Boyfriend said I’m suffocating and that’s why he won’t have sex with me. I’m not sure what to do?

My boyfriend (36M) and I (27F) have been together for 2 years and haven’t had sex in 2 months and in the last 6 months it’s only been twice with him finishing one which was like 6 months ago now. I brought it up 2 months ago and he said he was stressed with work and that all he does is sleep and work. Well I brought it up again a week ago and he said that I’m suffocating him. He said all I ever want to do is be attached to his hip and cuddle and kiss. This makes him not want to have sex at the end of the day. I have seen porn come across on his phone before and have an inkling that he is taking care of things himself like once a week.

Since this discussion I have been extremely insecure. I didn’t mind the porn previously or him getting himself off, it’s life and sometimes that’s easier. However since this conversation I have felt like I’m not enough and have been extremely anxious.
I’m not really sure how to proceed. We live together and I have been giving him his space and haven’t been as physically affectionate but my primary love language is physical touch and I have a high sex drive so this is difficult for me.

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AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion
  • Oof girl, that's so rough. No wonder you've been feeling anxious and insecure after what he said. A few thoughts:

    - His excuses of being too stressed/tired don't fully add up since it seems like he's still watching porn weekly. That would be hurtful for any girl to hear.

    - Calling you "suffocating" just for showing normal affection like cuddling is really unfair. Every relationship needs physical touch and you can't help that being your love language.

    - The fact that you've tried giving him space now with no improvement shows the issue likely goes deeper than that.

    It might be time for an honest heart-to-heart where you tell him how rejected and unwanted this has made you feel. See if he's willing to open up about what's really been bothering him - is he losing attraction to you? Going through something emotionally?

    Don't let him make you feel like you're in the wrong for having a high sex drive or loving touches between couples. That's totally normal. If he refuses to communicate better or things don't start improving, you may need to consider if this relationship is fulfilling your needs long term. You deserve to feel wanted, girl! Stay strong <3

Most Helpful Guy

  • Unfortunately, it seems like you and him are not compatible sexually speaking. He is stressed and pressing him on the lack of sex stresses him more (been there myself).

    He needs to change his habits, but the change has to come from himself, you cannot force him to do it. So... either you wait or you recognize you won'0t be getting some anytime soon and break up.

    You deserve to be with someone who can match your sex drive

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 4
  • it's easy to jump to the he cheating or losing interest conclusion but only you can see the signs and find out what going on, i hope it ends well for both of you

  • A girl cuddling and kissing me is going to get me horny, what is wrong with this guy

  • Porn can affect a guy's performance and how much he wants to have sex with his partner. You might want to move on

  • You being too loyal to a kind of person whose value is not worthy for me. be smart!