds like you guys are having lots of sex so i wouldn't worry too much

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

"I thought men would be happy to have a girlfriend often dressing up in cosplays, always down for them and always offering them all"

Yeah that sounds absolutely amazing tbh, if she played video games and made art too, its marriage worthy amazing.

lucky bastard needs to give you more attention.

I can relate to your frustration, but even moreso (my sex drive is just as high, but I'm a virgin and single).

At least you get it some of the time 🤷🏻 Either way, my condolences.

AydenHazor · Answer

Sounds like you're not sexually compatible with him. It also sounds like he's fairly controlling, not letting you get a vibrator to satisfy yourself when he's not willing to satisfy you is manipulative for sure, and also not within what he can or can't "allow". Take care of yourself

Wise4myage · Answer

Move on, you aren't sexually compatible with this guy.

jahaims · Answer

Sexually you sound like what most guys want in bed. Him having sex twice a day is plenty from him. He really has no right to tell you to not use a toy if he can't keep up with you. I think it is a fair ask if he was actually satisfying you.