Boyfriend tried to have sex with me but I was fast asleep?

He said I was like a dead fish. I didn’t even notice. What should I do?
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • you should establish boundaries. humans are complex, but still primitive, animals. show him some grace, but make it clear that behavior like that is unacceptable. if it was traumatizing, maybe you should stay away from him. it's up to you how to react. to be honest, I bet that 90% of guys fantasize over having sex wth a sleeping girl. melatonin (the brain chemical responsible for making you feel tired) is linked to less suppression of impulses. so basically, the more tired you are, the less impulse control you have. your boyfriend may have not been in the best place mentally when he did that, and he might feel tremendous guilt over it. the BEST thing you can do is try to talk to him about it in a constructive way! good luck <3

Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all have you consented to him doing this beforehand if not and you don't agree then Tel him not to try again. And remind him it's rape if he does.

    If you are ok with it then he was expecting a bit much to get much of a response from you while asleep. Maybe you should make the suggestion for him to wake you up with oral instead!

Most Helpful Girls

  • He woke you up and then derided you as being "a dead fish"?
    Wdym, "What should I do?"
    Tell him to stop criticizing you, and that he's lucky you didn't dream he was a murderer coming at you and that you didn't kick him in the groin.

    He can wake you up for sex (if you like that), but he cannot ALSO criticize you for not waking up enough!

  • Well if you didn't establish he was allowed to do this get mad at him. But if you are okay with it then what I usually tell the guy is he can go as hard as he can he doesn't have to try and "not wake me up" since I don't mind waking up to sex LOL! Hell I tell guys to even facefuck me while I sleep if they really want too LOL

    • Wow so naughty

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

7 20
  • You should tell him it's better to be like a dead 🐟 fish than to smell like one. Tell him he got lucky 😊

  • Any woman sober that could sleep through a penis inside her vagina sliding back and forth has serious issues!

  • Tell him that is not ok unless he clears it with you first. If you didn’t consent to it that is rape.

  • Had you discussed this previously so that he understood it was okay with you? Or was it not okay? How do you feel about it now?

    • I feel like I missed out on a good opportunity to have sex.

    • Tell him the next time, he must start wth foreplay that will wake you up and give you an orgasm.

  • Nothing. You were asleep.

  • Initiate sex with him next time, while you're both wide awake.

  • That's bad from your side

    • I bet you won't fall sleep 😉

  • That's rape

  • You obviously seem uncomfortable with that. Break up with him, and if you feel that’s not enough report him. That was very much non consensual sex, relationship or not. It’d be different if you guys discussed prior that this act was acceptable, but you didn’t. I’m really sorry this happened to you!

  • If he didn't realize that you were asleep... maybe you need to up your game.

  • It depends on how YOU feel about it. For example, In my marriage there is complied consent, Meaning that unless she says no, i have consent. If you feel violated, If you feel like he should have asked or woken you up, then its sexual assault or rape, and you should go to the police.

  • that sucks but everybody needs their sleep

  • Tell him to wake you up first next time :)

  • That's beyond creepy to me, but how you feel is what matters the most.

  • Stick your finger in your boyfriends butt when he sleeps.

    When he wakes up startled just tell him

    "Oh hi babe, i was just fucking you, go back to sleep"

  • Do you feel violated? Technically it's rape since you did not consent. On the other hand if you don't particularly mind then don't do anything about it.

  • Wdym what should I do? You can't really do anything after the fact

  • Forget what he said. How do you feel? Do YOU enjoy somnophilia?

  • "Tried to", like he didn't finish. If it didn't bother you just let him.

  • Tell him that you were asleep

  • Show More (7)