Boyfriend wants to be more adventurous with sex, preferably butt stuff, me, not so much?

[Anonymous]

I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and half. We moved in together not too long ago. He said since we have moved in together and been together awhile now he feels really comfortable and wants to experience new things and give me happier memories than past ones, I was raped before. He had asked to cum in my mouth while giving him a bj, I did let him but ultimately I hated it. Lately he’s become interested in anal stuff. I don’t mind the foreplay aspect of it just nothing put up my asshole because to me it’s just painful even with lubrication and doesn’t feel right. I’ve told him this and he says he’s ok with it and we don’t have to do any of that if it makes me uncomfortable. I guess my paranoia is telling me we aren’t sexually compatible anymore and he may find someone else willing to do more than I am.

[ShellyB]

I have the EXACT same situation or did a couple years ago, I said no and he respected it and it is not an issue we are still happily together and in love. I think you will be fine and if it does cause an issue, it means you are not really compatible, I would not do it out of paranoia if you are not comfortable with it. People like different things you may get advice to try it but if you are not comfortable with it you really do not need to try it it is not something that should be expected or required. JMO!!

[20yearsolder]

Relax, whether you were raped or not. There are women that do not like anal. It's your butthole and you decide what happens to it. Don't give in because you were afraid you're going to lose your guy. If a guy pressures a woman into anything she doesn't want to do. He doesn't really care about it her. Be open and honest with him. I've been married for 32 years, I probably had anal sex with her five times in 32 years. When she offers it up, I take it. I don't ask for it. Sometimes I finger her butthole while I'm fingering her pussy and she enjoys that

[Fireguy17]

don't let yourself be guilted or talked into doing anything that you do not feel comfortable with.
You will not be happy afterwards.
If he really cares for you, he will or should understand and respect your wishes, it's your body and you have the right to say no.
If he cares for you he will stay, if he is just in it for sex and leaves then you had the wrong guy.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like deja vu for me. My ex wanted to do butt stuff and I did NOT. He was never pushy about it but he made a couple of comments that I could tell he wanted it. I ended up doing in twice with him on special occasions because I wanted to do something special for him, but it was not enjoyable for me at all either time. I have actually learned to enjoy it a lot with my current partner (a woman). I think it matters a lot who you do it with and how they are about it. It made all the difference for me.

[PrettyPriya]

I wouldn't worry. Reading through your details, sounds to me like he accepted that you are not comfortable with it. That is a good sign. It shows that he has respect for your boundaries. It doesn't mean he is going to go seek that somewhere else.

If he does, guess what? That means you dodged a bullet. Only someone incredibly disrespectful and immature would leave someone because they didn't bend to their will.

I don't get that feeling from what you have said. I think he accepted it and moved on. I do believe you might be a little paranoid about him getting that somewhere else. It just really doesn't seem like that is the situation.

What it does seem like is that you have a fairly solid relationship. What I mean by that is there is a level of communication, respect and trust. Those are all very important things. He didn't push you to do it but rather accepted you didn't want to.

[Kuroz100]

Nah, I think its fine to have sexual preferences. Its a choice. You don't want to be with someone you can't do stuff with.

[Guy13]

I don’t like butt stuff either as long as BJ

[RobT312]

I think you should both talk more about sex, it doesn’t sound like you are both comfortable with each other yet. He needs to know more about how you feel, and you need to hear more from him

[Berethor]

Maybe you aren’t sexually compatible, but anal is gay, having PIV should be enough.

[JPresidente]

I wouldn't worry. If he says you don't have to do it because you're uncomfortable, he's right. He just want to be with you or "in you" and that's fine. Just make him happy with the things you're ok with doing and blow his mind. Guys aren't gonna leave you or look around elsewhere over stuff like that.

[boobliker]

only do what you feel is right for you, as there will be things he won't want to do.

[Twalli]

I think he just wants to try new things with you. Some girls, like my girlfriend, loved anal after having it. So if you haven't tried something, you can't know if you will like it. Therefore he is trying to get a better idea of your range sexually to make sex with him enjoyable for you. Some of the things he's trying may also be new for him as well.

[Hanrej]

I'm curious about how he figured "giving you happier memories" means you do the kind of sex he's interested in. Has he ever asked what you want?

[CubaPirate]

Don't let him do anything you're not comfortable with. Communicate that to him in no uncertain terms. And if he doesn't want to accept that then I'm afraid it's time for you to move on.

[Gooddaze]

Well if he does it wasn’t meant to be

[billluc69]

just pegg him

[Anonymous]

Find someone who is on the same page as you.

[Anonymous]

You just need to tell him you're not into that.

[Anonymous]

You need to do what's right for you, and he needs to respect that. If you don't want to do anal then you shouldn't. If it's a sticking point for him, then you two are not compatible.